500,000 sats in 2015 would've been been just over a dollar. Obviously it adds up now to an extent but if you had one or two less coffees out a week that's ten hours of your week saved. If you sold one old video game you'd save yourself several solid days of effort.
A bit different if you're starving in a far off land but there's still more money to be made online elsewhere no matter where or who you are.
I realize that you look at it from a completely different angle and as you say
"I will truly never understand how someone winds up with that little respect for their own time to believe faucets are worthwhile. " But I assume you are from UK, and most of people from UK, USA, Canada and some other good living countries share your thoughts regarding faucets. People from Russia, Ukraina, Venezuela, Nigeria, Philippines and many others countries can not sell some old game or drink less coffees/it is about how to survive from month to month.
Even if I do what you suggest and save some time, do you think using that time to watching TV or playing video games makes more sense then claiming on faucets? Some people on this forum consider signature campaigns as waste of time also, why you doing this and not find some work in real life, or why not you sell something and spend your time better?