Topic: 2024 is lonely year, after marriage become even more lonely (Read 210 times)

I suggest you go talk to a psychiatrist and get some antidepressants. Go for trip to the woods or mountains, it will certainly heal you. I myself do the same whenever I feel lonely and tired. Explore tourism clubs in your locality and try engaging with them. You can also join a support group. Praying that you find happiness and peace in your life.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely and that you're struggling with the changes that have come with marriage and family life.But to be i guess you need to find a solution or reason and adopt the changes.

All these people chiming in with their paying sigs are your friends now I'm sure.  Honestly, how many friends does a self-confessed, self-hating nerd expect to have?  If you approach life with that mindset, you disadvantage yourself.  I'm not a doctor but you seem depressed - seek professional help; they don't always give you pills... sometimes just a kick in the ass.

That is sad mate ,  as we all celebrate the past year and this new with our family and love
ones but that is opposite on yours so sorry about that mate , hope you'll find joy in the coming days
here and also hope that your family will reunited to you as we need to be enjoying life in this world now .
But it is His family that his problem mate.

This is my biggest fear in life that one day I will go home from work and my family will not recognized me as if I am a total stranger, this is why I kept the balance , and I also kept talking to my wife about the formulation for the kids and her , so our communication is constant and we will never be a stranger to each other.
can you tell us about other components why this happens mate? I mean why they are treating you like that?

Give them time mate, maybe you are too busy in your work and other stuffs that you have pushed them back? sometimes it is TIME THAT IS IMPORTANT and not the Money , yeah we are providing foods and all stuffs but do we spend times for them?
those problems mostly occur when the father or the mother is giving more time outside the house.
so try to meet them in the middle mate.

I was wondering what kind of Person you are in real life?

Your Wife supposedly your best friend and best ally are denying you? and what more of your kids that treating you as stranger?

Lol where in the world where kids will treat their Father as strangers when most of the kiddos made their father/parents as a Living Hero?

are you a real father or a pretending father that's why you are receiving those treatment?

It depends and varies from person to person. If you get the love of your life, then it becomes fantastic but if not then things can be very tuff. When you have to spend time with someone you don't love and after marriage you still miss someone else, then yeah, it is lonely.

Correct yourself before complaining about the situation you are facing.

Why did your friends leave you after you got married?
Why do family members treat you as a stranger?
Only you can find the answers to these two questions, maybe the same life does not apply to other people.

My assumption is that why family members treat you as a stranger is because of financial factors. I don't want to talk about how you treat them because only you know the truth. Believe it or not, money always plays an important role in the two questions above. Money can't buy everything, but without money everything you have planned can be destroyed.

the former is the true. not the latter. No more debate

nope, you confused, I didnt say it is boring, and need more challenging. I means it is too lonely, there is nobody, because of you, I never had to sleep on the street, because of you I never gonna need to... because of you u.... u....

Communication is the key.

Not all that we see on social media are real. That's why I am not impress with people posting their happy moments on their social media accounts.

I don't like it when someone is sad because it seems that the sadness is also shared, well that's just me. Talk to your wife, the people that are you're seeing everyday.

You prolly just need some interaction but as we grow old, I guess that being alone is one matter to accept.

probably gonna get some depression drugs, and those red and blue pills which is very expensive to get

that is a lot of juicy details, idk how to get start, they leave me, they all leave me that is all i can know, i also dunno why guy are telling to visit physchology practitioners, I mean what is the point?

       -    The question is, isn't there something wrong with you personally? Do you think you have done nothing wrong? Don't you mean that you are lonely since you had a married life? Don't you and your wife get along well?

Because it seems like the problem is only between you and your wife, right? And what I don't understand is why even your children treat you badly. What's that? Are you sure you didn't do anything wrong? You don't even know why they are like that to you. What was the root of everything?

As long as you are responsible with your family and you provide them what they need you should be happy about that in the sense that they are important to you and you love them a lot.

For me it does not matter if friends will leave me as long as my family will always be there with me because they are my priority.

I don't get it when you say your wife and kids treat you as stranger because I think there is something for you and your family to settle since that is kind of awkward inside your house to feel that way to be honest.

Communication is really important specially inside the family's circle. No other person who can help you about that but you and your family alone. Talk to them or bring them to an outing, mall or whatever that makes them comfortable and relaxed go get bonding with them.

To be honest with this few details you dropped. Most people won't be able understand what you truly facing because they don't know what caused it or lead to the loneliness at first but they can try and assist you they way they understand and  that could help you too. Knowing the coursed and finding the solution actually depends on you.

On your post you said getting married, life become twice lonely. I don't that is true it's depends on the individual not the terms of getting married.

I know to have friends around is fun and awesome too, but first try your best to not be a stranger to you family before thinking of friends. Because true friends are the ones that stays with you no matter the damn situations. You got kid right? Why not make he or she your instead before thinking about those friends that left.

Create time for your families and love ones, and enjoy moment you spend with them eventually good friends gonna come around, just focus on your families and yourself first.

you've to know that building a home takes dedication and commitment. If your family isn't working, take time and work on your family so you can bond more with your children. The truth is that if you have a functional home, it would definitely affect your work life and complaining doesn't get anything solved. You've got to man up and face the reality that your joy is first of all your primary responsibility and that no one will help you find the peace and joy you're not ready to bring to yourself.

Regardless of the advice you get from this platform, if you are not ready to talk things through with your kids and spouse as the man of the house, you will continue being lonely and you don't want to get depressed right?

A man and his dad was talking one day…

-Dad, how is the marriage life? Is it good?
+Yes son. It is a wonderful thing. When you get married you will have somebody you can share your troubles with.
-But dad, I have no trouble…
+Don’t worry son, You will have it when you get married!

~anonymous Turkish story~

 This is just the 20th day in January. 2024 is still too young for you to conclude it's boring. I still believe you really need to find that spark that got you to get married in the first place. In life you have to create what you want for your self. Your friends may have left you or gotten estranged from you either cause they too have their families to build or they kind of have your mentality towards friendship because I don't really see why we'd need to get distant with each other the moment one of us gets married.
 Truth is, sometimes we create a mountain out of a mole and feel you've got a dismal outlook on life and marriage cause you've not really found your rhythm. You and your spouse could do fun things together despite being married or there are kids, it's just a matter of understanding and planning.

You should seek psychological treatment. I don't know what your living situation is, but are you willing to share the secrets of your thoughts with your partner?

I also went through some periods of stress and pressure in my life that caused me to lose sleep for many months. During the quiet time, I realized I needed to change my current situation. I found community activities, and the joy gradually returned, but I gradually let go of my previous relationship and I really felt happy when I was alone, sitting and looking at the flower garden, everything around me was beautiful very meaningful and grateful for life. Maybe you need motivation to get through this stage of life. Anyway, I hope you soon realize that you are not lost in the crowd, disconnection does not mean loneliness, it just means you haven't realized it yet create many wonderful things in your own life.

There are factors that make your friend move on and also your family treats you like a stranger.

Possible Reasons why your friends left you

1. You are married and have responsibilities to catter for. Perhaps you dont have that time you spend with them anymore. All you think of now is family. In Your discussion with them, you often talk about your wife and children and it makes your friend jealous of you especially when they haven't got married. Or dey prefer still being single and never want to be boderd about marriage issues. Rather thinks of flet.

2 it might possibly be that your wife doesn't give your friend space to come in, after you both got married. And her reasons might be that your friends should limit coming close to you because you have more responsibilities like never before. And then coming close to you might be a bad influence to you. Because women always think alkwardly. Forgetting that most of those friends who she never want close to you where there for you before marriage and possibly the reason why you got married do to their advices.

3. Maybe you also dance according to your wife tone. When you fail to control a woman, she controls you. And when a man is controlled by a woman he doesn't know that he's been controlled. because we men always ditest the word control. When your wife tell you to do this or do that, and you do without given it a thought it's a sign of control. Thought I don't know what you define as control, but in Africa that is how we define control by a woman. she doesn't want to see your friends around and you also tell them that your wife doesn't want them anymore, or you avoid them indirectly it's a sigh of being controlled by a woman. So check yourself.

Possible Reasons why you are married and still lonely.

1.  it could be that you married your wife but don't understand her. Women love attention and affection, you might be a married man and also a boring husband. Sometimes make out time to go out for fun. Give her attention or pay a listening👂to her. To know what she likes and what she doesn't like.

2. Stinginess is also another thing women hate. If you are always hand tight of releasing money or always monitoring every activity in the house it causes problems. Sometimes you should also be romatic in bed. Those things cause problems but you will never know.

3. For peace to rain 🌧️ in your home, wake her at 12:am in the morning and ask her what is the problem? And tell her to open up and tell her you want to make amendments this year and allow her speak on her grieviences then you both can resolve.

married and unmarried have differences. your friends, especially female friends, will definitely keep their distance more. if male friends, maybe male friends also have wives so they already have their own lives so they can't be invited anytime to play or just hang out at the cafe. so life after marriage is clearly different.

In my opinion and in general, events like what you feel at first glance, you just need to adjust to it and accept yourself as you are, most likely it is just a feeling that was born when you wrote it down. although not all, I think we all don't have time anymore and often forget to spend time with our families, especially those who carry out normal activities and participate in campaigns.

I have seen you lately complaining about your loneliness of unhappy life but I keep pondering to myself what exactly is wrong with you? Because I don't really understand why you keep discussing your personal life here know too well that the forum can't but only suggest to you different ways of copping with your life.

Buddy I will also suggest you go for therapy to get yourself out of whatever you think you're going through! Life is too short to waste them unhappy. Go get yourself back and be on your best of life.

It just happens, naturally, even animals do this, voluntarily, do you see your cats or dogs do the same too?

I cant believe none of you have the same vibes. Find the solution? Really?

What you need to do is to not find validation but find the reason why all your friends leave and your family treat you as a stranger that just does not happen for no reason kids love their parents especially if they see that their parents really do care for them but if even your kids do not show that appreciation then maybe you have been doing something wrong

If you feel alone then try to reconcile with your family

instead of complaining.. find the solution

you say when you got married/had kids your old friends moved on
well find a new hobby.
what sports do your kids do. become friends with the other soccer parents or whatever hobby they like or you like

save up a small amount of money even if its $2 a day and then once a month have a $60 experience involving people you want to experience things
whether its a romantic date with wife or taking kids to some entertainment venue

look on google for local social clubs

contradict to popular belief, after getting married, life become twice more lonely, because all friends leave me immediately, and my wife and kids basically treat me as stranger, I become super lonely although on my social page I post a happy family group selfie, but deep inside me I crave that loneliness so badly that I need validation from you I'm not alone, I have a big family in the picture to show you I'm not ALONE!