Topic: A long journey taken short - first and last journal entry of a failed trader. (Read 458 times)

No worries dude. Best of luck with everything. Keep us updated.

As I stated in my update. I dont expect anything. I am leaving my address in hope, nothing more. Someone today sent me a small gesture and that little gesture alone filled my heart. I cant explain what this position feels like. I've never had many things come at me in a single go but what that person sent me lifted my spirits for a moment.

Thank you for your advice on handling this with my father. Honestly, each word and persons opinion on that situation is valuable information to me on getting my head right to tell him.

All i have on me right now is a letter to my employer from my doctor stating why I can not work given my condition. I have blocked personal info but the context needed to verify my position is in it.

Sorry you feel this way, it is understandable given the nature of this space and past histories with others but I do not have in my intention to scam anyone.

Regards.

https://ibb.co/hxNBXwj

Doing trading too much also cause issues and that exactly happened with you, if you had enough patience you might pick the right price to buy and sell and also its mandatory to cashout the profits and move to holdings from trading capital.Sorry for your loss but now you can't do anything other than accepting your loss maybe you can ask help from someone to pay the debts and and repay then when you had money.

Don't forget there is no failures its all just the lessons for how to be successful.

I received it. I dont even know where to begin thanking you. It does not matter how much. For me, it is the thought, the effort you were willing to put in to do this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul. I wish you absolutely nothing but the best for this gesture!

Okay! Lets be honest on here.I do feel sorry on the situation you are into and now you've come back telling that you had a thyroid cancer.Can you at least show up some proofs rather than on verbal things?
Im not really that emotionless when it comes to real life situation but im somewhat done when it comes to alibis for most noobs out there just trying to make up some stories just to get some sympathy
and might able to get some donations because they've fooled out other people on this kind of way.

In any case if this was indeed true then better to confess out your mistake into your father before its too late..Dont make that problem would be dragged down until you pass out..
Money can still be earned and problems can be solved yet you do still have your family to support you no matter what.

Wow. Really did not expect this kind of response from anyone. This has me taken back a little to be honest, reading through all the comments. I didnt think I'd log back in here but I'm glad I did. Guys really, thank you all ever so much for the advice above, i spoke with a friend and he advised some of the same many of you all mentioned.

As an update on my dad. I have yet develop the courage to tell him. I know I will in time but it will take some time. The unconditional love and care he has for me, as I have for him, will get us both through it I believe. He has always been there for me through all my teenage mishaps and never once turn his back on me. I say this, as most would but I do have the greatest dad in the world. Just hope i can be as too as his son.

As for me personally, my health took more of a toll on me from stress of all this than I ever expected. My mental health is somewhat healing for now but... about 2 weeks after posting this, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The trading failing, mental health state and this cancer crap all came in one big box, everything hopping out one after the other over a period of weeks. I firmly believe the stress of all this, that I put myself through was the trigger for it. And now given my financial status, we are going to struggle to meet the fucking healthcare I will need. Even if I can fucking get it at all. My country doesn't have healthcare. It all costs mega.

So now, I could potentially have ended my own life my losing all this money I'm sure my dad would have used to help me. The fucking god damn irony of it all makes me want to vomit.

I dont know if there is anyone out there. Anyone who was read this who would help me out. I'm going to leave a bitcoin address here. I am not expecting anything as this is karma I guess but maybe I've done something good in my life which may turn around to help me now. They do say karma is a bitch and maybe it ends that way. Who the fuck knows.

Guys. Again. Thank you all so so much for the comments ye left. Trading may be a hard and cruel but what many of ye said above shows that their is really good people out there.

Thanks.

1G1DDZu5A7uEvhf7eh7a7qao76vur88BCj

Sorry to read that OP, I hope you look elsewhere outside this forum for some support. You can PM for some ideas, but you should not need to look far beyond your state or Google (I'm serious, search for help). I know someone else who's been down this road -- not in crypto but it's not a dissimilar activity when you trade -- and it has taken many years for the closure to happen and the courage to explain what happened.

There are more lessons I would say, other than to just "wait for your setup". I know it's pointless to say since we all take risks but always to risk what you know you can lose and go to bed all right. Also maybe not to borrow money ever.

And that yes, trading isn't just not for everyone. It's probably not for most of us. Hold that 240eur in btc and seek debt relief from your state. Good luck.

Thanks for the great read and I do definitely understand the emotional process you might have encountered during your trading.
I consider myself a hobby trader, as I am involved in the industry but trade only on my spare time.
I've started on bitmex at first and got lured into the 100x and soon realized it was my greed that keeps turning those 300% profits back down to 20% and even at a loss in most cases.

From what I've been studying some seasoned traders are, stick to a strategy that works through trial and error, put only what you can afford to lose and believe in your strategy and keep to the rules you set for youself (ex. take profits at 20% regardless, etc.)

Wish you the best of luck and hope you regain all your losses.

I feel bad for your current situation. I hope you get out of this situation soon. I've been in the same situation as you. I lost all my bitcoins by trading, which I think is the biggest mistake of my life. That time I haven’t good knowledge about trading. The only time I know how frustrating I am. Now I have started buying bitcoin again which I will hold for the future. Maybe I will recover all my losses. Don't be disappointed your good days will come back.

There's always hope as long as we are alive. I really hope he will resolve his problem. You are right, it's only money. You can always find the money, find a job whatever it may be and slowly pick up yourself. Maybe, this is his biggest challenge in life that he has to deal with. Later on, he will find out that there are other bigger problems than this one. And maybe, when he realized that, he will try to check again the crypto world.

Wow, I completely missed this thread until now.  I don't think OP is going to be returning, but I wanted to comment here anyway.

I saw similar behavior back in 2017 when bitcoin was on fire--people were borrowing money to buy bitcoin, sometimes taking out cash advances on their credit cards (with presumably high interest) to do so.  There was even at least one person who tried to--or succeeded in--selling his house to come up with more money to invest.  That's crazy, not only as a way to fund your hodling or trading in crypto, but for any other investment.  Even buying crypto on margin is extremely risky.

Hopefully OP is young and has a job.  If so, he's got a shot at paying off his debt to the bank and his father.  Also, his situation might seem to him to be hopeless, but it isn't.  Not by any means.  It's only money, even if it's a lot of it--and I suspect his father would forgive him even if he's pissed off in the short term.

I've also have done this kind of mistakes even in winning a trade i'd still lose more than i gain because of wrong entry point. After investing all my savings, i panic even the slightest drop in BTC price and instantly convert to USDT pair, not knowing it will pump. After that i've realized that trading is really difficult so i've switch to an hodler with the little money i have left.
After that i've decided to work for a regular job cause im really looking for money or we'll starve to death with my family. I do hope that you manage to make your way back in this trying times.

I think you had overconfidence in trading that leads you to failure as well. Trading can't actually make you millionare as you stated. Well, you can but not instantly. Even expert traders lose a lot. And since this market's volatility makes our trades win and lose, we should accept the fact that we are risking our money here.
 
 You go and tell your dad, bro. It is better if you'd be honest. I'm sure he will pretty understand you since you are his son. And please, do not be pessimistic. I, myself lose a lot in trading but I keep on motivating myself that I can still recover. This serves as a lesson for you, buddy.
 
 Never ever use loans in trading.

I believe that you are going to get your shit together and pay your debts,OP.Get a job,negotiate longer payouts for your debts and just work.Everything will be fine and you will get help from the people in your social circle and your relatives(not financial,but emotional support).
Crypto trading is pretty much like gambling and if you lack control over your addiction it will bring you down.
I guess you were every overconfident in the beginning.Trading with money that you don't actually own(loans,money from friends and family) is the worst thing ever.

It is a sad story I read, and I am sorry to know that. You now know that trading is not a quick way to make money, and in trading, you need to have control ourselves. We cannot force ourselves to enter the market if the situations are not right, and we need to realize when to get in and get out. But if you want to try again in trading, better you have control first and determine when to stop trading before you get the same thing as before.

I see you can make a profit before, but because you've been forcing yourself to make another profit, you lose the profit and your money. In trading, you need to use the money which you can afford, and I am sure that you learned from your lesson so you can know how much money you will use for trade. Don't chasing more profit if you don't see a chance to do that, and it is better to leave the market while you can.

I wish that you can recover your losses, you can be able to control yourself in trading or another thing, you can make another profit in the future so you can make your family, especially your dad to proud of you.

Meehn sorry about your situation, I really know how you’re feeling right now, but there is really nothing else you can do and you can’t continue lying to your family and telling them that things are alright while they are not, and you keep placing that heavy burden on yourself. I will advise you to just let them know what happened and you can all come together plan on how to sort out this issue you’re having.

This is one of the reasons you’re being told always, this has been repeated a thousand times on this forum, always make sure that you invest an amount you can afford to lose, stop throwing a lot of money that you can’t afford and at the end you regret. Bitcoin is not a money making stuff, don’t think that everyone here is getting rich just because you don’t hear or see stories of those that lost everything.

Trading would always remain the most complicated part of ones life. Trading has a lot of hidden risks which come forward on hitting some specific targets. Also most of the newbies might be thinking that they would never face excess loss because they have set up a stoploss for each order but this would never minimize your risk but it would only minimize the amount you might lose. I have seen a lot of people setting stoploss few cents below their buy orders.

We should understand that we are dealing with the most volatile markets and hence that price might be triggered anytime if you lack in research. This might make you hit your stop loss each. What you need to do in this situation is to change the percentage rate of your stoploss and find profits in smaller gaps.

That's the problem with trading. It's filled with different emotions.  You can easily get overwhelmed if care is not taken. This is why, the best traders are not those who are good with TA setups or FA. But those who have mastered the art of emotions control. When I started trading I read a book about the emotionless trader.  It taught me about controlling and managing one's emotions. I think that's one of the biggest problems that OP faced and he couldn't beat it.

To everyone else that wins and gets it turned to losses, You should take a break and read about how to better manage your emotions.

PS: OP. Sorry about  your lost funds. I pray you gather yourself up and be great again. This time without the mistakes of your past. Even if you don't trade any more but in your next endeavor.

The OP gives a good life lesson here. And for most traders here, it fits, we always thought that we can win any trade that we enter, we always believed in our capacity to overcome everything (including myself). So I also trade with that mindset, but somewhat in dawn on me that it is very wrong and could lead to many losses in the future.

So we should learn to adjust and adapt as well, not even the best traders can have a winning percentage if he didn't understand when to stop. And when our emotions clouded our decision, that's when everything started to go on a downward spiral, we lost control and before we knew it, we are in debts, how do I know?, because it happened to me.

I agree with you that we should immediately leave the markets if we are facing constant losses. This would only make you increase the number of debts without any actual profits. Majority of times, traders would only trade back again only to cover their loss but this is where they have to face excess loss by loosing even that trade. Trading is easier but only for those who have some deep experience and knowledge about what they are doing.

Most of the rest people just trade to find some profits and exit the markets but they have to face loss many times. If you can adapt from what made you face loss than you can again start trading with smaller amounts and try testing your limits but never pull yourself too much into the well of losses.

I can't think how it happens to you, it was of the worse case and I don't know what you do with your trades. Or maybe, you don't make it perfectly and your strategies being applied aren't working as well. I can see already how your Dad really disappointed for you and it was better to tell him early, and maybe he could help you either to decide and think the best thing to do before it all be empty.

I could see the hole for this and I think that you don't even have that knowledge and skill trading before you start. And for the aim that you can make money easier and get ROI quickly, it brings you into nowhere and this is the consequences you've got.

Too bad for him, I guess he's very compulsive when it comes to trading. A few years back when bitcoin is on its all time high, I see people getting crazy with it like everyone's newbie and asking how and where to buy it, I know from that time there is going to happen badly to them as the market slowly crashes and I knew for sure that they have lost on that event. It is just we expected to much from what is rising, we never see its shadow and so some are not in an ideal situation right now like the OP. May he resolve his problems especially his mental issue.

This is what I'm talking about since then, bitcoin is not a primary source of income and it will never be, same as trading that the profit is uncertain and if you make this as your job you are accepting to gamble your food in the table.

Trading is not that easier one like how people are sharing nor how it seems at first glance. At the same time, compared to forex markets or any other stock trading, I believe we got some chances to make profits with the crypto trading but you must try only on spot trading not the derivatives. Recently, I came across another sad story of a trader who lost big money just because of frequently hitting stoploss even he tried in crypto spot trading.

We must understand how bitcoin trading is basically working so that we can easily make good profits over the time. Just look at what Mr Satoshi is doing. He never touched their big stash of bitcoins and now become a billionaire out of bitcoins. I bet no active trader might have got chances to become billionaire out of their active trading of bitcoins but by simply buying and holding.

I mean to say just understanding the easiest way of making big money with bitcoin is simply buying and holding. Because, trading is not that easier unlike how most other people are sharing their success stories.

"My message to anyone who does read this. If you are trading profitable, great but do everything in your power to keep those gains. Trade once, gain and sit on hands for weeks  For those who are making losses more so than gains, quit. Dont dig down to an umclimbable hole. Cut the emotional attachment. Simply cut the bullshit."

This is real at it gets, most of the time we profit big, and we felt good and became trigger happy.
And suddenly we lose grip of what is happening, losses after losses and we are adamant and says to ourselves that we can bounce back and then we dig ourself to an unclimbable hole.

Thanks again for the reminder and I wish you well and do hope that you can somewhat recover.

Another sad read, but I'm glad you let it out here in this community, after all this is what community should be, sharing their experience, whether its bad. I can also relate but not in trading though, it's in gambling, I'm knee deep on loans because of my addiction, don't know where to start.

But it's good that I learn crypto, somewhat manage to enter the picture in 2017 was able to win some of my trades and early holding. Not too late though, I'm sure you can find ways to go back and recover as well. Best of luck mate.

This was a great read overall; I can relate to some of what's been written here since I also experienced almost devastating losses at the beginning of my trading career that likewise pushed me to reconsider even trading at all, but hopefully more people read posts or threads like this no matter how unfortunate the circumstances might be for the OP because very rarely do we get to see the story of the losing side of anything, not just trading. We talk about how bad emotions can be in trading, but rarely do we get to see the results of emotional trading.

I hope you'll be able to move on from this. If you push yourself hard enough, you'll be able to overcome this in time.

Actually a sad story to hear but man, you arent the only one who do experience on losing money here on crypto trading space.The mistake you have done here is that you are
just too overconfident which in result for your father money to get involved promising out to be good and get too excited into things which isnt even happening yet.
If you do got stressed too much or pressured on how you can repay him then its better to confess even though they would get angry but at least you are honest that you had committed a mistake.
When trading up, emotion is a big factor that can affect profitability and in the time you do treat it already as a sort of gambling then expect for these kind of common situations.
Thing here is that you should learned up to those mistakes and be cautious on next time you do tend to trade once again.

Once you tell your father about the situation trust me you will only have to think about how to earn money which will be much easier rather than trying to earn 28k which is near impossible in your current state of mind. Unlike gambling, you may develop your skills for trading over the time and you may start trading slowly with very small capital for beginning days.

I was a gambler and lost big sum of money in gambling and finally got power to stop my gambling then entered into trading and started with small profits from small capital and now I guess I have recovered all the losses incurred in gambling.

I can feel your pain and the problems you are going through because of the loss you suffered with trading but believe me for once, your parents are the ONLY ones who care for you, rest everyone is living for themselves and if you tell this story to a stranger you know what they will do?

They will try to get out the remaining 240 euros you mentioned. Such is this world, you can't honestly expect any help from outside to solve inner problems. Please have a big heart and try to confess what has happened to your father and believe me his anger would be only temporary but if you live with the guilt inside, you will feel the pain forever.

Welp, you reap what you sow? It's amazing how you accepted that you lost your trades because of your impulsiveness though. That's already one step forward towards changing for the better. Still, you made one fatal mistake before entering the market. You invested money you couldn't afford to lose. You even made yourself in debt because of it. Yes, BTC has great prospects and gives a lot of opportunities to profit a lot, but really, you don't need to rush it. You can take your time with it with the money you CAN lose.

Still, nice try in trading mate, good luck with whatever you're going to do now. I hope the losses you experienced from here can be avoided in your next venture to wherever.

I can relate with your pain because someone in my close family did something like that, it wasn't trading but it was some land issue through which they made a big amount of loss but the difference between you and him is that he always had a positive intent in life and shared his troubles with his mother because his father was unfortunately paralyzed a few years ago in some accident.

Now what happened once he shared his problem is that his mother gave a hefty amount of money to him by selling some precious items which I don't want to mention here and the money was used to help him setup a business and if you look at him today he is earning well enough to lead a happy life and his mother is overjoyed when she looks back.

My advice to you: Please first of all relax your mind and understand that you are not the only one who makes mistake, we all do and your intent was right it was not like you spent money on drugs so have the courage and share your problems with your father/mother.

The problem so far before doing trade :

• Did explain well to your dad about the risked trading/investment at crypto or other investment, you should explain first the risk if he accepts that then no need to worry. You just explained to your dad in the wrong perception at the beginning, tell him a promise will be rich and other stuff like that without explained him about the risk.
• Loans for the trader, now the biggest issue you taking the loans for trading purpose. It's not a good option for me, using the money of a loan with your own free money there have some different its about the psychology went doing a trade. Using free money you can more relax than using the money of a loan if you ask me did i lose a thousand dollars in crypto? I answer it yes, but most of my lose from my passive income working at the internet never spend my own money from my pocket. I also have story at 2017, buying some coins with 0.06 BTC (600-800 USD) still holding right and now the value 20-30$ but i don't give a shit about that. Just always thinking, because not spend it from my own pocket so don't really care and always see the positive mindset at least i already got a lot profit too trading & working as passive income at here.

The suggestion from me.
You should take a rest try to resolve to relax your mind first if you already have a good mood you should thinking to resolve your problem with your dad. I think you should talk the truth with your father, keeping him lie about that it's not really good just to make you more stressful.

Goodluck to solve your problem.

This post is more for me and closure rather than it is for you to read. Although, if you do read it and gain a lesson from my experience, good for you. I dont have the balls to tell my family. Not sure I've come to terms with what I've done. Hopefully writing this post and knowing its "out there" will help begin processing it.

Well. Here i am. 28K in the hole, 240 euros left after 2 years of trading. 10k in bank loans. 18k investment from my father. "Bitcoin is going to be the best thing dad. I can trade it up for us. This time next year, we will be millionaires. I'll make you proud. I'll make you enough money to retire" Fuck!!! I've completely fucked that up!! And here I am still lying, still telling him it is doing great. Not even sure where to begin in telling him.

 I was so adamant i was a good trader. I could be one of the best. I got my wins. They were great but my losses far out weighted my wins. My trades from where I won were pure setups. I had been watching the market. I had been studying technical analysis for hours every day. Each time a set up came which had a higher probability to win than lose, I'd trade it and win. I'd take my profits. I'd close my trade. Great....

5 minutes later I'm back in a trade, the same amount of contracts not knowing where the fuck price was going but I just had to have a trade open. I had to be in the game. I couldn't sit on the sidelines.

Each and every god damn time. I'd have a good win, I'd lose all the profits  and and cut deeper into my account not only losing profits but jesus.. 5 - 10% of my account value. For instance, recently I push my account back from 0.43 to 0.65 in a single trade. Quite literally 24 hrs later, I'm down to 0.32. Half. I halved my account in less than 24 hrs just taking stupid trades. Wiping all profits and more. Oh btw, you idiot (referring to myself) this is after injecting another 8k on the 11th of Feb bringing my total up to 28k in debt.

What's the lesson here. Wait for your setup. Get in. Get out. And sit to wait for the next, not win and jump back in random fucking trades killing yourself.

I already suffer from mental health issues. This whole situation is taking its toll. Tomorrow is my kids joint birthday and here is daddy writing this post with scary thoughts running though his head ( i go through spirals of it - they get worse with trading).

Dad. Not sure if I will be ever able to pay you back. I'm done with trading though. Turns out it's not for me. I do believe bitcoin is going to do great things and there is money to be made but as for me, your son, you are better off buying it and holding it spot for a few years. Youd be up 3 ish bitcoin by now not 0.03.

To my family. I'm sorry that I have failed on one of the biggest financial opportunities of a life time. Being the emotional person I am the remorse and horror I feel having not been able to give you what you all deserve as a reward from it is one if my single greatest demons and regrets.

You see. I can trade to a certain degree but given my emotional state and addictive personality, any wins I got, i lost based on impulsive and emotional trading, the need for always being in a trade to get that release of dopamine and financial gain.

Anyone of tells you the market is a losers game or no one successes at it, they are wrong but its does take a certain emotional control for it to not become gambling.

I dont know if I can ever pay this money back. I dont know if I can ever tell you all but it will all come out when it's all over the news and everyone's talking about it at 78k per coin and we dont  have a single thing to show. Will I be there to tell ye, who knows.

My message to anyone who does read this. If you are trading profitable, great but do everything in your power to keep those gains. Trade once, gain and sit on hands for weeks  For those who are making losses more so than gains, quit. Dont dig down to an umclimbable hole. Cut the emotional attachment. Simply cut the bullshit.

I do hope that writing this will help me get closure and aid in coming out to those I need to with what I have done. And maybe someone on here will learn something.

But for me. This is it. The end of a post. End of my bitcointalk journey. My first journal entry on trading. My last journal entry too. I wish you all the best. And if you can, wish me luck on resolving all this and holding my mental health and thoughts at bay.

Theguywholost.

** Update to you all **

Wow. Really did not expect this kind of response from anyone. This has me taken back a little to be honest, reading through all the comments. I didnt think I'd log back in here but I'm glad I did. Guys really, thank you all ever so much for the advice above, i spoke with a friend and he advised some of the same many of you all mentioned.

As an update on my dad. I have yet develop the courage to tell him. I know I will in time but it will take some time. The unconditional love and care he has for me, as I have for him, will get us both through it I believe. He has always been there for me through all my teenage mishaps and never once turn his back on me. I say this, as most would but I do have the greatest dad in the world. Just hope i can be as too as his son.

As for me personally, my health took more of a toll on me from stress of all this than I ever expected. My mental health is somewhat healing for now but... about 2 weeks after posting this, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The trading failing, mental health state and this cancer crap all came in one big box, everything hopping out one after the other over a period of weeks. I firmly believe the stress of all this, that I put myself through was the trigger for it. And now given my financial status, we are going to struggle to meet the fucking healthcare I will need. Even if I can fucking get it at all. My country doesn't have healthcare. It all costs mega.

So now, I could potentially have ended my own life my losing all this money I'm sure my dad would have used to help me. The fucking god damn irony of it all makes me want to vomit.

I dont know if there is anyone out there. Anyone who was read this who would help me out. I'm going to leave a bitcoin address here. I am not expecting anything as this is karma I guess but maybe I've done something good in my life which may turn around to help me now. They do say karma is a bitch and maybe it ends that way. Who the fuck knows.

Guys. Again. Thank you all so so much for the comments ye left. Trading may be a hard and cruel but what many of ye said above shows that their is really good people out there.

Thanks.

TheGuyWhoLost

1G1DDZu5A7uEvhf7eh7a7qao76vur88BCj

(Someone in the comments below posted concern on the potential of this being a scam. I explain above I do not expect anything but am leaving address in hope. I do not want to be associated with scams therefore posting some proof, as the commenter requested, in form of a letter from my GP to employer  https://ibb.co/hxNBXwj )