Nothing Token
You get nothing. You lose.
Each year hundreds of ICOs are started. People wait weeks - in some cases months - to receive the associated crowd sale tokens only for them to stagnate in value. These poor patrons are left holding coins for months or even years. Nothing Token is (not so) different in that it is a completely transparent ICO. It is worth nothing. It solves no problems. Operating on Proof-of-Uselessness technology, it guarantees 100% valuelessness.
The Proof of Uselessness Consensus
The Proof-of-Uselessness Mechanism is an advanced algorithm that allows for the instant transaction of Nothing Token over the Ethereum Network. It is 40000x faster than any other blockchain. It was developed by me and Satoshi Nakamoto himself. It is better than Bitcoin, Litecoin, Ethereum, Stellar, and NEO combined. It is about to change the world.
Wow! That sounds amazing! Where can I read more? Is there a whitepaper?
If I were to release the details about how Nothing Token functions, the world may never be the same. For this reason, the whitepaper must remain top-secret. 
Story
It came in a vision.... A reverie... A message from worlds not our own...
One fine day anon wanted to purchase an HTC Vive (even though there are no good VR games). Realising he had not the expenses to purchase one, he elected to beg for money in the form of an ICO. Two hours later Nothing Token was born.
Team
Anon
Creator of Nothing Token
Some say he's a savant. Some think he's a hermit deep in the woods, or a hacker data mining from off the grid. Others speculate that he may be an alien, or an interdimensional being not of this world. Most assume he's a guy in his mother's basement. No one knows for sure.
Creator of Nothing Token
Some say he's a savant. Some think he's a hermit deep in the woods, or a hacker data mining from off the grid. Others speculate that he may be an alien, or an interdimensional being not of this world. Most assume he's a guy in his mother's basement. No one knows for sure.
1 ETH = 1,000,000 Nothing Tokens
FAQ
What does Nothing Token do? What problems does it solve?
Nothing Token solves zero problems. It cannot serve as a viable method of payment for goods and services. It does not offer innovative, premier technologies. Its value is fleeting, its use case unproven, and its function nonexistent. It should not be bought, sold, traded, or gifted. It cannot be touched, tasted, heard, smelled, or experienced through extrasensory perception known or unknown. It cannot be ignited with a butane torch, locked in a safe, buried, or exhumed. It is untested, unaudited, and unsecured. Its code is not unique and its website is plagiarised.
A paperweight and a Magikarp both have more use than a nothing token.
Will Nothing Token be listed on exchanges?
I sure hope not! Exchanging Nothing Token is like exchanging nothing at all. Trading them would be a huge waste of time!
Should I buy Nothing Token?
Absolutley not. It does nothing.
Will refunds be available?
Unlikely. If I get any funding from this crowd sale, I will probably be too busy eating the pizza bought from the proceeds to bother refunding patrons. You can come over and eat it with me, though. We can watch DragonBall Z and Breaking Bad.
How could you possibly do this?
I think the better question is, how couldn't I do this? Why shouldn't I do this? If the potato salad and uetoken guy could do it, then I sure can... right?
This is a joke right.
Only if you want it to be.
I've seen this done before... What makes Nothing Token different?
Nothing.
Other than Nothing Token, what is the best Alt-coin?
Probably NEO.
Where can I participate in the Nothing Token ICO?
I've decided not to buy any Nothing Tokens. What should I do instead?