Missing Pirate? Need more "investment" material? Well, you're in luck! I am now offering
guaranteed and
insured −7%/week interest on deposits (
Fees apply. See below.). So, how does it work? Simply send money to
1P5Wyd1dXcDoWvLoWAstwdfGbqVph6DWtN, and you will get 93% of it back in a week.
Guaranteed!But how? Well, the trading strategy I employ is top secret, but I can assure you, it is not a Ponzi scheme. Nor does it have anything to do with money laundering. Given this amazing never-before-tried strategy, better than even Pirate himself did, what are you waiting for? Deposit now!
Did I mention that this is
fully insured? If for some reason I don't pay up, I will pay the debt for myself! No risk, negative reward, what are you waiting for?
Fees: An initial fee of 100 BTC is deducted to pay for management of this service.Edit: Due to high demand,
We now allow specialized Anti-Pirate accounts! Screwed by Pirate? Don't think you're getting your money back? Wish you could rewind time?
Well now you can!Instead of Pirate's 7% per week interest, we offered −7% per week interest. But keen mathematical minds here will realize this doesn't exactly rollback Pirate's endeavor! So now we offer alternate accounts with −6.5420561% per week interest. This is set up so that one week of Pirate plus one week of antipirate is
exactly 0 weeks of pirate! In other words, reverse Pirate with Anti-pirate! Don't miss your chance!
Invest now! 
