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Topic: BFF problems (Read 316 times)

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Life is a taxable event
June 11, 2014, 06:14:03 PM
#1
She is very attractive to me and because of some not-so-platonic things we've been doing she thought I liked her more as a partner than a friend. We are very close. I am incapable of a relationship right now and she knows it so I'm not going to get into anything and if that means a little less intimacy I don't really care.

I don't know if I can remain her friend because of this. Last night after we discussed this I ended on a note about not knowing if we can still be friends. She texted me a few times telling me that she honestly loves me and that she was being kind of jerkish and that I've been good for her life and things along those lines and asking me to answer the phone (my phone was out so I got those messages after charging it a little). She even texted my mother (she has her number cause I had to call her from that phone a few times) that she had to speak to me and that it was important.

I couldn't manage talking to her then (the prospect of losing my best friend brought my food back up, even though that never happens to me usually) and there so I texted back that I'm the jerk and to talk at a later time.

I'm bipolar and a little weird so I don't hang out with anyone anymore (especially since I moved to the US, in Florida) so I'm not really able to deal with much. I know that there is no way that I can remain her friend that we won't fall for each other but being who I am right now, I can't do it. If we remain friends it's very likely we'll both be miserable.

I also feel a little guilty because as long as we've been friends (over a year) she hasn't had sex with anyone. I've been very clear that we're not going to do anything together and that I'm not going to be jealous if she goes out with someone. I must have mentioned platonic more than I'd like.

I don't want to lose the only friend that I'm really connected to in the recent past but I know that if we stick together it's going to be 12-16 months at the very least until I stand on my own to feet and until then we'd probably suffer. She lives on an apartment very far away and I live with my parents. Neither of us has a car at the moment.

I'm only typing this out because I know other people must have been through something similar.


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