Reddit is full of arrogant, know-it-all, trolling pricks who are lazy jackasses that are ten times more inclined to post when it involves tearing something down, bitching, complaining, moaning, blaming others, or otherwise being negative and accusatory. They hate everyone, they hate everything, and they hate themselves with a terrible fire. But that's nothing in comparison to the hate that they spew toward anyone who resembles them and reminds them of their own terrible failures at life. Everyone is to blame but the Reddit user himself. Conspiracy theories and marathon posts containing spewed chunks of bad, unsupported arguments run rampant. It's like usenet in the heyday of AOL, but entirely worthless. Welcome to the uselessnet, where useless people gather to yell at each other in an epic war of shit-throwing monkeys who are caged in a giant zoo of their own design. But they love the cage. The cage, despite being the most foul place on the planet, is comforting. Don't ever leave the cage. Hate everyone inside and outside the cage, but hate, above all, the monkey that escapes the cage. Each new article posted is like throwing a single banana into that cage of rabid monkeys.
The only difference between Reddit and other shit-filled cages on the internet is that Reddit users somehow have better grammar and punctuation. I think it's yet another way for them to feel superior. The most common sentence starter at Reddit is the word, "Actually," followed by telling someone why they're wrong and how they suck.
See, nothing will inspire the wrath of Reddit more than one of these fat, useless nerds who stepped out of his shell for one split second and actually did something productive or interesting. Fear kicks in. All the other fat, useless pseudonerds let their minds churn on how this guy, exactly like them, might be spun to seem like he's actually an asshole. If you doubt me, make two posts with the same inquiry stated two different ways. In one, you ask for help on a computer problem, describing the issue mundanely and accurately. In the second, you describe the same problem but with some additional information: hint at your successes and mention how this problem will help you do something productive. For example, say that the computer that needs repair is in a free clinic that you volunteer at.
Misspell some tech-related words and make a few small but irritating grammatical errors. Include smileys and generally act cheerful and happy with life and yourself. Be sure to accidentally insult several groups of people by declaring the problem is probably too difficult to solve and you might have to ask on another website. Otherwise, open yourself up for personal attacks. You don't even need to include this bait in the post itself, just make a profile with a lot of bait, such as how you're fat but working out and recently lost lots of weight through months of hard work. Post a picture of a hot girlfriend. Don't worry. The internet detectives at Reddit will find this crap in an effort to seek ammo with which to ruin you.
The first post might get one reply: a bored request for clarification and for you to post logs or some shit, but with no actual help provided. The second one will have hundreds of replies, most of them yelling at you like children, but where they actually will have somehow solved your problem because doing so was simply a way for them to prove how dumb you are.
In other words, Reddit is thousands of Me's. Why would I want to deal with thousands of Me's?
Holy shit I love this post, especially this:
Conspiracy theories and marathon posts containing spewed chunks of bad, unsupported arguments run rampant. It's like usenet in the heyday of AOL, but entirely worthless. Welcome to the uselessnet, where useless people gather to yell at each other in an epic war of shit-throwing monkeys who are caged in a giant zoo of their own design. But they love the cage. The cage, despite being the most foul place on the planet, is comforting. Don't ever leave the cage. Hate everyone inside and outside the cage, but hate, above all, the monkey that escapes the cage. Each new article posted is like throwing a single banana into that cage of rabid monkeys.
*Sees a girl wearing shit-cage t-shirt*
*makes unoriginal and bland "narwhal/bacon" comment to her"
*Gets a odd state*
*Posts a complaint on Shitcaged.com/r/memeswevekilled complaining about interaction which gets boosted to front page*
*Throws a couple misogynistic and racist comments on the page for good measure. Dumb whores shouldn't represent 'our' community*