Lastly, you people may call this stuff whiny or what not, but this is what most people will deal with when shopping with bitcoins.
Everything you say is more or less valid. It's certainly not whiny, it's real world and the stuff we should care about.
However Credit Cards are not really ecommerce friendly either. Payments can be revoked later leaving the merchant out of pocket. This happens all the time.
Bank transfers are not ecommerce friendly either. The merchant might just keep the money and send nothing. Same with cash, checks, or money orders.
Escrow seems the best system to fix these issues, however that relies on the party handling the escrow to be trustworthy, helpful, and impartial during disputes. It should be possible to deposit some BitCoins with an escrow service in advance of making the trade so that transaction delays don't occur.
Credit cards are friendly for the buyers if they know their chargeback rights. But a lot of them don't and get scammed and those that know will abuse them and claim the card was stolen after a "friendly fraud" shopping spree with everything delivered to their home and the bank.
I had a merchant account and I've proven stuff delivered to the buyer's home in their name, sometimes even with their signature and the banks just decide in favor of the "friendly fraud" buyer. And then when I have basically no evidence at all, and merely by writing an angry letter about how all people who file chargebacks are scammers, the bank filed in my favor. Then I kept writing angry letters each time and winning. But I got out of that business to do something else.
Umm anyway, credit cards are easy for buyers and well it doesn't matter for sellers because they'll sell stuff if there's buyers. Look at eBay.
Echecks are kinda funny because they only let people dispute for unauthorized so scammers can file disputes but not people who were ripped off.
As for escrow, we only need something that simply makes sure the seller shipped something to the buyer. If you do a "not as described", nobody can prove anything unless you video tape the packing and dropping off at the post office, or else if the weight on the package is way too light. And this tracking requirement can be done really easily and cheaply. You just need to pay miners some transaction fee to check, basically make them enter the zip code if it's delivered or "0" if not delivered and all 10 people must have it match the zip code for it to be good. The only problem is when the post office screws up and enters a zip code 2 digits off.