Topic: Charlie's Guide to Successful Alcohol Abuse (Read 689 times)

No. You can buy less expensive booze, get less drunk so it will cause less aftereffects. It is like Drive Lamborghini, expensive cars are less likely to be involved in accidents Of course, because I would not be able to afford a much gas for Lambo V12 engine

I prefer just to eat normal food in small quantity. If your stomach is full like aquarium, any foreign objects floating in stomach and tickling the walls can cause eruption.

I switch to even more bottles of beer.

This is unnecessary and wasteful ritual, but it usually happens in taxi.

Right before bed I overdose on even more beer and vodka. Overdosing on water is unnecessary and can result in wet bed. Just have bottle of water or high-quality weak beer nearby if you need it.

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>Charlie's Guide to Successful Alcohol Abuse

I approve

All pretty good advice, though I can't advocate inducing vomit... but if it happens, let it happen.

A hangover is a dehydrated brain. Drinking plenty of water really is the best thing you can do to prevent it. Alternate your booze with water. Not only will it save you money, but it will save your head in the morning. The megadose of vitamins isn't a bad idea, either.

Water is the answer.

I prepare for Tuesday morning...

Surefire Hangover Remedy:  Ethanol is a poisonous toxin.  Don't drink it fool.

Barring that strategy, below is my recipe for properly abusing alcohol.

* Drink expensive booze.  Cheap stuff really does cause worse hangovers.  You deserve better.

* Eat while you drink, preferably fatty foods.

* Toward the end of the night, switch to drinking water.

* When you get home, vomit if possible. Perform the "toothbrush tickle".

* Right before bed, overdose on vitamin B12, vitamin C, and water.  I'm talking 5,000 units of each, and forcing down at least two or three bottles of water.  I prefer liquid B-complex.  The water is essential.  It really what makes all the difference.

If you remember nothing else, remember to stand in your kitchen and swill water until you can't hold any more before staggering to bed.

The last two years I intended to get drunk on New Year's Eve but chickened out and abused opiates instead.  People say I'm far less obnoxious on narcotics than ethanol.  Probably true.  I recall that on pharmaceuticals I wake up with more money in my pocket and fewer apologetic phone calls to make.

I could stay home Monday night and watch sci-fi movies, but preventing the beautiful women of the world from enjoying my dancing abilities would be a sin. Their husbands won't dance with them, so I must. This is my cosmic burden.  C'est la vie.