in America specifically its a right mess
SEC class crypto as a security
FinCen class crypto as a currency
CFTC (commodity futures trading commission) class it as a commodity
IRS class it as a property
Some of these can overlap yes, but not all
The SEC has not classified crypto as a security, it has only said that in certain cases, the way a crypto asset is distributed may implicate securities laws (mainly, for ICOs). The CFTC considers digital currencies as commodities under the Commodity Exchange Act, and has jurisdiction when it is used in a derivatives contract or when there is fraud in interstate commerce. The IRS classifies Bitcoin as property, but you may owe capital gains taxes as well as income taxes on taxable events.
More importantly, these definitions are not mutually exclusive, so just because one regulator claims jurisdiction over one aspect of crypto doesn't mean that it makes no sense for others to as well. It's not really all that complicated. Most of the things average people will do with Bitcoin won't involve any regulatory agency other than the IRS. You're likely not trading derivatives, not selling ICO securities, and probably shouldn't be doing anything that involves FinCEN. It's not as bad as you made it sound.