If we strip out the all the sarcasm and take a look at the actual arguments in that post:
like that the slower transaction speeds
The problem with this argument is that bitcoin is being held to a higher standard than literally every other payment method, and then is being denigrated when it fails to meet those standards. Bitcoin transactions can be seen immediately, the merchant can spend the funds immediately, and they are reversible (with difficulty) for somewhere in the region of 10-60 minutes, depending on the fee paid and the mempool. Compare that to credit cards, the most common electronic payment method. The payment can be seen immediately, the merchant cannot spend the funds for 3-5 working days, and they are reversible (extremely easily) for somewhere in the region of 180 days. People mistakenly think credit card transactions are "instant" because they show up on their mobile app or on the merchant's terminal instantly, whereas in reality this is just the same as broadcasting an unconfirmed bitcoin transaction - it is not finalized by any means. The difference is bitcoin
is finalized within an hour, whereas credit card transaction can be reversed for 6 months. The same is true of PayPal, Google Pay, Apple Pay, whatever.
and the expensive fees
All the payment methods I've just mentioned above also include fees, and often far more than bitcoin transaction fees. The difference here is that the merchant pays them (and they are therefore reflected in the price of the good or service being bought), and so the individual mistakenly views these payment methods as "free". I'll obviously concede that at times the mempool can become full and expensive, and that's where Lightning steps in, effectively allowing you to pay a fee to open a channel when the mempool is empty and cheap, and then make your future purchases instantly and with no fees.
go to a Gazillion dollars probably maybe hopefully
Not sure why this is an argument at all? I'd much rather that than the constant (and accelerating) devaluation of my fiat.
and Bitcoin can only do 7
Lightning and channel factories solves this.
13 years is a really really short period of time in the tech world, where innovation is notoriously slow
Bitcoin isn't just some new piece of software. It is an entire industry, an entire sector, something never seen before, built from the ground up. ARPANET was first operational in 1969. 13 years later it was 1982. You tell me how the internet was doing in 1982. Might as well just have abandoned the whole thing there and then, right?