Topic: [Discussion] Family decision towards kids upbringing. (Read 113 times)

I frequent times I have seen alot of people complain of how poor parents bring up their kids now and it's as a result of the feminism that as taken the hearts of many women that they took deserve the right to work and make a good living, the part of them have a good job is not a problem but where it lays it where the children gets a mistreatment because both parents are away when the children needs them most. It will be nice that mothers keep good eyes on their children to observe and train them in the right ways.

Most of the roles of parents has been shifted from the father and mother to teachers in school where they only dump the children from morning till night then they pick them up tired and stressed at the end they might not even look at the children to observe them very well, the consequences of this is that children might ended up believing that they are not loved or if they got a nanny they tend to lean or the nannies more than their children.

The family financial and work life should balanced ant that's the only way to cope with this current societal problem.

I mean, I don't think a child will end up necessarily bad, because he ended up having less quality time with his parents than he could have spend with them. In my opinion, it is already very outstanding both parents of one child have decided to work together towards building a better future for all of them.
To be honest with you, that approach of making both parents, specially women to spend time with their children makes me think of some old fashioned ways of thinking some people have in countries going through development.

This approach which those parents have is still infinitely better than others have: having a lot of children who they cannot properly raise and provide food, shelter and education to. If you asked me on which position I would rather to be in, I would prefer to be working in a good position and improving the financial status of the family, rather than being trapped with a lot of mouths to feed and little to no resources.

It is now popular for families to send children to creches at a very tender age because they are busy making money. I don't blame them sometimes because of the harsh economic conditions most nations are going through. It is now very difficult for the income of one spouse to sustain the family. This has put more pressure on the family to leave the children in the custody of minders and teachers. However, parents should know that childraising is not just providing the financial or physical needs of the children because good morale and character are more important. Securing an online job is a good option but it is not all mothers that have the relevant skills to secure these remote jobs. Self-employment could be another good option for mothers since they can be able to determine their work schedule.

For the men, I think they should spend any free time they have with the family. It is common to see fathers hanging out with friends in clubs or bars instead of going home to stay with their children. Before they get home, the children have gone to bed and they will leave for work early before these kids wake up. They end up knowing nothing about these kids and the children also lack knowledge of their father. Fathers should play a major part in the upbringing of the children, hence they shouldn't transfer these tasks to the mother or nannies.

IMO the most important thing is to be there for your child.

The way most families work is that children are left with nannies, or grandparents and both parents work their assess off. The child doesn't see them for most of the day, then they come back in the late afternoon or evening and bark at each other because they're so tired that children having fun and running around the house are too much for them. Overworked parents have no patience left in them and they punish children for being children. That's how the child learns to avoid parents, not to trust them. It learns that it has to be very quiet and that parents like to scream at each other and their children.

This is very different to how children used to grow up in old households, helping parents in their work. When a father had a business, like a store for instance, the child would start helping there at early age. It would work, but also be next to a parent all the time. It wouldn't be left alone with a nanny to watch over. It would be able to talk to a parent all day, building a bond.

When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it literally is true that it's not just the father and mother but all the rest in the village that will need to be observed by the kid to learn in life. Although their father and mother don't have much time for their kids, it's best that they at least find time even just an hour before the kid sleeps.
 

If that's your proposal then government should deposit the salary for both mom and dad same as they are earning so they will be happy to spend time with their kids as long as they don't worry about financial needs. Is it possible?

Nope, so we have to see things in practical way too and not everyone can't afford to take breaks to make time for their kids.

I agree with you.
Some parents forget the implications of not being available for their kids and not knowing when the kids even need them.
This kid, if not given attention, might feel unloved and might not really be able to sustain the wealth that they have built for themselves. 
Children need parental care, and the nannies can't give them all that.
I dislike some of these things because of how the kids grow; some get abused, molested, or mistreated by their so-called nannies.
But because they have no parent-child relationship, they might not be able to speak up. 
They should be able to balance themselves, to know all about the kids, and to help them discover themselves very well. 
Attend their school meetings to know when your child has been bullied and to resolve it. Create play time with them; let them feel love from home; it will help their social life. 

If the foundation is strong, then there is nothing to get scared of, this has to begin with the way the father and the mother are both living together, if there is peace in their marriage, then such will extends to the children they are raising with concession, but we cant expect the family that is challenged with many things to have what it takes to live together in peace when the both parents are doing things on their own, how do you expect such to reflect in the life of their children.

everything is all about creating the right balance. If you're focused on job and neglect taking care of your children as a man, you've failed big time in your responsibility and if you're not matured enough to know that you've got to be responsible for ensuring that the family never faces any financial challenges that deprive them of basic things that money should sort out, then you've missed it big.

I don't believe that child's upbringing should be a one sided thing maybe it's because I'm a product of a broken home where my parents didn't give me the expected emotional support I had wanted as a little boy that's just growing up and i had to rely more on myself for all the comfort i needed while growing up which had a negative effect on me and I wouldn't want my child to pass through those kind of thing. Mother's are better at taking care of children and that's how mature designs it but the father should also be available for both security and the emotional support of the child's upbringing. So yeah, I agree that a child's upbringing should necessarily be a 70% to 30% thing such that the dad in addition to providing for the family is also available to provide at least 30% of the child's emotional need.

This is not wrong but it has to be balanced. Two parents can't work into the night, it is when you have parents who work into the night then the kids will definitely be nothing equal to useless except with God's grace that one of them can excape being stupid and useless. So parents should be able to balance their activities in the home. One of them should be making himself or herself available after school hour to pick the kids up and take care of them afterwards from school. Being financially okay is good but not to the detriment of the children because if they turn vagabonds it means that home won't have much to be reckoned with.

In regards to how society has made women believe they are more supportive of their men and work to be productive financially,.
I believe women should be at least 70% involved in the grooming of kids.
At least their work should be regulated to give the kids more space.
Maybe working at home will add to the office work. Men should also create time for the kids, but basically, women should be available.
 
I came across some wealthy homes when both parents were running this productive financial race to give the kids the best life. In this process, they do not have the attention of the kids as much as they should, and kids grow up with different nannies that has different impact and this impact is usually negative hence such a kid might end up being corrupt.