Retirement should be a time to enjoy our remaining days and reminisce and cherish the memory of our younger selves, but unfortunately, some go back to the things they enjoyed in their younger days. One of these is gambling, and since money is not a problem for a pensioner, winning and losing are not a problem, so when he wins, that means a celebration with friends and bettors to boast his gambling adventure.
This happens with retirees, so it is better that when a person retires, he has something to do with his wife or loved ones, and it should not be gambling, he may enjoy his retiring days by gambling, but it will take a toil in his health that will have a bad effect in the family
Thank you to all who participated in this discussion. We are locking this thread, and we are moving to the next discussion.
Topic: Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling (Read 309 times)
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
Nothing of such. It is really a bad situation for someone's family to wish them to lose in gambling. That means the wish of bad luck in life because winning is progressing and losing is a set back. In the instant matter in discussion, I think that the wife should look for another means to make his husband responsible either by calling his family to the matter. But if she can't stop him on that then she should allow him since he is not making loses but profiting. It is better to make profit than loses and that is what he use in taking care of her and the family, if he stop gambling maybe such money or income may also seize to come. So which does she prefer
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners.
Declining or avoiding to drink with him only is not the solution. The friends can help to advise him against unnecessary drinking and spending but to save those money coming to him.
Maybe for some wives, they don't like seeing how their husbands are involved in gambling again and gambling away money that he should use for more important needs. Moreover, in the case you mentioned, they are both retired, meaning they are old and should enjoy more time together, their husband should no longer be involved in gambling, especially cockfighting gambling. And as far as I know, cockfighting is quite dangerous gambling because it is in an environment that is not conducive, and we don't know what situations might occur. And he always drinks and has fun with his friends after winning - who wouldn't be irritated to see conditions like this. That's why it's quite reasonable if his wife is quite annoyed to see what her husband is doing.
Your neighbor's husband is an alcoholic, and gambling has nothing to do with it. Even if you completely remove gambling from his life, he will find a reason to drink alcohol. This is a disease that causes addiction, and here two passions come together. A passion for alcohol and a passion for gaming is quite a nuclear combination. I sincerely feel sorry for women whose husbands become alcoholics, and if there are no close people with such a person, then in the end the matter will have a very disastrous outcome.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
We won't actually put it this way, as it sounds somehow like our loved ones kind of dislikes or is being jealous when we make wins. Well, if they actually care for you so much then they might go to the extreme to make sure you are safe and fine. From your story, the man's wife was literally looking out for him as he may be harming himself with his winnings celebrations. As his wife she cares for him and is also Happy about his wins but it seems that he gets too excited about them.I'll just suggest you guys as his friends not leave him after his win. Join him in his celebration but find something else for him to celebrate with instead of drinking. It can be food and soft drinks with good quality. Though as a gambler after most of our wins we just want to get the fun of it.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
I think if a husband indulges in many vices starting from gambling, a good wife is enough to bring him back from them. Because a man can easily be destroyed by a woman if she wants to and can turn him from bad to good. So I think if one has a good wife then that person can never indulge in bad deeds because his wife will always try to keep him away from bad deeds.
Does that include praying for their failure?
Like I mentioned before, there are several ways to achieve this and choosing for someone to fail so that they’ll look your way shouldn’t be an option for you [unless you want to somehow repay them what they have lost and were supposed to win] - she could have spoken with those friends and let them know that the drinking was becoming excessive and they should help her talk to her husband if he could reduce it, that’s one option.
Another is to confront her husband, and tell him face on that she does not like the behavior and let him see the reason why - if he’s a good husband he’ll try his best to reduce it or perhaps even stop it completely for the sake of his wife. Those are far better options than praying her husband does not win so that he won’t see money to buy his drinks if he fails to win after several tries he’ll only turn to his pension money and start using from there to buy those drinks.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
I think if a husband indulges in many vices starting from gambling, a good wife is enough to bring him back from them. Because a man can easily be destroyed by a woman if she wants to and can turn him from bad to good. So I think if one has a good wife then that person can never indulge in bad deeds because his wife will always try to keep him away from bad deeds.
This is hard.
We know that drinking and gambling for retired people are bad because their body are more vulnerable, drinking would affect their stomach, liver, kidney etc, while gambling could make them get heart attack due to adrenaline rush.
But, retirement is when people enjoying the rest of their life right? if they happy with this decision, isn't we're taking their happiness?
Only his wife can limit him, they both need to communicate this problem instead of asking other people help.
We know that drinking and gambling for retired people are bad because their body are more vulnerable, drinking would affect their stomach, liver, kidney etc, while gambling could make them get heart attack due to adrenaline rush.
But, retirement is when people enjoying the rest of their life right? if they happy with this decision, isn't we're taking their happiness?
Only his wife can limit him, they both need to communicate this problem instead of asking other people help.
Philippines right? 
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
This is inevitable when you marry a gambling addict. Even if you curse him and do everything to make him stop, he will still find ways to gamble secretly. And you will only find out once he lose all his pension. Just like those who’s slave for cigarettes, they will only stop until their health is at stake.This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
The best thing a wife can do is just to talk to his husband heart to heart. He can enjoy his money but not to the extent of putting his wife miserable in life. Gambling is really entertaining if you know how to play and manage your funds, but if you end up abusing not just your funds but your health as well, I’m sure everything will end up in a worst scenario.
I wonder what she was thinking when she asked you to help her make his husband lose, I mean how would that work.
OP did mention that the husband gambles through horse racing and cockfighting, so I assume OP could encourage him to take the bad horses and make him lose that way.I also agree with the others, that it's more about the husband's drinking problem and way of spending his winnings because even if he doesn't win his bets it can become a coping mechanism in the future.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
This is my first time hearing about this kind of situation so no, and hoping for someone to lose their bets is probably the least thing i'd do when there are other solutions to tackle the problem. 
I don't have anyone who would wish me no luck with gambling, actually, in the most of occasions people does not have a problem with their loved ones having some extra money which they happened to have won from gambling, the issue it is mostly about the gambling itself, the personal wager ones has or the fact luck is not on the side of the person and ends up losing money.
In the particular case of your neighbor, I believe it would be easier for the whole household if he did not have the custom to host those drinking sprees after his wins.
To me, this sounds nothing like a gambling problem, but rather like a drinking/health problem instead.
Based on what you say in your story, his wife would be perfectly fine with him continuing to gamble as long as he stops the alcohol consumption.
In the particular case of your neighbor, I believe it would be easier for the whole household if he did not have the custom to host those drinking sprees after his wins.
To me, this sounds nothing like a gambling problem, but rather like a drinking/health problem instead.
Based on what you say in your story, his wife would be perfectly fine with him continuing to gamble as long as he stops the alcohol consumption.
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Doesnt look like a gambling problem just a drinking problem. Have they done a medical checkup to see if the husbands drinking is giving him any health problems? I know its generally bad to drink but if the husband can't be advised might as well get professional advise from a doctor instead.As for my situation I don't really. My family knows and they're fine with it as long as I can be responsible financially. Personally if it was that bad of an influence then I'd stop but so far it hasn't been really.
Everyone should be happy if someone wins in gambling because it won't happen on a daily basis to anyone of us, it is by our luck. However in this case, it is not gambling which is the problem but the drinking spree or act of celebration by the husband, and if it bothers the wife then the right actions to be taaken is for her to tell it directly. For sure she did already but what's needed is for her to get her husband's attention and that would be on her end and not involving other people who were just invited. Some people would think it would be rude to reject an invitation right? So again, it should be between the couple. Not on their shoes but if the husband will insist of still doing so despite of the risk then maybe that's just how he want to spend the remaining years of his life.
The wife of your neighbor isn't sad that her husband won simply because of what her husband does after every win. If he does something different with his gambling winnings other than drinking parties with friends, I'm very sure her stance about his gambling endeavors will change. She's mad about it because his gambling wins acts as catalyst to fuel the drinking parties. I rarely see families that are unhappy when a member of their family wins — gambling or not. It's only a problem when you gamble and do not win. If your neighbor changes what he does after winning, maybe spend most of it for family especially with his wife, watch her stance about gambling change real fast.
My uncle used to get mad at me when I gambled. But he was an old school person. Because he believed in some superstitions, he said that evil spirits would affect my life when I gambled. I didn't care about him at first. But then I saw that he was upset and I kept on gambling, hiding it from him. I think we should make some sacrifices for some people. We can't sacrifice everything for them. But we can make life better for all of us with little things. I continued to gamble in secret from my uncle. My uncle was happy and so was I.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
If the husband is just spending money that he wins from betting, then I will say it's a bit annoying, but to some point, it's also a good thing. At least he is not wasting money on what they could have used for important things in the family; they are just trying to catch fun with what they consider excess. So if she prays that the husband should lose in the game or collaborate with others just to make sure that the husband loses, what makes her think that the husband might not use money that is not meant for other things to spend on their hangout? Currently, he is spending money from gambling winnings. What does she think will happen if the profit is not coming from gambling?
So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
She needs to confront his husband and have a heart-to-heart talk with him regarding his drinking problem. Though in the situation, it seems that they have no money problem but it is about the health issues that her husband can get from his drinking spree. Hence, she wants her husband to lose in gambling so he won't buy alcohol.
That is true, if she will just wish her husband to lose, then, she is not addressing the problem. She should look at the situation why her husband is into drinking. Maybe what she can do to change his mind can be one or two of the following -
> look for other activities that you believe your husband can get his interest of- sports, camping, traveling, hiking
> visit relatives or friends and bring foods, instead of buying alcohol
> try to engage him in regular exercise, this way he will appreciate living a healthy life, and maybe forget alcohol
> look for a community project that you think he wants to contribute, so the extra money that he feels wasting on alcohol can be diverted to projects
Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling
The wife has a genuine reason for wishing him to lose because his health is more important. Heavy alcohol drinking can cause severe health problems. But I don't think wishing him to lose will be the best option. The man needs to be counseled, he needs to know that there are better things to do to with the wins. He should know that spending money on alcohol is a waste of resources since the money can be channeled to more profitable ventures. The wife should contact the children and tell them to speak to their father. There is a religious woman in my area who will always wish his son who is a gambler never wins. She will always rain insults on him and call him a useless child. On a certain day, the boy won big and we expected her to reject the money his son gave to her to support her business. Surprisingly she took the money and used it to stock up her shop. I don't think any reasonable person would wish his family member not to win in gambling.
Some wives can be funny. They can do everything within their power to make their husband desist from any attitude they don't like their husband displaying.
We can call this a jealous act coming from the wife of the husband but we wouldn't like it when someone close to us spends lavishly on things without doing something useful with the money earned.
I don't intend to blame the wife of the man anyway, because she doesn't know the kind of fun and happiness her husband derives when eating and drinking with friends, with the money won from gambling bets.
What I suspect the husband of the wife to do in this scenario is to minimize how he calls out people to celebrate with him and spend the money won from gambling to buy useful things or storekeeper his house with enough cos that's what women want
We can call this a jealous act coming from the wife of the husband but we wouldn't like it when someone close to us spends lavishly on things without doing something useful with the money earned.
I don't intend to blame the wife of the man anyway, because she doesn't know the kind of fun and happiness her husband derives when eating and drinking with friends, with the money won from gambling bets.
What I suspect the husband of the wife to do in this scenario is to minimize how he calls out people to celebrate with him and spend the money won from gambling to buy useful things or storekeeper his house with enough cos that's what women want
First of all I limit who I share my online habits with. Part of the reason I don't go to land based casinos establishments is because I don't want to give people any space to be judgemental. It's really in some people's character and they can't even control themselves when they see you doing something they don't like. So really I prefer letting them live in bliss. It's the best for both sides really.
I wouldn't judge someone unless it was extremely obvious that he was overdoing it. If you are excessive in your judgment I think nobody will listen. I too wouldn't listen to someone crying wolf of the time. So if I know some relative of mine has a bad opinion of gambling ad a whole then why would I even tell them anything?
I wouldn't judge someone unless it was extremely obvious that he was overdoing it. If you are excessive in your judgment I think nobody will listen. I too wouldn't listen to someone crying wolf of the time. So if I know some relative of mine has a bad opinion of gambling ad a whole then why would I even tell them anything?
Looking at her condition, it makes sense because after all, it seems that the wife wanted to give a deterrent effect to her husband because it was difficult to advise him to stop gambling, which they could not control. I think it is the most effective option for her husband to feel remorse for gambling even though the way it is done is very hard but the hope and goal is for good.
This kind of thing should be realized by the husband and can think that the way he is doing it is wrong. indeed no one will be melarng and not wrong either if you really want to gamble, but on the other hand we must know the limits because gambling that makes us forget everything and every time spend walti and money to gamble is actually a very extreme action to do.
This kind of thing should be realized by the husband and can think that the way he is doing it is wrong. indeed no one will be melarng and not wrong either if you really want to gamble, but on the other hand we must know the limits because gambling that makes us forget everything and every time spend walti and money to gamble is actually a very extreme action to do.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
My family reminds me not to engage myself too much in gambling to avoid getting hooked or addicted but they do not wish me to lose whenever I have my gambling session.
I believe the old lady is not lacking in terms of finances and the husband's action irritates her each time he wins. If the old lady is lacking in finances then I do not think she will not want his husband to win, instead, She would be happy to see his husband win because the profit from winning will somehow give them monetary assistance and fill the gap in their financial needs.
I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.
I think that the husband is stubborn, I believe the wife had already told her husband her opinion but the husband just ignored it and continued to do whatever he liked. This is also the reason why the wife asks for help but sadly it will be hard for anyone to intervene on their situation unless the wife addresses the issue in legal way where authority will mediate the situation.
Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
She has good reason to want her husband not to win from gambling because he uses the money for things that are not of any benefit, so there is no need to gamble when he is just endangering himself more with every win. If she wanted the husband to stop gambling even when he uses the money he wins wisely, I could have called it witchcraft.
If I see that winning from gambling is endangering the life of a loved one, I will want them to stop winning so they don't lose their life.
oo familiar, no I had a very similar situation with a friend and his girlfriend. He was very fond of poker and often disappeared in gambling houses at night and of course this annoyed her, but he made amends when he brought the money he won. I think the end of the story is very obvious, he got into large debts and they broke up in the end, and at the same time several friends turned away from him because he did not return the money, now he lives in another country because he had to completely start life from the beginning. This situation is completely like a plot from a movie.
The moral is very simple, don't think only about yourself. Because in the end you will be alone.
The moral is very simple, don't think only about yourself. Because in the end you will be alone.
I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.
My wife knows that I gamble from time to time. Never my gambling hobby bothered anyone. Since it does not harm anyone, does not effect our budget, I doubt that I cause any trouble to anyone. However, if my wife asks to stop or pause, I will stop gambling.
My wife knows that I gamble from time to time. Never my gambling hobby bothered anyone. Since it does not harm anyone, does not effect our budget, I doubt that I cause any trouble to anyone. However, if my wife asks to stop or pause, I will stop gambling.
Correct me if i am wrong but according to story which i read on OP that the wife is not complaining about her husband habit in gambling but the most problem is how does her husband habit when celebrate his gambling winnings which lead her husband to drink late into the night with friends and she starting to worried about her husband health and asking help to the neighbors to give an advices in order to stop his habit
And about OP question so far i can hide my gambling activities with very well to my loved one so she doesn't know about my habit but indeed if she knows about that then most likely she will forbid me to gamble which i don't want it happend however i think the reason for our loved ones doesn't like have a partner who have gambling habit is not because the outcome of gambling itself but in my opinion why they doesn't liked our habit is because they are worried it will have a negative impact on us
And about OP question so far i can hide my gambling activities with very well to my loved one so she doesn't know about my habit but indeed if she knows about that then most likely she will forbid me to gamble which i don't want it happend however i think the reason for our loved ones doesn't like have a partner who have gambling habit is not because the outcome of gambling itself but in my opinion why they doesn't liked our habit is because they are worried it will have a negative impact on us
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
reading your post, it seems like the wife's issue isn't really about her husband winning in gambling but about the husband's drinking spree and partying habit that goes overnight which can really have a negative impact on someone's health(which can be problematic if you ask me).I wonder what she was thinking when she asked you to help her make his husband lose, I mean how would that work.
Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
Fortunately I don't have anyone I love or my close relatives involved in gambling, I myself my family doesn't know I gamble, but for now I don't have anyone like that.However, if there was someone in my family, for example: my father, maybe I wouldn't forbid him if he wanted to do as the OP said, win gambling, whatever the reason, I would allow him to do it once, maybe not the second time, considering he is old, maybe it's time for him to repent for himself, because alcohol and gambling are no longer good for him.
Even with the story I still don’t think it’s right to wish someone failure not for any reason.
I don’t have any love one that’s praying that I lose my bet (they don’t know that I gamble though) but still anyone that wishes you to lose something that you have bet on is not qualified to be called your loved one - there are other means to resolve things not by wanting the other person to fail so that they’ll listen to you.
To me if I discover something like this I’ll definitely distance myself from them.
I don’t have any love one that’s praying that I lose my bet (they don’t know that I gamble though) but still anyone that wishes you to lose something that you have bet on is not qualified to be called your loved one - there are other means to resolve things not by wanting the other person to fail so that they’ll listen to you.
To me if I discover something like this I’ll definitely distance myself from them.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
Maybe it's time for his wife to also find a personal hobby she enjoys by herself or accompanied by her friends, since she is also retired and there aren't children at home anymore. The couple has a lot of free time to enjoy as they wish. The husband is already doing it, as he found in gambling and on his friends the fun he was looking for.Now his wife is annoyed by that due to the fact she isn't living her life. I don't think the husband has to slow down, as he is playing with money he can afford to lose and as long as the parties with friends don't trespass any limits. If this lady keeps asking you to get involved on her husband's hobbies, you should suggest her to find her own hobbies.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
It seems that your story is based on a wife who doesn't like her husband's habit of getting drunk after winning money from gambling, and that is a bad choice, she doesn't dislike her husband gambling but dislikes his drunkenness which will interfere with her husband's health. I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
In my neighborhood may have a different story, there is a friend who is married and indeed in our environment people who gamble are very bad and it is a disgrace for anyone who gambles because gambling is a behavior that is prohibited in the beliefs in my village, his wife asked me to make her husband realize that he likes to gamble because he is so lazy and the money he earns is always more spent on financing his husband's gambling, His wife said she could have thrown her husband away but she loved him very much but his behavior after knowing gambling became a human being who was not useful for his family.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
should it be her concern that the husband is now a drunk or that he's winning? I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
What's happening to the man is that when he has the funds to fuel is drinking urge he does it to the best of his ability and not necessarily that gambling is the main thing. Honestly, this is just what's popular with most men when they have reached the retirement age. They tend to just catch fun and might drink too much whenever they win or succeed at a thing. In my area, because we are host community to a multinational crude oil, most oldem that aren't actively working again but that are just leaning from thier pension would normally come out most evening expecially during weekend to drink to stupor. What would you do in that instance?
Life is a one time journey, some people just want to have as much fun as they feel it's necessary to do when they are becoming too old and when you're depriving them of those little activity, they tend to grow old too fast and might even die before thier time.
I know what the problem is and the possible solution.
The problem is that the man is idle. He has a lot of free time on his hands that he doesn't know ho best to use it. And this is one of the advantages or disadvantages of retirement depending on how you choose to see it. It is like, I have worked my whole life to make money and raise a family. I have successfully done that and don't have any need to work again since money and family is not longer a problem. Retired but not tired and needs to channel that energy into something else.
The solution is for his wife to come up with a business plan that the both of them can venture into. It could be a business or an NGO. That way the man is occupied, his gambling frequencies reduce and so will his friends who comes only to drink. Life or time doesn't exist in a vacuum something must occupy him.
The problem is that the man is idle. He has a lot of free time on his hands that he doesn't know ho best to use it. And this is one of the advantages or disadvantages of retirement depending on how you choose to see it. It is like, I have worked my whole life to make money and raise a family. I have successfully done that and don't have any need to work again since money and family is not longer a problem. Retired but not tired and needs to channel that energy into something else.
The solution is for his wife to come up with a business plan that the both of them can venture into. It could be a business or an NGO. That way the man is occupied, his gambling frequencies reduce and so will his friends who comes only to drink. Life or time doesn't exist in a vacuum something must occupy him.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
This is not something new that people celebrate when every day gets a big win. It should be in moderation in my opinion. Does the husband win every time and then it would be continuously every day they would celebrate?
I don’t think it is frequent so It shouldn’t be a problem. This is more like a situation where married couples should have communication and maybe some compromise should be made.
I don’t want that someone I love stops me from something that I love to do Unless she makes me realize that it’s really affecting me negatively.
I don’t think it is frequent so It shouldn’t be a problem. This is more like a situation where married couples should have communication and maybe some compromise should be made.
I don’t want that someone I love stops me from something that I love to do Unless she makes me realize that it’s really affecting me negatively.
I lose, how would you expect or wish for your loved one to fail at what his good at. If drinking is really the problem, I guess she should be by his side in all those moments, trying to control how often he drinks and when they retire to their bedroom, she cautions him on how the drinking could have a negative impact on his health and their relationship. How it’s affecting the way she feels about his new found habit.
Even though the man doesn’t stop entirely, he would reduce the way he drinks, especially when the wife is around to keep those eye contacts when ever he holds the bottle.
Should he start loosing, I bet ya, it would t help his health as well. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to afford them drinks but, hypertension would build.
I don’t have such neighbor and wouldn’t want to be such neighbor anyway.
I see this as a case of double addiction: drunkeness and gambling. Every sensible person would want their family free from any addiction and that is just what the old lady is trying to do. Unfortunately, losses hardly cause gamblers to have a rethink about the habit. I have a younger brother who gambles. I really do not concern myself with his gambling matters since he's an adult, though I pray and hope he quits. If perpetually losing would mke him quit, that would be fine.
Philippines right?
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
I'm sure it is; it is like a tradition, and I have friends who are into this, and you can easily tell if one of them is a winner; they have the opponent's dead cock, and had a drinking spree; I can relate to this when one of the wives even shouted that bad luck one of you wins again.
It is part of the Sunday get-together of friends to relax after a week of hard work. Usually, people who are involved in this are laborers and hard workers. I think it's hard to break this tradition.
You can't stop him from winning, rather, curtail the activities he does after he wins because the way I see it he might start using his other funds to continue his vices if he doesn't see profits from gambling even if he's a responsible one. After all, he's trying enjoy his retirement right?
The wife has a got a valid reason to be upset whenever he wins because to her, it's not a good form of spending your winnings as it may cause problems down the line for him and it will become pointless if he continues to win but his health won't be in a good condition to let him celebrate it.
Well, of it doesn't look like he's going to stop soon even after she has voiced her complaints and reasons, maybe she just has to live him alone or pick up a hobby that won't let her dwell too much on his behaviors.
The wife has a got a valid reason to be upset whenever he wins because to her, it's not a good form of spending your winnings as it may cause problems down the line for him and it will become pointless if he continues to win but his health won't be in a good condition to let him celebrate it.
Well, of it doesn't look like he's going to stop soon even after she has voiced her complaints and reasons, maybe she just has to live him alone or pick up a hobby that won't let her dwell too much on his behaviors.
Sounds like the dumbest thing in the world. Who would want their loved 1 to lose their ass just to avoid having to deal with a night of buddies drinking. What a selfish bitch IMO. Why not look for other ways to entertain the guy instead of hoping he blows their limited income gambling? Date night, hot bedroom action, bingo, or something that doesn't involve spending or losing a ton of money.
I personally would hope that my loved 1 wins and enjoys their winnings as it's likely that the person would win more than what it costs to host a small party and make our life a little easier that month.
I personally would hope that my loved 1 wins and enjoys their winnings as it's likely that the person would win more than what it costs to host a small party and make our life a little easier that month.
Well the woman has a bit of right in here,he should enjoy his winnings with her as long as they are living together and enjoying their retirement together.The wife should talk directly to him to convince him that this is not a good way of spending the winnings while they can do many other things with that money.
First of all I think that it is something that needs to be solved between the old couple and I know a lot of stories who have ended really really bad and the protagonists are old people,precisely old men,there are a lot of stories of how many of them have hurt their health up to death and this guy with what is doing is not very far away,drinking at such age is surely not beneficial.
First of all I think that it is something that needs to be solved between the old couple and I know a lot of stories who have ended really really bad and the protagonists are old people,precisely old men,there are a lot of stories of how many of them have hurt their health up to death and this guy with what is doing is not very far away,drinking at such age is surely not beneficial.
That's not actually the best way for the wife to go about it because even if she succeeded in praying for the husband to lose his gambling in other to stop drinking it will not still remedy the situation because in one way or another he will still figure out a way and continue his drinking, however what the woman failed to understand is that if the husband keep losing in gambling he will be lured to gamble more with the believe that he will make out for the loses and from there his financial states will be affected.
Perhaps what the woman should do is to talk to her husband if the character she is seeing is not convenient for her so possibly if they argue it one or twice the husband will start limiting from those act, though the thing is actually normal for most people who has worked so hard all there life in making sure they have a good achievement so after there retirement they tend to enjoy themselves in anyway they feel is okay for them.
Perhaps what the woman should do is to talk to her husband if the character she is seeing is not convenient for her so possibly if they argue it one or twice the husband will start limiting from those act, though the thing is actually normal for most people who has worked so hard all there life in making sure they have a good achievement so after there retirement they tend to enjoy themselves in anyway they feel is okay for them.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
This is not even related to gambling but the person is at fault and probably this is considered as domestic violence in most countries.
The problem here is her husband don't have control over his drinking habit that is why whenever he got money in his hands he just go for the booze so the root cause is his addiction to alcohol which is pretty much need professional care and lot of time to be dealt but it's so rare that someone who is retired becoming irrespeonsible.
From the idea of the wife it is making some senses because it means that he is overdoing it and she is afraid that her husband wins might lead him to health issues because of what he uses his wins for which is drinking but she forget to know that he is having fun and doesn't care about what happens to him.
I would do the same if I have a friend or brother that wants to harm himself with the money that he wins from gambling because they are our loved ones and whatever happens to them will affect us. Some people huge wins have caused them big problem some death.
I would do the same if I have a friend or brother that wants to harm himself with the money that he wins from gambling because they are our loved ones and whatever happens to them will affect us. Some people huge wins have caused them big problem some death.
Philippines right?
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
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