When I enter my seed phrase (that came from electrum) while trying to restore the "next" button is greyed out. When I change to BIP39 the checksum passes. After clicking "detect existing accounts" I get no existing accounts found. I have also tried restoring with the legacy / p2sh-segwit / native segwit.
I am at a loss and after scanning forums for days I am pretty much hopeless
. Do you fine people have any suggestions?
I would assume that you have a badly documented mnemonic seed phrase because some of your details just don't go well together.
Electrum itself doesn't generate a BIP39 compatible mnemonic seed phrase and I find it highly unlikely that a possibly wrong or mixed up sequence of an Electrum mnemonic seed would pass a BIP39 checksum test by chance. I have to assume you're sure about the correct sequence of your mnemonic seed words.
I.e. your mnemonic seed has very likely been created by some other BIP39 compatible wallet or mnemonic seed words generator. So, apparently your documentation for your mnemonic seed is flawed. This may also leave the possibility open that you might have used an optional mnemonic seed passphrase (which shouldn't be written down together with the mnemonic seed words for obvious reasons).
Next already mentioned issue could be some non-standard derivation path on top of all (which would have needed proper documentation, too). If you remember which wallet software generated your BIP39 mnemonic seed words then the information provided at
https://walletsrecovery.org/ may help to pinpoint the likely used derivation path of your wallet.
I'm emphasizing the necessity of good and complete documentation of such important wallet restauration details (by no means a complete list: when created, for what reason, which wallet software name and version, number and order of words, optional passphrase used?, derivation path) because a lot of wallet restauration issues show some lack of it. I highly recommend to test a wallet recovery on a secure computer while the wallet is still accessible.
HD-wallet gap limit issues could also prevent the proper automatic detection of your derivation path.