Topic: Help (Read 983 times)

I have a serious issue with sleepness, and since I have no acess to sleeping drugs I drink something with high % of alcohol when I see I will be awaken all the night.

Not recommended for most people because alcohol addiction is a big risk, I just took my chance for despair, and had luck.

For the other issues I just gone indifferent, and just can't feel anything when something bad or good happens. It is bad for my personal life, but no more pain and it helps with trading and other areas where people screw themselves up due to emotional

I like programming, I've found out about codecademy and when I have time I go there, I do a little of cpp and HTML.

I have an interest in psychology ever since I took AP psychology in high school, I got an A and passed the AP exam with a four or a 5. It was a yearlong course with a really good teacher.

My local library has the Power of introverts as an Audiobook. (I can only listen to most audiobooks by speeding them up). I just did a request on the large print version of this book. They'll ship it from the St. Petersburg beach library to the Tarpon Springs public library (30 something miles) and then I'll go pick it up.

Playing video games always helped, I'm on a laptop however and the CPU of it needs new thermal compound. I haven't done that on a laptop yet so I dread all the dozens of little screws I'll have to take out of it.
I do have some thermal compound around. Anything that pushes the CPU turns my laptop into the Lag-Master 9000 Pro

Video games are the best. Now I'm playing final fantasy III (by III, I mean the 1990, remade with better graphics for PC version not the VI that was renamed as III) for the PC. I got it from the humble bundle store for a little Bitcoin.

I live in a tiny room in a condo that was made for old people. My room was never intended to be a room but a small workspace, I think.

As for long walks, I take them whenever I can, I live a very hot and humid part of Florida. Big distances, asphalt roads, high temperatures, uncomfortable humidity (high humidity causes water not to evaporate from the body, a mechanism by which we can cool ourselves by about 30f/15c so if you walk around soon you may find yourself swimming in sweat, especially in the summer).

Despite all that, biking is easier than walking here, because, moving through the air has a cooling effect.


A little about my family:

My stepfather is a very manipulative person. He treats everyone as if they are there simply to help him through his day. It's impossible to be at the same place with him and comfortable. In the living room, he will ask anyone who is talking to quiet down, playing video games or watching tv there is impossible with him around because he will change the channel, sit right in front of two arm-chairs that are there, not allow any food in the living room etc.

The kitchen is connected there and his negative energy spills over there. I'm a good cook and that kitchen is very small and open to the living room. I don't like being watched when I cook.

He watches the kitchen through the reflection from the TV and windows and it's very annoying. He will stick his fingers and try anything anyone is cooking. I am by no means a clean freak, I'm very casual about my hygiene, except for cooking.

 
When my sister and I were still in high school he would ask for our grades (we had moved from Greece). We almost always got good grades.
He would always complain, never saying congratulations.
The only time he said nothing?
When we both got straight As.


(Long and Boring story)
 I made about 10 pounds of bread a few days ago. I strategically woke up hours before he would so I could do this (he would make it impossible). He disturbed the making process of the bread by lifting the covers of the bread and peeking, allowing the heat to go out (bread gets gas into it through the yeast eating sugars and starch and turning them to co2 bubbles and ethanol (normal alcohol) if this process is disturbed the bread can fail)

He tried it, despite me telling him not to as it wasn't ready, said nothing (because it was good and he just doesn't want to praise people for some reason, like an asshole).

When it was ready, I cut half and put it in two different plastic tupperware (I had bought them and on one I put holes on top of so the bread wouldn't dry up (bread drys up if it stays in high humidity generated by itself because it somehow turns it to rock, that's why when you buy bread it's in plastic with tiny holes in it)

He complained to my mom that she taking up a lot of space when she put it in the cupboard (the fuck?) When I went to say I can just take all of it in my room he said (in Greek) (we're all Greek) the equivalent of "You have no speech here" and then I said the equivalent of (At my balls, then) and left. I'm very polite even to him but he is unchanging.

Later, when my father (biological one) was visiting he sat on the table, everyone talked about how good my bread was, he didn't touch it and ate some other bread. He then asked if it was whole wheat and shit like that which of course it was.

He then said that he's doing it to make me manly.(not to me mind you, my mother) Seriously? Apart from the fact that machismo belongs in history books, making bread is manly even in Greek tradition. One of his sons is gay, and both of his sons avoid him like the plague. This was obviously bullshit, and he said that to my mother. Which dislikes him as well.


He's not what causes my problems but without him my life would never get fucked up this badly.

In fact I was even baker acted one because of him. And at one time, I wanted to go to the psychiatrist for months (I have bipolar and I wanted to take care of it with a little bit of help in case things get bad). Months of me asking to go to the psychiatrist later, he chose the worst in a 15 mile radius (on accident I bet, still taking away my power of choice) which prescribed useless anxiety and other medication. That was years ago, and I still haven't made a complete recovery from that.

Well, I'm on my way out of this mess anyway.

I guess he'll appreciate all the work I do around this house when I'm fucking gone. I haul the drinking water, assemble all furniture, carry and shop a lot of the stuff, do not ask about things and buy my own things (cellphone, bed frame,shower head, entertainment). I have assembled and carried all the furniture here, fixed doors, the bathroom, and other things, get the mail, assembled the crappy electric grills allowed here. Carried all the topsoil and tended to the garden.  Get and carry all the salt for the water-softener. Act politely.

Before I moved here my life was excellent, I had a gaming PC with two monitors and a console in my "gadget space" in my room, An awesome bed that my father and I had made that had a triple bed on top, a bed hanging down from it (my bed, and there even was a bed under it.

I lived in Athens, Greece so a big part of my day was walking around with friends and having fun, going to bars, and cafes (Athens is an awesome city to be in).

The moment I stepped foot in Florida my quality of life nosedived. It's not to blame on Florida or the US. I love this country, just not my situation.

Play DotA (Shout at Russians for being bad)
Read, a great book I'm currently reading is "Quiet - The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking" realy interesting if you have any interest in psychology
Programming: Its great, a highly intellectual problem that i am able to sink myself into lets me take my mind off of things that are troubling me and focus entirely on the code.

I can stop as well. The only times I've gotten too drunk are when I pushed really hard. I can see however that since alcohol can impair judgement, that can make people prone to a wrong decision of the type: I drunk this and it felt good, so I'll drink more of it. Instead of, If I drink too much, I'll feel like shit.

I dealt with it by listening to good music and thinking it through for hours.

The next day I was much more able to deal with everything as I had come up for fixes, it wasn't perfect, I didn't solve my life's problems but I minimized conflict where I could.

A couple of beers would have been good If I had them. (And if I could buy them in the states since I'm 20)

Not being rich sucks. I need more luck.

Very sorry to read this.
I can imagine how difficult is this situation for you but please, believe me, unresolved issues will never allow you to relax and move on with your life.
It's always hard to make hard decisions but you deserve better, to open new page in the book and move on, either with the same people or new one

your will isn't strong enough

I can always control myself

usually my friends get drunk, vomit, I however can always stop on time

The goal is to achieve the "buzz" without hangover or vomiting

That is what I usually achieve

I'm not saying I never vomited or gotten drunk, of course I did

plenty of times, but I learned

I cant stop at 2 or 3... once the alcohol starts flowing through my bloodstream, I drink until I cant keep my eyes open anymore LOL!

I don't have a drinking problem BTW. I drink, pass out, no problem 

you don't have to get drunk, drink a couple of beers, not a dozen

little beer makes you happier

Hahahaha! A stoners answer for everything 

Drinking will help until tomorrow morning, then you back to square 1 with a hangover to top it off...

Smoke a J if you smoke.

Have a couple of beers.

I agree with both these posts (though you don't need a dog to go for a walk). Walking is a great way to relax your mind so you can think properly about whatever is disturbing you; maybe get a new perspective.

I find walking meditation often more beneficial than sitting.

probably not what you want to hear, but you have to face it instead of looking for a distraction. a good way of facing it is to start meditating so you can calm your mind and feelings.

Honestly, When I feel like that, I watch game of thrones... It takes me away from the real world. Iv probably watched season 1 to 4 about 4 times now.

do you have a dog?

take him for long walks trough nice landscape, it's relaxing, gets you the time to think while actually relaxing you

when I say long, it's really long, 2-3 hours

But if you don't walk your dog often enough it's really likely he won't be able to walk for that long

Anyways, if you preferr not to think about it, pick a new series to watch, preferrably something funny [The Big Bang Theory, How I met your mother, Two and a Half man etc.]

which will bring you in a good mood

Second the idea on reading; it's a great escape. Try finding a mystery.

Play some games. Maybe start up a new television series you can get into and binge watch a bit.

In my opinion, doing something temporary when trying to distract yourself can be pointless. Listening to music or watching a 3 minute YouTube video (even if looped) always gives the chance of getting back into the same mood after the video or song is done and you are no longer distracted.

Look into long term distraction (such as an easy game, longer video/movie/tv) until you crash and fall asleep.

JM2C.

I'm having very serious family issues and my brain is in brooding mode.

I don't want to type down a boring book long post about my situation.

What are some of the things you do when you just can't take it. I'm going to distract myself trying to do fun things. Listening to songs and relaxing until I can sleep. I can't even talk to my best friend right now, I told her that I need some time and that for all intents and purposes I'm unavailable, which is true, brooding may just be part of life in the modern world.