There is quite a difference between an explanation without too much technical terms and an explanation for 7 year old kids...
I'd say your approach is more suitable for young kids, than adults.
You should at least mention the key elements:
- Work is being done (PoW, Mining)
- Each node verifies each transaction/block (trustless)
- Works without middlemen (P2P)
- Each user is the only owner of his money (noone else has access)
- Uses Public-Key-Cryptography (Information (private key) = Money)
If the person you try to explain it doesn't understand these simple terms, they most probably also won't be capable of keeping their BTC secured.
So, these people shouldn't own any BTC at all.
The good thing with bitcoin is, that no trust is required at all.
The combination of technologies (PoW, merkle tree, blockchain, ..) has created a decentralized and trustless system.
People need to trust mathematics, in order to trust bitcoin.