Topic: How close are you to your father? (Read 399 times)

This two can only be balance depending on the kind of work a father is doing, there are some work that when you leave in the morning your coming back home is in the evening and most of this company don't work on Sundays and if you are in this type of company work you can spend some time with your children every Sundays but I don't think it's necessary to be staying with your children often when you have to provide for their needs but people who do this kinda of work can balance it partially. That's why it is good to be self employed because you decide when to work, time to work and what to work.

Omo I no grow up with father love o, no be say e don die o but e no dey with us, so I no dey close with my father, which is very very bad, assuming say I dey close to my father, e get some kind things wey I for learn from am but my mother dey always tell me say my father no dey carry me play based on say na me the first child, say e dey always pamper me, say e no dey gree mk my leg touch for ground, say anything wey I need say e dey mk sure say I get am but as I come grow reach as I reach like this, e no dey close to us because of separation and na why dem talk say divorce no good because na the children e go dey affect because assuming my father dey close to me, e for the advise me for the some kind things I been do for life, some kind mistakes wey i make but nothing spoil sha, dey say experience is the best teacher.

Good morning all ,this is a nice topic discussion
When I grow up with my dad as his only son ,he train me to be his friend and one and only,I see him as a brother ,friend, father,I see my daddy as everything in this world to me ,my dad tell me everything about him likewise me he knows what I like and the one I don't like ,I tell him about my  girlfriend if we have issues my dad already knows my fault,the bond I have with my dad can never be broken,am his eyes he doesn't want anything to happen to me,am so close to him ,even we debate together my dad make me to read burning grass, African night of entertainment and things fall apart
After reading this book when I was in school when I came back home .

Me and my daddy dey fire each other questions,if he fails the question I laughed him ,and he will tell me is been long he read it ,then I will tell him the correct answer he will say yes am correct, people jealous the way me and my dad do ,infact is extract ordinary,in all I thankGod for the kind of Father he has given to me no matter what ,he is the best ,when I was growing up he doesn't care if am the only son he caution he beat when nessacery,he is the best same hands he train me we be same hands I will train my kids ,I love my daddy.

To be honest, my father, even with all his work and all was always around for his children. He wasn't the type to travel for a long time or stay too late at work. He was a business man which made it easier for him to be around us. But growing up, I wasn't the emotional type to want to cling unto anybody. So, I still ended up not having any sort of bond with any of my parents infact.

As for being a good parent to my kids, I will still end up raising a family just the same way I was raised.

A family without children is not complete and there will be no happiness in that family. The matter the parents get money for the family dem no go happy if dem no get children. And even though you have children if you did not treat them well they will not come close to you and instead they would come close their mother more than the father. And in the whole world if you hear and Listen or see, children who love their mother are more than the ones that love their father.

Well we all know shey dis topic na one of di Ogbonge off Topics for we local board but we just dey use dey old body so support our discussion dey go. Make pipo no think am too much.

You are correct any family without kids is not a complete family yet because they wouldn't know what's there to train up children because of their work and some of their children would could lack home training and some morals principles. Whenever you meet such family's it's very easily to be identified if you watch careful and of course when the man of the family or woman of the family is being brought up and raised carefully you would see the difference between those families that is lacking home training.

Hence we should endeavor to take care of our family and also help our wife at home to help train our children most times the influence of the father alone makes their children to behave responsibly why because they wouldn't want in a way where their father will start shouting at them.

I rather not prefer the working class parents. There is this parental distance that start when you send your children to boarding school. Normally there are advantages of disadvantages of boarding school but ill point out a few disadvantages that has to do with family not being close to another. My very close friend started boarding school at the age of 8 and from there he go admission to the university that is where we met. Because of all these long distances he has no bond with his family like that family love and all that. He can stay two to three months without calling his dad or mom. And this was how all of them in their family were brought up. Currently now no one cares or checkup on each other, hes father has realized and is trying to pull the family back but to no avail because they are already used to that live. They cannot miss home or remember home because they have been far from it in the past.

The most successful family in the Earth needs the children as well because the division of labour will be circulating to everyone and everyone would bring things to the house. And that is why a success of any family must be plan base on the family trees. The man been the head of the family has to direct the rest people to achieve their potentials. And that is why a family without children is always not really a happy family. And children are trained from the childhood by the parents and when they grow up, they would not deviate from the family norms.

And these days working class parents hardly have time for their children and that make some of them to put their children in the boarding schools so that they would have time to work.

As una dy so, life na only one e dy so and e go better say make we make use of d time we get to spend with that person wey we love, make I use our papa as example as d tori b.
No matter how e b, make we show love and care because if we lose our father that closeness no go dy again, even if we quarrel make we try come and comot that quarrel quarrel face and put smiling face.
Our papa dy try and if them use work matter as wetin make them no dy close to us, at least make we no repeat am with our children. Me wey no see my papa again and I just go burial on Thursday I go try to use him mistake on us to learn lesson.

When I been dey small I no dey close to my father, since na army man him be and him hardly dey dey house we dey see am once a while when him return from outside work but like this him don join him ancestors... Na my mother I dey close to pass when him been still dey alive and as the first son for the family... Na me come be father like this so.

Fatherly care and support is not just providing money up keeps for children, doing this alone is not enough for the child. Their are lessons every father needs to give every child,  the mother can't play the role of the father. Sometimes just the presence of the father is just enough for the child to learn many things. Fathers needs to learn how to make themselves available to their children,  I know it might not be easy for them due to the kind of the work they involve themselves with, staying away from kids as father can really affect children up bringing and the bond between the father and child won't be a good one.

I love this topic that says how close are you to your father?

Well I am going to tell you a little story about my closeness with my father..i have a very good and close relationship with My father more than my mother, I could remember back then when after cooking in my mother 's kitchen I will take mine and my father's food together to my father 's  room and both of us eat together and I have be doing that for a very long time, to the extent that I and my father sleep in the same bed and my father love me so much..

Even when my father is going for a meeting I must go with him in every where he goes, some times I will not be aware that there's a meeting somewhere, and I may have gone out to play with my fellow children and immediately he has finish preparing himself he will come me to come and get myself prepared that we are going somewhere and I will hurry up and do that and he will give me his hand bag, this is an elderly people 's hand bag not all this one you are seeing now oooh and I will hold the bag and whatever they share at the villages square where the meeting was held we will always put ours in our bag and take little bit of it..

So my relationship with my father is very very nice and lovely, I feel very bad the day he left me in this world..

Sadly. I had no relationship with my father till he passed away and that's one of my main regrets in life but this wasn't my fault. I will have to get a bond with my children

I don’t know about others but for me ,am very close to my dad ,the bound started right from the day I was born,according to my Mum she said I was born at the time when my father’s grandfather died .and for some reason my father and his grandfather was always having a fight not a serious fight tho .so he promised him that he was going to come back through one of his son ,and when turned out to look like him 😂e funny abi ,cus me self no believe am😂😂so that was how I became my dead’s favorite.Omo you sha no touch me say na beat you won beat me cus my dad will definitely come for you .that one no mean say him no Dey put am for my body when I mess up  .my siblings at some points became jealous so my dad tried as much as possible to balance things up.it got to a point where  my siblings will have to go through me to get something from my dad .

I literally tell my dad everything.the worst of it all is that I can’t even stay a week without seeing or hearing from him .it sounds funny right.I know that woman are usually closer to there dad and men are always close to the Mum but my case is different.my and my Mum na soap and eye😂we are also having a fight .but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me as much as my dad .

Father is the most important thing for a family in every part of the world. We can Dey that it is God's gift because a person who does not have a father understands how difficult the world is. We can say that a father is like a banyan tree that overshadows its child as long as it lives in the world. Running a family requires a lot of money and food, which only the father works hard too provide for his children. A family only depends on the father too move forward, father's role is essential in every country in the world. From childhood, we grew up only with the love of our parents, they never let us suffer but they themselves worked hard too keep us happy. When we were children, father worked very hard for us and gave us everything, including food. That's why we should keep parents happy now, and we earn hard-earned money too spend it on family. And just as our father raised us and worked hard, we should raise our children when we become fathers.

Father is blessing of god. My father is a good person and from his position he always try to complete my every demand and needs. But im not close to my father. I see my friends the told their father what they do what they want. But i can't. Beacose may father is a angery person and what he say I've to do the work and he don't care what I say. That's create distance between me and my father. Sometime I feel sad when I see others fathers who are closest to their children. But what to do it's my luck.

Truthfully, alot of father's have made certain mistakes when it comes to their child's  upbringing and care, not because they want to be that way, but because they do not know any better. If most of them, talking about the present father's, can trace the mistakes their fathers made and try adjust themselves, things could possibly turn out differently .

Family is one of the most valued asset of a man but yet the most difficult thing to manage or control in a man's life. There are a lot of energy to be put into the standardization of a family. For the kind situation wey we dey inside now for this country, e difficult make you have that time wey you for dedicate for your family as much because na for the same 24 hours you dey go work come dey follow am with other side hustles.

An average civil servant working in Abuja is probably collecting 250k monthly for workplace and him house rent reach 2.5 million naira yearly which means that even if him dey gather him salary keep and hin no touch am, e no go pay am for 10 months as other service charges dey join.

Now that person dey among people wey get small privilege somehow for Abuja. Alas, the person have no choice than to share his house rent with another friend or colleague at the office making it practically impossible to bring his family because if he does, where will dey stay?

Another thing is that he will need to pay other bills like house utility bills and transportation as well as other miscellaneous expenses. Imagine if that person intend to bring his family into the apartment, how does he feed them and pay their school fees too as a father. In the end, he has no choice than to leave them behind and go out to the world to fend for the family.

I think the abovementioned is just one single reason amongst many other why people do not have time for their families because the time which their income source takes or consume from them is way beyond that which gives them the ample time or opportunity to take good care of the family through quality time.

Me and my father dey close well well we dey like 9 and 10... E reach were be say if my father won commot for house e go tell me were e dey go as if say I been e wife way e marry keep for Hux.. Na later I con no say all the like way e too like me and on how me I like am too na say I be the only son of the house before e con born e last born way con be boy e still dey show me the love and among my father and my mother na my father I love pass as every pikin dey say na their mother them like pass me i dey tell them say na my father because if any small thing just do me na him the thing dey affect pass my mother na e make I choose to love my father. And the thing way dey sweet me pass na say e no take me like e son we dey behave like two brothers. I too like that man way God carry give me as my father.

Family are not meant for one alone be it woman or man the family needs the both parties to be able have a successful home any family that is lacking one parents almost lack everything because you would see them misbehaving especially the girls when they noticed their father aren't there they feels like they have all access to do whatever they wanted, somehow the boys are more cultured due to the presence of their mother but the girls don't care about what their would say.

That is why today as a man of the house no matter how tight you are at work place endeavors to come at least twice a month to seat and meet with your family to spend quality time with them so that none would go astray due to bad influence from friends and relatives it's important that your kids feels your impact to the family than spacing them due to work nature.

It is not generally in all parent's but at most.
However, that is basically a cause of the tender and caring mindsets of mothers.
Mothers lives to support their children at all courses they can and the mothers are endivoired in backing up her kids whether on their wrong or bad deeds so the kids tend to grow with their childish thoughts that the mothers loves them most because she could support them on whatever basis while the fathers are strict to them because he wouldn't tolerate any form of misconducts of the children.

I grew from a family where when I was a kid, I was what we locally known as "the trouble maker" and my mom has always been a reliable wall for me to lean on whenever I have misconducted out there. She would always defend me even when I misconducts within my siblings she always shields me from being punished and my dad would keep saying to her that... Woman, you are misleading your children with bad manners and I would feel like he is hating my mom because she is being my defense on same note, I am loving my mom more than my dad.

Now I have grown and my mom still does the same things with my junior ones including my nieces, nephews and junior cousins which I could realize all those times she had been backing me up was all wrong home training and when I cautions her about it she lives to tell me that I hate my siblings and Junior relatives right in their present and The kids are generously developing fear and hatreds in me.

I have come to observe that this is an acts of most mothers in my neighborhood and it is of all tendencies that it is generally a deed in most places in the societies.

This can be a challenging situation most times because we feels so occupied and engaged due to our activities and occupation some people may not have that privilege to stay and groom their homes when it's necessary since because they are regularly providing what they needs as family. It's very hard to say but come to think of it as family I also know that there is no way at least one of his daughter or son must be closer to the father and this will be someone who mostly behave and act like that man.

Despite how far they mostly communicate with each other and that person will be the easy way to the father maybe some people are often next to their mothers because of the much love they got from her. I can easily say that the female are mostly bonds with their there father's while the males loves and cherished their mother so much.

if to say I be girl I for de blush like this aswr. I appreciate your advice and I believe say I don learn my lesson and since the thread burst out for the board regarding shit post, I don try as much as possible make I no de post any thing when de off topic for the board.

Like I been talk for one of the thread when de of this nature, when I join the forum, I no really know much about so many stuff for the different board. na just from observation I take de ensure say I make contribution when de relevant to the different board and to some extent, I fitt possibly make mistake just like this one you just pointed out.

But I don de  learn and don de become used to the structure and regulations in the forum and I don say buy buy to shit post, although this particular thread when I make na out of wetin I don see plenty for we environment when I just reason to bring am up for we good people make we for yarn am together.

But regardless, we go continue to de improve on our threads and contribution and we go work together to make this board a unique one.

  Parenting as a whole is a duty that everyone needs to fulfill. The right fulfillment of this duty depends on the way we manage the affairs of the home generally. The mother is naturally close to her children and it's much more easier to bond with her than the father. The fathers on their own end have a whole lot of duties to fulfill but a good father even regardless of these duties would make out time for his family.
  There's no harm in a father being available to play some necessary roles in the physical child upbringing. There should be avoidance of situations where a child would grow up with questions pertaining to his father's availability in his life. The availability of both parents is really essential in a child's upbringing. It goes beyond financial providence and all. The same care a mother gives to her child, if the father is able to place half of it on the child, it'll do the child an extra good in his growth and well being.

Op nor vex for wattin I an talk oo, I no lie you this your topic off well well and the reason why e touch me na because of say i know you as person wey get good contribution to this board and the one wey pain me pass na be say you come write everything for English, like this na any external wey come this our board come observe fit go see am now come think say na play we dey play for here while we dey ask for merit source and other things.
I no go lie you, I dey respect you well well for this forum naim make me dey bring this advice come your dormot especially for this kind time wey we dey beg for something wey go help the board. Abeg if una won write this kind off topic make una use our normal pidgin make we for no cast for outside.

Just as I been talk before I no mean to vex you, and if my comment vex you in one wey or the other make you forgive me, I respect you, and if you no like the advice you fit disregard am, Thanks for your understanding.

This talk na 💯 percent true and I dey think am say why e be like that...I watch one video of graduating students wen them ask who Dem love pass between father and mother...all of them say mother..I come dey like wetin the father's dey do...most of the fathers no be because say them dey work hard to provide for the family...most of them feel say na mother duty to bond with the children... Everytime go meet your mother and children always go to who gives them listening ears

So many home is like this, Op, most time you don't blame father because they are going through a lot emotionally and otherwise, just imaging when a man wakes up in the morning, go about his daily hustle, and sometime he comes back in the night, at this time the might have slept except his wife, that's if she truly loves and care about the well being of this man, bro I must tell you that it is not easy for this men, if you put all this into consideration which time will this man have to bond with his children, if we say he should quit this kind of job that doesn't allow him to have time with his children, where will he get another one, we know this country is not a place to display such expenses resigning from a job when don't have a better offer, there are many things involved, men and something, God bless men. 

The reason wey you bring as the disadvantages of father wey dey stay for house, I no see am as disadvantages at all because you mentioned say if dey do something wrong him dey flog them and I see am say na better thing he do because if assume say the children do wetin dey right him no go flog them, so as for me the house wey father go dey with children no get disadvantage for my own opinion.

So many things wrong with am because if na you, you no go like check your investment time to time to see whether the investment dey grow positive or negative,

Another one be say if father and children no spend time with each e dey get effect because if father sick or he don old na him children go be his friend but of they no sabi each other from beginning e go dey hard to relate.

me and my father dey very very close and also my mom because i grew up in a family, were i was the only boy at the middle of 2 girls and the  most amazing part is that i'm still the head of the house and still the kind of pampad i'm receiving from my parent even the last born of the house is not getting it as i do sometimes she use to be like bro are sure that i'm the last born of the house,and i use to be like why are you saying that and she will keep saying that these people are not showing her enough care the way they do to me.

I no really experience dis kind life when I dey grow up, so I no think say I dey in a better position to give advise on what to do. All I know was that, me and my father dey very close and a day doesn’t pass by without us seeing each other unless he travels out of town. But make I still chip in small; for d society wey we dey, if father no get provide for family dem go day na bad father or an incapable person, and now again dis same society na him go still blame you if you dey focus on looking for money to feed d family with your type of work not permitting you to meet your family always. My question now be say; make him leave the work come sit down for house dey look the family and make dem all die of hunger or lack all basic amenities, sometimes no be their fault and if na understanding family dem suppose understand and na d mama go play vital role for here for d children not to think of their father as an irresponsible man or leaving the job of his fatherhood to them and focusing on making money only.

My brother it depends on the work wey some of our father dey do oo, but for me here I dey see my papa every weekend because he always travel for where he is posted to work but every weekend he always show up, sometimes sef he will not go to work like two weeks and we will be having some fun and discussion, we plenty for the family but to be honest all of us they close to him, and about your story wey you dey tell about your papa now, I understand how you will feel because living without spending a time with your dad is something that will make you feel like you don't have a dad sometimes, and also it lead some children to some of the habit that they did not support to do when they are still young.

Everything get advantage and disadvantage, the advantage of having a dad at home all the time is to make sure that the house is in his control, like when the children need something he can give them and most importantly showing your children love by letting them bold with you, but the disadvantage of dad at home is that some dad are very harsh, when they are at home some children won't feel comfortable because if they did anything wrong he will flog shege commot from their body, and again some father's that we see that they don't have chance to be at home with their children is not their fault, they need to work hard to make sure the family are doing okay because that is his duty and if he wants to come house to stay with the family it will be very difficult for them to eat sometimes at home, so in my opinion I don't see anything wrong with the father that works hard and did not have time to stay at home with his family.

OP this topic wey you open done touch me for heart and soul. Ah no go lie this one enter me. 

Me ah done try to call my father today him no Gree pick call. Almost evrytime we they get issues. The thing be say most fathers they act too smart like they no am finish. They no they like listen to your opinion or see your own side of view for things. Every time my papa they like make decisions for me and ah no be small pikin again. E suppose ask you weting you want for life or you wan become instead of to they impose am on you say you must do like this or like that. Me ah done try bringing this matter for our house make everybody hear am but the man mind just one day back.

Normally our father no go fit give us advice wey go hurt us. But things done change nah, nah technology everywhere. Me i like tech but the man they force me to go pursue higher certificate for my educational career.

Things dey happen oh, but no matter how hard we try this case go still happen to some young parents, e be like wetin we no fit avoid at all. Being a good parents na wetin we want but sometimes the responsibilities wey dey come with am go make many young parents forget to play their part as father's, imagine a father wey no know wetin pikin like or hate, some no sabi dia pikin birthday, na so e bad reach.

this one na very sad experience when person done de try to avoid seriously. Na matter how strong we de financial that longing to bond with our old man de always de there though e de hard us to show am. I pray say God go make us better parents when our children go de proud of.

This matter strong but as our fathers dey always take things as if nah dem go dey provide dem must work to d end to provide for the family, e no bad but if you no spend time with your children who go do am for you as a father?
Na the way the contri dey nai make fathers need to go hustle pass time wey dem suppose spend time with dia family, and if dem no do am like dat food no go dey for table, e hard oh, to be a father. But my own be say, no matter d little time dem give you for work as off or free time make you as a father make am count becos you need to relate with your family, no be only d mama go sabi everything about d children.
Me I no too get strong relationship with my father but no be work matter like this issue at hand but some other personal issues I no fit talk here but as I don almost get that bond nai my papa kick bucket, I still never for ones wake from dat dream, e still dey pain me.

I like the way you end the whole talk because at the end of the day oyibo go talk say na the family that comes out of you that matters most and not the one you came out from. But talking about myself, i think the moment  i always about getting really close to my father was the period  I lost him and most times, children don't really avoid their fathers because of the nature of their jobs but rather because of the way our fathers seemed strict and I think thr fathers of this present generation are already changing the narratives of fatherhood as I'm already seeing more of fathers getting really bonded to their children

E good to take the words of our elders serious. Our parents get a vital role to play in our lives and not just to provide. No parent go wish make him Pikin do bad or end up being a failure and this one your father give you nah beta advice but the thing be say, even if you marry from family you feel say dey bad, nah you get the right to change the status quo. Sometimes, families wey people dey regard as good and well behaved fit get one comma inside. This nah my own thinking Sha and I no go wan make you go out of wetin you don hold hand from your father.
  And to the op, I feel say for children to benefit from their fathers in terms of attention and all that, it all depends on how the father balance him schedule. Some people dey say work choke nai make them no fit get time. The truth be say time dey for everything but nah how you take arrange am na mata. E no go make sense say because you be breadwinner, you come lose that quality time you sopoz spend with them. What of when you grow old when you no fit go out to provide and you need them to spend time with you? Them fit no get that chance.

Me and my father dey very close and that closeness done helped my life for the things way he dey tell me as we stay dey talk. As in done die now, those things way he taught me now in I dey use dey guide myself away from problem. For example, one thing way in tell me be say make I no marry from bad families, such as a family way their female daughter's dey leave their husband go sleep with another man when them dey inside marriage and also make I no marry from the family way their children they thief so that I no go born piking way go thief too.

I don't know if it's only in this part of the world but from what I have seen, it's becoming very difficult to find someone who had a great bond with his father while growing up.

I understand that the father is the breadwinner of the home and that this demands that he work very hard to provide for the financial needs of the family. I also know that because of the nature of most work our fathers do, it doesn't give them that much chance to become available for the emotional, psychological, and the rendering of certain discipline to their children, but I think this shouldn't be enough reason why they will not bond with their kids once in a while.

I grew up in a house where my dad was always busy with work to the point where we only see him three times a year and because he feels he has been sending money across for upkeep, he doesn't seem bothered that the kids have missed the role of a father in there lives.

I also know so many youths that we grew up together that had similar and some, worse off experiences growing up with their parents, and now that we've grown and some of us have started a family of our own, some have started repeating this circle in their homes.

How do we balance the part of providing finance for the home and the responsibility of being there for our children as a father?

Abi  if we de provide for the financial need of our homes, e mean to say we don fulfill our role as fathers?