Please stick to the point at hand. I don't really need you telling me what you think I do and don't know.
Let's get one thing straight before more unfounded logic ensues: by the time that bitcoin is used by a significant number of retails at point-of-sale, it will have grown to be much, much larger than it is now with many, many more transactions per second. Hundreds of transactions per second is what we're talking about here.
With a stream of hundreds of transactions per second being injected into the network from various places all around the world, there is no way that the ordering of transactions are going to be guaranteed, nor is the timing. It will be quite likely for one transaction to be delayed in reaching the listener you speak of - if it ever gets there at all - relative to another transaction, simply because at hundreds of transactions per second, there is no way that every peer is going to be passing all of its messages on to every other peer. Well that's my conjecture anyway, I can't prove it any better than you can because until Bitcoin grows this big, no one will really know how it will handle such loads.
The retailer only knows that it's a double-spend if they are able to validate the transaction, and if they see both transactions. The former condition requires them to be a 'super node', and the latter is not guaranteed when the network is big and complex. By the time that bitcoin is used significantly at point-of-sale, with hundreds of transactions per second, being a super node will entail a major resource investment. Although maybe at that point this kind of information will be provided by super nodes and retailers will pay to issue queries about what transactions the super node knows about. Still, it's not nearly as simple as 'the retailer will just watch the transactions'.
It was my assumption that retailers would only watch for transactions from bitcoin addresses that they are expecting payments from, because the firehose of all transactions in such a situation is likely too great, as I have mentioned numerous times here.
The system you are talking about doesn't look anything like bitcoin does today, nor as it was described in the whitepaper or implemented in the client. You're talking about services and methods of validating transactions in ways that have not been tested yet. I don't think that the advantages of bitcoin - potentially lower transaction fees (although I'm not convinced of this myself) and pseudoanonymity will be enough to convince people to use it in preference to much more workable, and already existing, point of sale systems.
Well obviously the disagreement is over the meaning of the term 'fairly safe'.
Why is the burden of proof on me? How about you build a retailer business that accepts bitcoin at point-of-sale without validating transactions in the block chain and we'll see how long you last.
I'm not seriously proposing that you do that, by the way, because I don't think that assertions that one party has to prove by doing rather than prove by logical argument have any place in serious discussion.