Author

Topic: Jokes - Off topic (Read 4892 times)

legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
June 06, 2014, 11:04:06 AM
#51
Husband goes to an ENT doctor and informs that he is having a doubt with the hearing capability of his wife which seems to have decreased significantly since few months and he loves his wife so much that he do not want his wife to know about it but really want to get her treated.
Doc suggests the husband to know from how far she can hear the normal tone voice by trying to talk to her from different distances.
Husband sees that the wife is cooking something in kitchen and facing the wall.
Husband uns to the main door and "honey what are you cooking?" - No reply
Comes 3 steps closer - "honey what are you cooking?" - No reply
Comes 3 more steps closer - "honey what are you cooking?" - No reply
Comes near her ear and says "honey what are you cooking?"
Wife turns and screams - "For gods sake this is the fifth time i m saying 'i am cooking pasta honey!' "
sr. member
Activity: 434
Merit: 250
June 06, 2014, 08:06:24 AM
#50
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "


Its really very nice. make me smile too.
full member
Activity: 233
Merit: 100
June 06, 2014, 01:44:34 AM
#49
Satoshi: We'll change the world!
Community: Yay! Yay!
Satoshi: Goodbye for 10 years.
Community: Nope! No...

10 years later...

Satoshi: We changed the world!
Community: Huh? Who are you?
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
June 05, 2014, 03:57:03 PM
#48
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "

"Yeah, I can still show you the transaction where i started spending it in 2020. I am still left with 0.5 bitcoins out of that though"
Haha... if I may ask on what you are planning to spend your btc in 2020.? I just hope you'll be able to buy an Island with bitcoin till then :p
Um we dont have so many islands in the world then
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
June 05, 2014, 03:23:43 PM
#47
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "

"Yeah, I can still show you the transaction where i started spending it in 2020. I am still left with 0.5 bitcoins out of that though"
Haha... if I may ask on what you are planning to spend your btc in 2020.? I just hope you'll be able to buy an Island with bitcoin till then :p
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
June 05, 2014, 03:16:35 PM
#46
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "

"Yeah, I can still show you the transaction where i started spending it in 2020. I am still left with 0.5 bitcoins out of that though"
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
June 05, 2014, 05:29:19 AM
#45
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "

I would be saving 1 bitcoin for that day
I can sense your grand-kids got a wealthy future :p and i don't think you'll face that question if you'll have 1 whole bitcoin then.
sr. member
Activity: 353
Merit: 250
BITCOIN
June 05, 2014, 01:00:47 AM
#44
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "


I would be saving 1 bitcoin for that day
full member
Activity: 126
Merit: 100
June 04, 2014, 12:27:48 PM
#43
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- CP
- CP who?
- You'll never be able to mine Bitcoins that way!
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
June 04, 2014, 07:07:52 AM
#42
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "

Good one !
full member
Activity: 181
Merit: 100
Better don't say if you don't know!
June 04, 2014, 01:29:39 AM
#41
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "


haha, it makes me lol Tongue
legendary
Activity: 2562
Merit: 1064
June 03, 2014, 03:06:21 PM
#40
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "


lol, It is really nice. hope it will be true.
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
June 03, 2014, 02:28:47 PM
#39
Not a joke but something I read that made me smile :
Year 2050
Your Grandchild to You :
"Grandpa, you really had a whole Bitcoin when you were young? "
newbie
Activity: 22
Merit: 0
May 23, 2014, 02:28:41 AM
#38
Moral of 2014 Elections:

A Gujarati can do anything if denied a VISA to US.
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
May 19, 2014, 03:53:58 AM
#37
AAP can hire a driver and still go to LS in Tata Nano while the Congress would need an RTC bus
legendary
Activity: 2198
Merit: 1049
May 18, 2014, 04:42:44 PM
#36
Congress getting less than 50 seats is a pre-plan so that they can form a whatsapp group without excluding any Wink

hmm.... now I get it... this is the reason they gave a ticket to Nandan Nilekani... hmmm Smiley
member
Activity: 70
Merit: 10
TheSlimShady
May 18, 2014, 02:49:38 PM
#35
Congress getting less than 50 seats is a pre-plan so that they can form a whatsapp group without excluding any Wink
hahahahahaha...nice one. congress will operate on whatsapp and now bjp will have to use another service.
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
May 18, 2014, 02:44:30 PM
#34
Congress getting less than 50 seats is a pre-plan so that they can form a whatsapp group without excluding any Wink
legendary
Activity: 2562
Merit: 1064
May 18, 2014, 02:36:00 PM
#33
modi to amit shah
modi : chal maze lete hai...
amit shah : kaise?
modi : mayawati se phone pe call karke puchte hai ki samarthan degi ya nahi :p hahaha

nice one, before election Mayawati told she wont give support to MODI in any condition.

she was right coz she did not won even single seat so how she will give support without MP.

lol
member
Activity: 70
Merit: 10
TheSlimShady
May 18, 2014, 02:30:02 PM
#32
modi to amit shah
modi : chal maze lete hai...
amit shah : kaise?
modi : mayawati se phone pe call karke puchte hai ki samarthan degi ya nahi :p hahaha
legendary
Activity: 2198
Merit: 1049
May 18, 2014, 12:37:35 PM
#31
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have?

Nice tits.
I have nice tits too.! :p Huge  man boobs.. but i don't get Friends..? why so.? :p

You may contact Vod regarding this Wink
sr. member
Activity: 350
Merit: 252
REAL-EYES || REAL-IZE || REAL-LIES||
May 07, 2014, 11:51:26 PM
#30
Jokes? Here you go:

One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks, "Tell me, what happened to your back?" The patient replies, "Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning, I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony, I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. It was very heavy. That was how I strained my back." Later that day, a second patient arrives and he appears he had been in a car wreck. The doctor said, "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible! What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and I was late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it! I was hit by a fridge! I don't know how the fridge fell on me, or where it came from!" Before closing hours, the third patient came in. He looks like he was punished in hell. The doctor is shocked. He asked, "What the hell happened to you?!" The patient replies, "Well, It started like this - I was hiding in a fridge..."
This is how a lady fncks all three men at once..!
full member
Activity: 181
Merit: 100
Better don't say if you don't know!
May 07, 2014, 04:35:34 PM
#29
Jokes? Here you go:

One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks, "Tell me, what happened to your back?" The patient replies, "Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning, I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony, I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. It was very heavy. That was how I strained my back." Later that day, a second patient arrives and he appears he had been in a car wreck. The doctor said, "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible! What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and I was late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it! I was hit by a fridge! I don't know how the fridge fell on me, or where it came from!" Before closing hours, the third patient came in. He looks like he was punished in hell. The doctor is shocked. He asked, "What the hell happened to you?!" The patient replies, "Well, It started like this - I was hiding in a fridge..."
full member
Activity: 181
Merit: 100
Better don't say if you don't know!
May 07, 2014, 04:35:02 PM
#28
So these are the 10 Lines I'll share for the day , all about India
 1. India is a country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time

2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life

3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you

4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer and in Delhi it will b a dog or a CA

5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India

6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss

7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks

8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues, India is like a girl giving mixed signals

9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars

10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair !! :'D

haha, yes. Need to agree.
legendary
Activity: 1258
Merit: 1001
May 05, 2014, 02:54:40 AM
#27
So these are the 10 Lines I'll share for the day , all about India
 1. India is a country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time

2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life

3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you

4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer and in Delhi it will b a dog or a CA

5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India

6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss

7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks

8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues, India is like a girl giving mixed signals

9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars

10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair !! :'D
I agree !
hero member
Activity: 2184
Merit: 513
Moonbet.io | Web3 Casino
April 11, 2014, 01:36:30 PM
#26
So these are the 10 Lines I'll share for the day , all about India
 1. India is a country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time

2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life

3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you

4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer and in Delhi it will b a dog or a CA

5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India

6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss

7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks

8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues, India is like a girl giving mixed signals

9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars

10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair !! :'D

nice article on India its such trues line which happens in my daily life
sr. member
Activity: 350
Merit: 252
REAL-EYES || REAL-IZE || REAL-LIES||
April 11, 2014, 03:40:35 AM
#25
So these are the 10 Lines I'll share for the day , all about India
 1. India is a country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time

2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life

3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you

4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer and in Delhi it will b a dog or a CA

5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India

6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss

7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks

8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues, India is like a girl giving mixed signals

9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars

10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair !! :'D
sr. member
Activity: 350
Merit: 252
REAL-EYES || REAL-IZE || REAL-LIES||
March 26, 2014, 06:02:29 AM
#24
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have?

Nice tits.
I have nice tits too.! :p Huge  man boobs.. but i don't get Friends..? why so.? :p
newbie
Activity: 1
Merit: 0
March 26, 2014, 01:26:38 AM
#23
It is really funny.
newbie
Activity: 1
Merit: 0
March 23, 2014, 12:45:21 PM
#22
wow amazing ,,, i love jock ,,,,,
i always like jokes  Grin  Smiley  Embarrassed 
member
Activity: 70
Merit: 10
TheSlimShady
March 22, 2014, 09:11:44 AM
#21
Jab kismat hi ho phuddu,, jab kismat hi ho phuddu.........tab kya karega bournvita wala dudhu!! @|"/=§¥€£*
full member
Activity: 197
Merit: 101
March 14, 2014, 04:16:45 AM
#20
these jokes will be called funny only after 3 confirmations..  Grin

Its all about confusing and confusion.

rofl
legendary
Activity: 1105
Merit: 1001
https://www.zebpay.com
March 14, 2014, 03:34:26 AM
#19
I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.

E.exchanger please clear me who is hooker and She in this Tongue i am very confusing about this
Tongue
your English is way beyond the limit of my understanding,  i can't answer you as now iam confused in your question  Tongue Roll Eyes

You know now ?
Its all about confusing and confusion.

Regards
hero member
Activity: 714
Merit: 500
NEED CRYPTO CODER? COIN DEVELOPER? PM US FOR HELP!
March 13, 2014, 01:43:56 PM
#18
I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.

E.exchanger please clear me who is hooker and She in this Tongue i am very confusing about this
Tongue
your English is way beyond the limit of my understanding,  i can't answer you as now iam confused in your question  Tongue Roll Eyes
hero member
Activity: 2184
Merit: 513
Moonbet.io | Web3 Casino
March 11, 2014, 01:51:47 PM
#17
I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.

E.exchanger please clear me who is hooker and She in this Tongue i am very confusing about this
Tongue
hero member
Activity: 714
Merit: 500
NEED CRYPTO CODER? COIN DEVELOPER? PM US FOR HELP!
March 06, 2014, 04:25:21 PM
#16
I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.
newbie
Activity: 7
Merit: 0
February 20, 2014, 04:32:09 AM
#15
Now I believe Dhoom 3 is a real big hit!!
sr. member
Activity: 350
Merit: 252
REAL-EYES || REAL-IZE || REAL-LIES||
February 19, 2014, 02:27:55 PM
#14


nice ride of old couple i am sure they will beat Amir khan in DHoom 3   hehehehe.....Tongue
so what you are telling me is that if Uncle is with turban sitting on back seat is Aamir khan then  Aunty g Sitting in driving seat is Katrina.. ?
legendary
Activity: 1890
Merit: 1000
Landscaping Bitcoin for India!
February 15, 2014, 01:34:06 PM
#13
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Was her name Lisa?
hero member
Activity: 546
Merit: 500
February 15, 2014, 02:13:49 AM
#12
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
hero member
Activity: 1778
Merit: 764
www.V.systems
June 15, 2013, 05:31:51 PM
#11
hero member
Activity: 1778
Merit: 764
www.V.systems
June 09, 2013, 11:45:44 AM
#10
Lisa has 750 friends, next week she gets 150 more.

What does she have ?


A married man talking about her on bitcointalk forum.
member
Activity: 78
Merit: 10
May 28, 2013, 02:17:49 PM
#9
Benson!!!
One more joke! I know you can do better.  Tongue
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
May 23, 2013, 11:02:05 AM
#8
Ohh look the flare in bitcoin is back.. benson does it have anythin to do with you?? Tongue
legendary
Activity: 1890
Merit: 1000
Landscaping Bitcoin for India!
May 23, 2013, 08:42:57 AM
#7
The only downside you see to bitcoins is that you can't ever find any between the sofa cushions! 

Unless you throw a pen drive with your wallet.dat between the cushions!.

ba dap dum tish

hahaha...these jokes will be called funny only after 3 confirmations..  Grin

lol...
full member
Activity: 225
Merit: 100
May 23, 2013, 08:36:02 AM
#6
The only downside you see to bitcoins is that you can't ever find any between the sofa cushions! 

Unless you throw a pen drive with your wallet.dat between the cushions!.

ba dap dum tish

hahaha...these jokes will be called funny only after 3 confirmations..  Grin
legendary
Activity: 1890
Merit: 1000
Landscaping Bitcoin for India!
May 23, 2013, 08:31:53 AM
#5
The only downside you see to bitcoins is that you can't ever find any between the sofa cushions! 

Unless you throw a pen drive with your wallet.dat between the cushions!.

ba dap dum tish
full member
Activity: 225
Merit: 100
May 23, 2013, 08:30:34 AM
#4
The only downside you see to bitcoins is that you can't ever find any between the sofa cushions! 
legendary
Activity: 1890
Merit: 1000
Landscaping Bitcoin for India!
May 23, 2013, 08:26:52 AM
#3
Now this is what happens when bitcoin loses its flare..  Grin

Bah.. Bitcoiny never losing flair.
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
May 23, 2013, 02:39:46 AM
#2
Now this is what happens when bitcoin loses its flare..  Grin
legendary
Activity: 1890
Merit: 1000
Landscaping Bitcoin for India!
May 23, 2013, 02:18:52 AM
#1
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have?

Nice tits.
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