So the excessive barking is just to drive me insane? Smart little bastards.
The excessive barking is your cosmic punishment for not properly training your dog when it was a puppy. 
Topic: Learn dog barking as a language via Groupon (Read 710 times)
OP has been updated. April Fools! 
So the excessive barking is just to drive me insane? Smart little bastards.
Most of dog communication is posturing and odor, barking is a very small part of it. This is full retard.
Yep!
Most of dog communication is posturing and odor, barking is a very small part of it. This is full retard.
Odd, but good idea indeed. However they should discuss the body language as well.
Quote
Dog lovers can finally communicate with man's best friend – by going on a new course to learn how to reply to barks, reports Groupon on April 1. "From today", Groupon is offering the new six-week course trial period, which has been developed by the Pet Auditory Welfare Service (PAWS).
PAWS analysed more than 2,000 different barks from 150 different breeds – from beagles to boxers. Customers will first learn how to understand what their pooch is trying to tell them, by studying the length, pitch and loudness of the woofs. Next they are taught to reply by using a short series of specially formulated doggie yaps.
Examples of phrases they can teach are:
"Stop looking at me like that - this is my dinner"
"Shall we go for a walkies?"
"I think it's time you had a bath."
“I promise you, fireworks will not kill you”
“Fart again and I’ll put you outside”
The team translated different barks by scrutinising the length, cadence and pitch of both individual yelps and "phrases". Pets really are fair game this year, aren't they?
PAWS analysed more than 2,000 different barks from 150 different breeds – from beagles to boxers. Customers will first learn how to understand what their pooch is trying to tell them, by studying the length, pitch and loudness of the woofs. Next they are taught to reply by using a short series of specially formulated doggie yaps.
Examples of phrases they can teach are:
"Stop looking at me like that - this is my dinner"
"Shall we go for a walkies?"
"I think it's time you had a bath."
“I promise you, fireworks will not kill you”
“Fart again and I’ll put you outside”
The team translated different barks by scrutinising the length, cadence and pitch of both individual yelps and "phrases". Pets really are fair game this year, aren't they?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpT8X1UO4ak
Quote
Dedicated dog walker, Hannah Howard, 30, from Bromley, Kent, learnt to speak dog after taking an online e-learning course from Groupon, helping her to 'truly understand' what her dog was saying.
Developed by the Pet Auditory Welfare Service, (PAWS), the course analysed over 2,000 different barks from 150 different breeds of dogs to interpret the length, cadence and pitch of both individual barks and ‘phrases’ to develop a dialect that humans could recreate in order to communicate with their dogs.
Developed by the Pet Auditory Welfare Service, (PAWS), the course analysed over 2,000 different barks from 150 different breeds of dogs to interpret the length, cadence and pitch of both individual barks and ‘phrases’ to develop a dialect that humans could recreate in order to communicate with their dogs.
April Fools!
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