Bart walks into a gay bar. A gay bar tender is working.
Bart sits down at the bar, slaps the bar and says "Hey fagot, give me a beer."
Bartender walks over with a beer and says to the guy, "We do not ask for service around here like that, next time if you want a beer, ask properly you I will ask you to leave."
5 minutes later:
Bart slaps the bar again and says "Hey fagot, give me a beer."
Bartender walks over with a beer and says to the guy, trying to be the mature one "I will tell you again before I kick your ass out of here. We do not ask for service around here like that, next time if you want a beer, ask properly you I will ask you to leave."
5 minutes later:
Bart slaps the bar again and says "Hey fagot, give me a beer."
Bartender walks over again and says to the guy, "Are you stupid? I told you we do not ask for service around here like that. Get your ass up and come back here and pretend you are the bartender and I will show you how to properly ask for a beer."
Bart walks behind the bar and the bartender has a seat at the bar.
Slapping the bar, the bar tender kindly says, "Hey bartender, one beer please."
He replies, "Sorry, we do not serve your kind around here!!"
Topic: Lets change the mood ... Share some jokes (Read 302 times)
Mushroom walks into a bar and no one pays him any mind. Finally he catches the bartenders eye and says; "Hey bartender, can I get a beer? Bartender says; "Sorry sir we don't serve mushrooms here." Mushroom says; "Why not, I'm a fun guy." (fungi)
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Mushroom walks into a bar and no one pays him any mind. Finally he catches the bartenders eye and says; "Hey bartender, can I get a beer? Bartender says; "Sorry sir we don't serve mushrooms here." Mushroom says; "Why not, I'm a fun guy." (fungi)
Sorry, my apologies
Sorry, my apologies
1
Before Marriage:
Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get.
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)
2
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
Before Marriage:
Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get.
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)
2
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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