Why not hire one on Fiverr, if you have a tight budget they will create a simple looking website, you can start there, creating content is not an easy job, some freelancers are asking hundreds or even thousands of dollars to create customized content, and you want to hire them free for a future percentage, you can get a newbie designer but not a pro.
Really I just need a website built, it wouldn't have to look super insane. Just something that businesses could go to in order to see my services available and portfolio.
Why not try Wix then? It should be good enough for you.
If anyone finds Wix a pain in the ass then they are incompetent. A 5-year-old child can make a website on Wix with it's drag & drop editor.
If Wix is too tough for you, then use Weebly, or Squarespace, or even good old Jimdo.