Man wakes up to girlfriend biting off his junk

Spendulus

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Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

1. Strike up conversation on Internet with hot Phillipine girl
2. Go to visit. Land in Manilla, take small plane to remote island. Then take boat to island with girl. Bring case of decent wine.
3. Take ridiculous old THING that was once a truck down crazy roads to small village.
4. Feast eyes on hot girl and on nice Internet satellite comm system.
5. Negotiate with village chief for girl. Agree to three bottles of wine and a pig.
6. Find a pig and buy it, complete transaction with village chief.
8. Stop for lunch on way out at the regional Communist stronghold. They have good lunch I heard. Agree with them that they are hip. Agree with them that the guerrillas are bad. Tip well.
9. Bring girl back to the US.
10. Start wishing you were back with her on that island.
11. DO NOT attempt to do this multiple times while with first girl.

DLCseller

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Quote from: BADecker on February 22, 2015, 10:35:28 AM

Quote from: DLCseller on February 22, 2015, 10:01:26 AM

Dick eating sindrom, i repeat DICK EATING SINDROM!!

Almost as bad as the incorrect spelling syndrome. Roll Eyes

Haha, I forgot how to spell syndrome correctly.
Sorry man, im not from an English speaking country.

tee-rex

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Quote from: Lethn on February 22, 2015, 03:27:24 PM

Quote from: sickhouse on February 22, 2015, 11:42:17 AM

What a fucking bitch, hope she gets a long prison sentence.

Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

Well propably only 0.001% of the girls are psycotic enough to do this. If you want to feel safe order a Russian/Thai bride and treat her decently Wink

Having a Russian for a bride would make me even MORE paranoid.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/7866824/Russia-spy-Anna-Chapmans-husband-I-thought-I-knew-her.html

Fuck you I'm not marrying a sleeper agent! In more ways than one! lol Tongue

At least she didn't stab him in the back (or tried to bite his dick off). The lesson to take home from this story - never trust beautiful women, and beware of redheads!

Lethn

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Quote from: sickhouse on February 22, 2015, 11:42:17 AM

What a fucking bitch, hope she gets a long prison sentence.

Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

Well propably only 0.001% of the girls are psycotic enough to do this. If you want to feel safe order a Russian/Thai bride and treat her decently Wink

Having a Russian for a bride would make me even MORE paranoid.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/7866824/Russia-spy-Anna-Chapmans-husband-I-thought-I-knew-her.html

Fuck you I'm not marrying a sleeper agent! In more ways than one! lol Tongue

(oYo)

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I like boobies

Of course he woke up! Tongue

sickhouse

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What a fucking bitch, hope she gets a long prison sentence.

Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

Well propably only 0.001% of the girls are psycotic enough to do this. If you want to feel safe order a Russian/Thai bride and treat her decently Wink

BADecker

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Quote from: DLCseller on February 22, 2015, 10:01:26 AM

Dick eating sindrom, i repeat DICK EATING SINDROM!!

Almost as bad as the incorrect spelling syndrome. Roll Eyes

DLCseller

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Dick eating sindrom, i repeat DICK EATING SINDROM!!

Pif

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Ouch...wtf... I feel the pain.

bitwarrior

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That lady must be hungry and mad and a little bit crazy

Why on earth would she bite off her boyfriend's dick over an argument?
Be very careful next time on each girl your going to go home with

ðºÞæ

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Bitcoin © Maximalist

damn does late nite cravings

BADecker

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She forgot to brush her teeth first. He's gonna get infection for sure now. Grin

koshgel

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Wttttfff. No way else to take out your anger on your SO besides biting his dick off? God damn woman

ChiliPowder

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Can just see how this argument went

Your so needy I am going to sleep on the couch leave me alone.

Wakes up to needy bitch biting his dick off.

Chef Ramsay

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Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

Women are typically the last people you want to piss off cause there's nothing like the wrath of a woman scorned - so don't cross them is a good piece of advice. Retribution and vengeance happen when you're messing with the wrong one. Luckily, I've never had any of those types as I've always tended to be picky and I certainly am even more picky of the ones that I'd be willing to sleep with and always keep my business piece wrapped up cause I damn for sure don't want any kids or related baggage.

Lethn

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lol doesn't matter Tongue

also, I'm an Anarchist ffs, of course I'm against people trying to declare certain freedom of expression is morally wrong, which is what homosexuality falls under.

BADecker

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Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:56:10 PM

Quote from: BADecker on February 21, 2015, 10:50:53 PM

Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

All this time I have been thinking you were a girl, or are you? Cheesy

WTF?! I'm not a girl! LOL! Why else would I post in the hot asian girl thread?!

How would I know? Some girls do things like that at times. For example, the joint (though he probably is not a girl, either) is adamantly against anyone who even suggests that homosexuality is wrong.

EDIT: Sorry about my mistake.

Lethn

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Quote from: BADecker on February 21, 2015, 10:50:53 PM

Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

All this time I have been thinking you were a girl, or are you? Cheesy

WTF?! I'm not a girl! LOL! Why else would I post in the hot asian girl thread?!

BADecker

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Quote from: Lethn on February 21, 2015, 10:44:11 PM

You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

All this time I have been thinking you were a girl, or are you? Cheesy

Lethn

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You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath" Sad

Snipe85

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Infleum

"Amber Ellis was arrested for maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon."

I wonder what was considered the weapon, her teeth or the laptop. Cheesy

BADecker

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Sounds like she had positioning practice. Grin

Chef Ramsay

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Quote

TULSA - A night out drinking and an argument with his girlfriend nearly cost a Tulsa man his penis.

Officers responded to a Tulsa hospital early Thursday morning where a man claimed his girlfriend attacked him while he slept.

Amber Ellis was arrested for maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon.

According to the police report, the victim said he and his girlfriend were out drinking and began arguing while walking home "about how needy she had become." The couple verbally fought in the apartment until the victim told police Ellis stormed off, slamming the bedroom door.

Police say the victim fell asleep on the couch only to wake up to find Ellis "biting his (penis) off."

The victim told police he fought Ellis off but she hit him in the head with a laptop computer.

Once hospitalized, the victim received several stitches to the base of his penis and was treated for injuries to his head, face, neck, fingers and knee.

Ellis was taken into custody for an interview and ultimately booked into the Tulsa County Jail.

http://www.kjrh.com/news/local-news/woman-arrested-for-maiming-after-man-claims-girlfriend-tried-to-bite-his-penis-off

Looks like he lucked out, unlike that one dude who's broad threw acid on his johnson.

Topic: Man wakes up to girlfriend biting off his junk (Read 1404 times)