Topic: Marriage right wan de increase pass price of goods o! (Read 216 times)

During the times of our fathers, marriage been no dey this expensive and na why I don decide say when I go do am in the future, e go be small ceremony with only close friends and family. Because something that used to take sub 1M to complete (dowries, bride price, marriage budget, etc) don run into millions. I been get be neighbor during the time of Goodluck Jonathan, the list him in-laws give am been too much so him reject am and told them to do their worst say even if them wan carry their pikin make them do am - e get to a point when love for the girl dey reduce because pf pressure from in-laws. If na that time e dey expensive like that, now e suppose be insanely high.

It is so expensive that this people have forgotten that after marriage life continues and the man they are collecting from after everything they will still run to him to assist them in their problems. Is like we Nigerians no dey sabi all this one, our target is just to make money all in the name of marriage,  honestly e no really make sense the way we dey do this marriage something. Money that is being played for this marriage things is too much and e no really make sense.

Like eh, if you never marry only price of bride price is enough to make you back out, things don cost and who knows if update don reach village elders to also raise their price to suite as naira no too get value again, either way def the girls wet dey our generation suppose cheap cause you no fit compare them with our mother them both for character and doings.

Some communities bride price dey more expensive pass some and na why during dating you supposed don dey know all this things so you either prepare or break up if your pocket no reach make you no go do introduction finish come run because of bride price, the story go funny.

The thing is that some of these parents or maybe their culture has given them this low mentality that charging huge money for your daughters hand in marriage is actually the best thing and most even go as far as comparing the cost of living to the money that they in-law gives them stating that the money should be able to cover some of their needs and that's a really crazy idea if you ask me .

This marriage right of a thing has made many of our young ladies grow old in their fathers house due to high price and expenditures involved. As time goes on it now became worst due to the high prices of things in the country, it was as if parents were now selling there daughters out as tradition demands and this cost was really affecting our young men who are interested to marry ending up getting a lady pregnant having children out of wedlock.
It was later our king saw what was happening and decided to call a meeting with his elders on a way to reduce the list price which was later achieved that was how our youth started getting married because the price list was now affordable to be paid, if not for the current country inflation now. Ordinarily this marriage right of a thing is not something that the price list should be so high, the Kings and elders of our land really need to do something about it because it has lead  many of our young guys to late marriage.

This country is in lapses at this point so we should expect everything to be skyrocketing, though the marriage rites are for individual family, I don't attribute it to the government but the people, do you know that most time we the people are our own problem, if you are collecting huge amount of money from your inlaws to marry your daughter, the question I ask is that are indirectly telling people that you want to sell off your daughter because the the little I know about this marriage right of a thing is just a tradition to give out her hand in marriage and the rites is suppose to be tradition stuffs with very little amount of money but it has been modernised by our so called parents and community elders, God will help Nigeria.

Lol..... Omo as e be for this our country Naija, nothing won carry last o, everything won cost at all times, even the least thing way we think say na the least thing no be least thing again o, if everything dey cost while bride price no go increase? Everything or everyone won benefits from one thing or the other to take chop, if na side person won use get small thing to take hold e side, na where person dey work na belle dey, so people way dey in charge of marriage rights go add small thing to take benefits small too, but no be only about marriage rights sha, na the things involve like drinks and kolanuts etc.

Omo no be small thing oh Op,marriage right wan de increase pass price of goods.Funny enough the inflation reach everything for Naija marriage list is not exempted.Even some tribes in Naija do pay death price like I haven't still gotten clarity on that.The thing is that make in-laws try dey calm down,abi dem no know say menopause dey real?.

Na high bride price dey pursue suitors.Some people wey no get money to take pay high bride price dey go as far as to borrow loan with interest just to pay the bride price.After the everything don finish the groom go con dey pay gbese wey demands dey to meet up.

Honestly speaking, this high bride Price has really affected our men and women who are willing to get married but due to lack of finance to meet up all the marital rights of the bride alot of our girls and boys that are due for marriage have been unmarried.

You look at the streets you see alot of unmarried girls both single mothers I begin to wonder if their parents doesn't know that a woman's value tends to fade as time goes on because of menopause some girls on their own even feels that they're too pretty to accept bride Price that are not equal to their standards and the worst part of it is that those girls that claims slay queens and high class girls are from poor families that doesn't have anything to write home about. Some parents begins to calculate the expenses they made on their daughters through attaining education.

It is important to know that marriage is a mutual feeling between two people who have accepted each other to become husband and wife so imposing high bride prices is just a way of hindering their daughters from getting married, some girls that couldn't wait for their bride prices to be paid forces their self to premarital pregnancy. Single mothers everywhere of which most of the births are out of wedluck.

It is about time to think about the future as we can't channel all our challenges to the government. With the situation that surround marriages now for me I just think that the government should stamp a fixed price that should be paid to brides family and any family that goes against the stipulated price should pay a fine and possible punishment.
Our daughters should get married as most of them are approaching menopause just because they're looking for someone that will pay high bride price.

To be honest, the problem of the high bride price is affecting a lot of relationships nowadays. The most painful thing about it is that some of our parents were the ones who first caused it.
They paid their bride price with little amount, which is what made their marriage blessed. I'm not sure how they forgot that.
We understand that marriage is not recognised without a bride price, but not by placing all of your family's problems on the shoulders of another person.

They need to understand that bride price is paid by a man to expresses the love he has for his wife meaning that it is a reward and an honour to show appreciation. I have witnessed numerous couples whose marriages have become unstable due to excessive bride prices.

I'm not against it, but they shouldn't turn it into a competition because, as you can see, there are families nowadays that are struggling financially and still want to compare their bride price to that of a wealthy family. We should learn to cut our clothes according to our size. in my opinion it's something that our parents need to look in to.

My brother go collect marriage list and everything boiled at #1.2M, him ask for negotiation the fiancee family say no.
My brother almost backed off but say him live the fiancee him do all best to meet up with the demand and them finally married.
Him tell him wife say anyday her family person (s) go com visit say them no go stay overnight, him tell the girl say anyday she go go see her people say she no go stay overnight.
And him tell the wife say on no account him go visit her family to participate on anything for the wife their family.

Him dey always form busy when the wife family people call am on phone til the father and mother-in-law's go meet am for house one day start dey question am with authoritative manners and him ask the say ... I dey owe una ? Shey una bill me on a golden value for goods I com buy from una (bride price) like tomorrow no dey again, now how I take owe una for all this disturbance?
Na so mama and papa keep mouth shut even their daughter understand her husband deep feelings.
They go back that day with a caution tape not to com him house again parading as inlaws cuz him buy their daughter not a bride price.

The wife don beg husband to forgive her parents him threatened the wife to pick second wife if she talk about het parents to him ears again.
Til date the wife family be like Ex for the husband and wife family.

When u practice and exercises ur inhumanity of people, u just dey breed armies against urself and building laying bricks wall way fit bridge u from crossing over to a better view.

Marriage bride price no supposed be like when una want sell una daughter or like say una no go ask for a cup of water from una inlaw again after marrying una daughter.

I don observe one thing concerning this bride price thing. And wetin you talk dey common for the south east side. Even if e dey common for other tribes e no reach the south east own For naija they're  commonly known for that.
I don witness situation where a man has a super market, time to pay bride price and marriage ceremony he use all he working money and savings do marriage and now the super market don fall. I dey see situations many like that, lol, thing dey happen sha. In this kind case who should we blame ?
The man or the brides family.
Most families go say na the tradition and na must to pay that big money all in the name of bride price but consequence dey.

This matter na really serious matter for our country, many men are willing to marry but what it will cost them to get a wife na them make them dey as if them dey enjoy single life. This custom is way family take dey generate money from their in laws which e no too make sense. The money wey dem dey call for marriage matter no be small money,  e reach money wey the young couples go fit take start up good business or even to buy small piece of land to start a good life.

Some people after them Don save money to go marry wife, after marriage expensive e dey hard for them to recover financially due to the money wey dem don spend for marriage,  it is not easy.

These higher bride price demand of a thing has painted some community negatively and their leaders has turned a blind eye towards it, for example, as a small boy learning computer repairs at Enugu state back then, I watched my boss go for marriage activities at Mbaise in IMO state and return without completing it because the list was unimaginable and even with the support of his friends, it was very much above their reach, he was very unhappy and because of how he loved the lady, he had to shift his marriage by six months to be able to meet up. There, myself and some of my fellow apprentices vowed never to marry from that part of the country and I still hold that belief till present. My boss completed his marriage, but banned his in-laws from coming to his house and his wife from visiting her people because he feels he already bought her.

Now my question is??

• what if my boss never came back to finish what he started
• what if this has created hard feelings between him and his in-laws

The girl may have not been married by then and lose a relationship of almost  five years to start afresh with another person if at all. This is entirely bad to be honest.
Parents and community heads should be aware of the dangers they put their children to by enacting inhuman rules regarding marriage. The sins of the fathers has to stop haunting the children at this time when everybody is exposed and knows vividly that there's more to marriage than just paying bride price.

Op,  no be family dey draft list of way tin their inlaws go pay for their daughter's head. Each community dey gets a marriage list and now part of their culture be that. E dey good to ask the girl way you dey date to tell you how much person fit marry for her community make you know if you go fit to afford the money. E get some inlaws way dey charge their daughter's husband small money self. For example, if you suppose to pay your wife's father and mother 100k naira each they might just decide to take 70k naira each from you, while other community family members no go pity you for one day because na their culture be that, you must pay all of them complete.

In my community marriage dey very cheap because our king reduces every payment to small money to make tins easy for everyone. Even though you no from my community nobody go fit cheat you because e get book way your in-laws go give you, you go see the money way you suppose pay everybody way dey involved for the marriage rite.
 

Omor I done observe am say as things done cost for this we country so, everything self done add price and as things done cost e no go fit come down again until further notice. Now way even bride price done cost, just imagine am for those traditions way even before things they normal their own bride price high come talk more of now way things done cost, nai be say, no body go fit marry for those places again o. According to watin our neighbor for were I dey live talk, say now nobody dey go look for woman again, say nah food way them go chop nai them dey find so that them go fit survive, and this nah one of the things way most of them done put for their mind, say nah survival first, if you look am one side nah the real matter be that, no body go look man face if money no dey em pocket.

Sincerely this marriage right matter taya me oh. Marriage right don com be like say, na buy I don come buy the woman. By the time u go dey through with pay pay,  you don dey run into financial crisis all in the name marriage. My own be say if I pay those big money finish on top marriage, my in-laws no go near my house again, I don't know what you will be looking for in my house after collecting huge amount from me

This is something to look into because I have many girlfriends who are yet to get married due to the high pride price list, naturally is culture and not a thing our fathers or mother's should handle because when Mrs. A has accepted some specific amount from their Inlaw due to culture of a thing Mrs. B won't like to go against their tradition rather would want to compete with others. During my own time it wasn't like that though it was all paid and settled but we should be mindful at the rate at which family's do extort their inlaw's that is coming to marry their daughters, I could remembered vividly when my father tried to messed up my husband I walked up to him telling him that he should accept whatever my husband's people said because after here there are more to bear in the marriage than just putting eyes in the marriage rights.

See our father's always forgotten that marriage is an extended family where if their daughter get married today, whatever that comes up within our family my husband has to contribute at least 20 to 30 percent but if he channeled all his effort in paying marriage rights do you think he would look after you people when I am finally taken from you people?
He listened and changes his mind then he left with no options because we knew that the truth are always bitter, then I think everything went successfully without any delay since there's now a mutual understanding between us and our inlaws.

We the women has a very important role to play during our marriage day, just that most of us chooses to be showing off to make sure my wedding or traditional is much more higher than Mrs. B so we have to showcase our selves in the name that my husband is the highest builder, my dear see there are much than paying marriage rights because after that comes reality, you have to plan for the family, how to manage things including your children by then our parents are no longer their to over see whatever we are passing through. Therefore I suggest anyone choosing to marry should be very mindful and careful before jumping into marriage since this is not boyfriend and girlfriends, in boyfriends you can decide to walk away but in marriage whenever the woman decides to leave, and with the side of our country we came from they would count her as an irresponsible woman which to have another man could be that deem difficult because your records has been already spread around village, community and the nearby community.

Choose wisely my people make you no do mistake oo, this journey no be to spend 1 hrs romancing and kissing

Omo survival instinct no be your mate o... everything don cast so bride price gat follow them. Like this now, I dey pity people wey never marry o because from rice to meet to wedding gown and down to drinks, everything don cast. Now come add bride price wey them don remove subsidy untop.... omo people go either turn reverend father or marry for credit later them pay.

The issue on what and how much is to be paid when you meet your in-laws to seek their daughter's hand in marriage is something that should be seriously looked into. I meant, some family have a drafted list of goods, materials and payment to be made by any man coming to marry their daughter with little or no consideration on the persons financial status. It gets even worse in cases where families will be comparing their list of items with that of their Neighbours just to make sure that there's is higher and will in the process frustrate the innocent man that is just trying to start his life.

Because of these, some men have left their fiancée halfway because they can't spend such amount of money and after the marriage suffer to take care of their family. Some, in the process of meeting these demands have incurred huge debt just because they want to meet up with the demand.

I have a relative in her early 30s who is yet unmarried because the fiancée is still trying to save money to meet up with the dowries and expenses involved in the marriage process and menopause is looking at them with one eye.

Personally, I feel if two persons have agreed to get married, it should be a thing of joy to the two families involved and the best they should think of is to support this young people trying to start up a family of their own with any resource (both financial and whatever) at their disposal and not use the opportunity to drain them off the little thing they have.