Topic: Marriage vs. Divorce (Read 798 times)

First of all is not just between a man and a woman.

People these days marry robots, men marry men, women marry women etc.

Marriage is about trust, friendship and of course love.

When the trust is gone, the marriage is over, IMHO.

Marriage is legal binding between a man and woman who decided and committed to love each other for the rest of their life...it's a decision one does in spite the changing of season or feelings. Love is not just a feeling to love a  person for as long as he/she like but leave when he/she no longer wants but rather it is a commitment, dedication and mutual decision between two person.

Some said that through the course of your marriage, the sparks may go out,the sweet moments may wear out, all that will remain is friendship. Marriage is never a guarantee of a storm free life with our spouse, but rather a storm proof life. Storms and difficulties are constant in a relationship and should never be an excuse to leave each other. All the more we should love each other. Divorce should never be an option but rather rekindling feelings is.

Marriage is something a holy thing that God has left for the human. There is a saying that marriages were made in heaven, when God has a plan for us we should not try to get out of the bonding. There can be obligations, misunderstanding, infidelity, lack of responsibility, etc. But, the core thing is to lead a life together which is a possible thing from my personal thoughts about marriage.

Marriage is a union of two persons who loved each other and promise of lifetime. If a married couple came to a point where they aren't happy anymore and a divorce is the only way, I never believed in that. Love cannot be just diminished by time. It is lost somewhere but it will never be gone. If two people really love each other, they will always find a way to restore it. I think that talking with each other would be a great start for it. That's why Divorce is not an option take for two lovers who really love each other. Love is somewhere there, they should have to find it.

These times when people were in marriage "just for marriage" have already passed. And nowadays there is no shame to get divorced or even being alone. And that's good, as if society pressure people they will just get problems as decision is made under pressure of norms, standarts. People, don't live according to standarts, do what you think with your own mind is needed to do.
And if to talk about fake marriage - that's not our business, people obviously have reasons

Marriage has bindings with the law and religion. Now, it is important that if you proceed with getting married you will be liable to your bindings. Problem nowadays, everything is fast paced. For instance, you can shop without going to the mall and instantly get it at your doorstep. The current trend of easily getting what we want seems to reflect that whenever people in a relationship face even the smallest obstacles, they ought to not fix it and let the relationship break down. If we look back to our parents or grandparents time, they would really work hard to even just be in a relationship. Courtship was way harder, communication, buying gifts, etc.

Then again one of my closest friends asked me this.
"What if you are both not happy anymore. Should the Marriage continue?".
I said "Make it work".
He asks "What if someone is violent and ends up physically hurting the other?".

Then divorce might be the best solution for it. Nonetheless, one must choose carefully when getting married and not rush things.

I think marriage is the constant understanding of each other in life and love, which requires mutual tolerance and spiritual communication. If it is because of the fissures caused by infidelity or irresponsibility, it is difficult to repair perhaps divorce is a good choice, but many of these are due to the lack of mutual concern and communication between the two sides, and I think marriage is like a business that needs to be managed well.

you wrote everything right.I want to add.before you get married you need to evaluate objectively your second half. as she behaves in difficult situations as she prepares and most importantly, is there really LOVE?Love that you can't fake.which is in the heart.

Your statement doesn't make any sense. If a couple is not capable of living in peace, then they should separate. Else, it will only give rise to more and more troubles. But the most important thing to remember here is that they should think about it a hundred times before taking the decision to break-off.

I believe that there is no perfect marriage, no perfect couple. which marriage has a sacred promise of both couple that for better or for worse for richer and for poorer til death they were part. both of them should adjust and accept their weaknesses. after all, before they get married, first the boy courted the girl without knowing all of that person. so if you accept all the changes of your married life, one should adjust and give their best to make that marriage life works.

Maybe it's cause my parents are divorced and both seem really happy, but I don't think you should stay married to someone who makes you miserable. There are marriages that suck just as a result of bad fit, nothing more, and those are the ones that should probably not continue anymore.

In my opinion, Marriage for me is sacred a union between a man and a woman. According to the Bible," what God has put together , No man can put them apart" So my stand will be Pro marriage. I think before a person gets married he or she should think seventy seven times because I believe  that  "marriage is not a play thing or it is a serious matter that you can't back out easily.  So if you truly love someone and if you get married see to it that you prove your love till the end. Be serious about it. If can't last your marriage a lifetime don't commit your self , don't get into a situation that you can't make it till the end. Your Yes should be Yes and promises should not be made to be broken. So before getting married think more than twice and be firm to your decision no matter what.

Marriage truly is a sacred union. The two families get married through discussions. Who does not want happy bridal life? But that happiness does not match everyone's life. The life of many couples became poisoned on minor issues. Very unexpectedly, there were many different events happening one after another. The result of which is the divorce separation. The usual type of evidence that occurs before the wedding break is:
The quarrel between husband and wife lies in the quarrel.
Because of understanding is not right of between.
Love and tolerance are not right between husband and wife.

If I will be on that situation , I will still love her no matter what happen , I will never file a divorce , like you said on the first paragraph a man and woman who are deeply in love with each other , even the time come will there is no fire anymore.

The memories will serve as a fuel and little by little it will burn and suddenly the fire will become big again.

On the other hand , although we have the same perspective still we have a choice , but remember that you comit it , its your responisiblity.

I think that in this case it is necessary to address to the family psychologist. I like the opinion of a friend of mine who thinks marriage is unnecessary. A man starts a family only for the continuation of the genus. You only need a wife to have a baby with you. But otherwise the man doesn't have to deny yourself the pleasure to have sex with others. This is a departure to the primitive system, if it were now, the problems would be less.

Marriage truly is a sacred union. It is known in catholic church as a sacrament of holy matrimony. It is expected that before a man and a woman should come together as husband and wife, love, understanding, interest, tolerance, endurance and every other features that unites relationship and marriage are in existence between both of them. However, if along the line, these features that brings happiness and joy in marriage are lost, the marriage remains boring to both parties. As for me, when it matters on infidelity, my confidence and trust on my partner is no longer assured, then it becomes dangerous to cohabit. At this point if steps are not retraced back, divorce become the next option.

I know to some people happiness is what matters the most when it comes to marriage. However, if I were in such position, I would definitely consider fixing it or even consult a marriage counselor to save our marriage. Most of the times, a rocky marriage is due to a misunderstanding. We think that it's just our partners choice to cheat on us and be irresponsible, but we missed and forgot that we could also be the reason for their infidelity. It could definitely go back to the way it was if we learn how to open up to one another.

First I would snap get a divorce because what is the point of being unhappy that is the dumbest thing anybody could do. Second I hope you had a pre-nup because if you didn't your ass is getting taken most likely in court. I also hope you didn't have a kid with this women because more likely than not, you will lose access to them to (for no good reason). If I were ever to get a marriage it would involve a pre-nup and I would maybe get a post-nup.

I wonder why people do great marriage parties instead of doing fabulous divorce parties. Marriage is never as necessary as Divorce is, when divorce is necessary.

If the marriage is not working for both parties, I think it is a wise decision to file for a divorce. There are times that it will not just work for us no matter how hard we try. I still believe that if love is there, it can overcome any problem in a relationship. If a relationship is not working, maybe both parties lack effort. Just loving your partner is not enough in a relationship. It requires passion, commitment and a huge amount of effort to make your lives better.

For my opinion i rather stay though , its not just by commitment , its a promises you both made in the front of God , for sickness and health , and etc... its like a fire though , days by days and years by years the fire will decrease or should i say it can gone , but its a choice , both of you have a choice , do anything to spark it up.

Obviously marriage is a lifetime commitment. But at the same time, there is no point in staying together if the couple feel that they are not compatible to each other. Going through a lengthy legal battle will only deepen the wounds and worsen the financial situation for both the parties.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Sometimes loving your partner is not enough to pull the marriage through till the end, try talking to your partner, look at how you got to that low point and try to fix things back, but if everything fails then find peace elsewhere. Marriage vows says "until death" but you're not gonna want to just sit there and wish to die quicker so you can get out of the marriage.

There are many incidents involving the separation of marriage, which is nothing new to say, marriage is a combination of men and women, giving some people the validity of having two men together. Marriage is a marriage, a marital life, a way of life, many people think that they have no marriage, they do not want to live with each other, they want to be separated, the separation is the separation of marriage.

First of all, marriage is not like a food that you will eat and if it is too hot that you can just spit right away. But if your marriage comes to a point that your partner is no longer happy with your marriage and started doing things like infidelity, or you're starting to hit each other or starting to neglect all the responsibilities that are assigned to him/her, in my opinion, that's the time to call it quits and file a divorce, not to mention if you already have kids, and they are seeing all the things that are happening around them, it is not good for them. This is my opinion and I am also looking forward to knowing what you think. 

Marriage and divorce. Both will seem like good ideas at the time. Both will end up disappointing you.

Being married is the hardest thing that needs to be done in our life.

You might be the richest individual on the planet but despite that, you can't ensure yourself a good relationship. Money can't buy happiness but it can buy something that will make you happy. If the fire in our relationship do not work, what will I do next is based on what we have.

If we are only two, maybe married for two years and it is now not working I will really consider to plan a divorce but if we have kids, maybe two or three of them I think I will not plan to file a divorce since I will not be staying in that relationship because I love her but because I love my family, I love my children and I doing it just for them. I don't want my children to be affected by our divorce.

The main reason why marriage exist is because of great love of two people for each other. But I think that marriage is way beyond enjoying yourselves and "loving" all the time. Marriage is a responsibility especially if you have kids to take care of. But what if that love that is the foundation of all of these vanished? Or starting to fade away? Is it enough reason for you to get divorced? Personally,  I don't think so. Because im the first place, I think that love don't just vanished. It won't be lost, it is just it is covered by another greater love. The key here is communication. Both parties must talk about their problems and how they feel. They must know what are their duties and responsibilities are as the parent in the household. If that doesn't work, try until it will. But not to the point yhat you physically hurt each other. Always go back to the reason why you married each other.

Oh! I am also married and I feel that i am not inlove my partner anymore but I'm still show to my partner that I am still care and love  because we have a child and yes because of the commitment. Sometimes I want to quit especially the times that we're not in good terms . I feel pity  to my self cause I feel I'm not free for what I want to do and I'm only fooling my self for doing a things that suppose to be don't. I think if I can afford a divorce I will file. So for me you need a divorce married without love is like a big shit! and if your partner did not do the responsibility it means there is no love anymore. So divorce  is the solution for you to be both happy.

I believe the sacredness of marriage, but today it is just one of the most valuable treasure in the history forgotten by this new age.

The traditional definition of marriage is something like chocking in a throat because of different reasons of each individual in this liberal world.

I really love the former way and if there is an ultimate way to restore it I will devote myself to participate.

i have seen many superstars being ruined by divorce and I have seen a lot of people that were made by marriages. All I will say is marriage is good but divorce is devastating. If you intend getting married make up your mind to make it work at all cost. Most divorce is caused by one neglect or the other. Consider every event between you and your spouse seriously. Make your marriage your priority. When it is working it is sweet. Sweeter than anything else you might want to pursue so make it work for if it ever crashes every party must bleed. As for those that are already in a bad marriage never give up hope. One thing I will tell you is forget your ego if you must restore it.

I think marriage is great.  It's challenging at times, comes with a ton of added responsibilities and sacrifices, but I believe the end result is incredible if it is done properly and with selflessness.  I've seen a lot of marriages fail, but the ones that succeed enrich the lives of many and serve as a model for providing a legacy of children and love that lasts long beyond the lives of the couple.  The quality of a marriage is only great if both parties are willing to put aside their own desires at times for the betterment of their relationship and family, but once again, it's well worth it. For about divorce, it's something that people do to get out of a bad situation.  I also think that it is something that is best done very carefully or the people involved may find themselves going from a bad situation to a worse one.

   I would prefer to divorce in case my wife became irresponsible of her obligations. I want to live in comfortable conditions, I want to trust my family and build our happiness together.
   Infidelity does not touch me much, I can not imagine how people may sleep together all life long, it seems to be boredom. I would rather prefer to establish some rules for our entertainments outsibe of the family; come back home at night, dont spend familys budget for lovers etc.

Marriage is a sacred Union between couples where love and commitment is the number foundation for it to work. their is a fine thin line that separates loving from loathing also in marriage and divorce. Divorce in some country is not legal. Some divorce are caused of misunderstanding and mistrust through this it can create havoc in your marriage. You must listen to each other side so that you can clear what ever what ifs you have in your mind. So before we decide to marry we should accept what ever flaws our partners have.

Some monthes ago I found a good book "The 5 Love Languages" describing the essence of all problems in relationships.... Prime cause. Each of us knows it.. but so often forget ... It's the small 2-4-hours-reading book will help to remind it, to understand WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG... and WHAT YOU SHOULD DO to be loved and give love on the right way.

When I read I found the real reason of my parents' divorce...OMG It was so obvious. I shouted WHY? Why didn't they do it??? Why didn't they know it??? Why do people continue make the same mistakes??
It reminded me my bad bahavior in relationship not only with man, but with each person in my life...How many things I made wrong
Now I exactly know what I should do to avoid it in future.

I recommend it everyone. Especially if you are in relationship and face problems of misunderstanding and love dissapearance.

http://youth-portal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/the-5-love-languages-the-secret-to-love-that-lasts.pdf

Enjoy the reading. Good luck in your relationship work

Love is not just a feeling, and it is a commitment. In the first place, why would you marry someone whom you're not sure of? Loving that person means you accept him/her for whoever he/she is, you've seen them through their most desperate times and of course, the best yet you still choose and want to be with them, come what may. If there comes a time that the spark is slowly fading, run back to your fondest memories, relive the moments, talk about it like you're best friends, it's worth a shot. If you really want to save your marriage because you LOVE him/her. But if you don't want it to work, then there's always another way out before you file your divorce. Give it a long thought. Feelings fade, problems come & go, and separation is a one-time signing. Stay for the right reasons, and if there are none, then why are you reading this thread?

Marriage is about also making a  contract with your partner! To his half, your partner maybe lacking with something else but that's your role as the partner to fill what's missing. And when a time you feel something wrong ask your partner, if you need anything else ask your partner, don't make decision on your own! Consult your partner because it will make your bond, trust, love with each other become strong!!

Some divorce are cause by pride, jealousy and being greedy.... you want something from your partner but sometimes they can't give it to you and they try to look it into another person... they don't value the respect and capabilities of each other... sometime they compete with each other who achieved more but that is not marriage all about...

So before entering  vows make sure you are ready to accept your partner's ugly side, the stupid , their incompetence,  and what they are.

Malachi 2:16

We vowed to stick with the person we love through thick and thin and as we have promised, we make this happen since it is a part of our commitment. I believe that it isn't hard to face the trials of a married life but I believe that nothing is impossible if we do it with love. Trials would make a relationship stronger. We must also consider our kids who will suffer if we quit or surrender, they would be the ones who would get affected.

I will surely try to hold on to my marriage. I will try everything to make our relationship works, for the fire of love between us ignite again. I will hold on to our vow during our marriage that we will be together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer til death do us part. And i am sure my husband will do the same as we were both raise with value in family togetherness. So help us God.

Problems between husband and wife are a common thing. The real problem is could you handle that situation and survive your marriage life. Many couple couldn't handle it and decided to get divorced. As for me, if you can forgive your partner then give them a second chance. Because we are only human and human makes mistakes. But if you can't stand their attitude, maybe your husband hit you a lot, tend to crush things, then yes you can have a divorce. Better to separate before it's too late.

As the OP said, marriage is a commitment of two persons. Thse differences could be managed and changed with the right help and guidance. But then again i still agree with divorce. I wouldn't want my daughter to stay in a marriage if she's being battered with in an inch of her life. If my grandchildren are abused physically and emotionally. Yes, marriage is lasting covenant with a higher power. But staying in a dying one is hell in its self. I hope we don't abuse divorce as a way out.

Yes thats right. Marriage is sacred and no man can separate what  God has join together. If that happens in your marriage,  I believe it can still be settled. They need to forgive each other and forget the past. Workout your relationship. Dont bring out the past and.mistakes of each other everytime you quarrel. It will not help your relationship. If your husband or wife decided to go despite of the effort you did,  dont divorce. Pray for him,  wait patiently. If he is meant for you,  he will come back.

I agreed Marriage was a sacred thing in the sight of God. But for what is happening now most couple got separated and Divorce in most countries are the one who is most applied and here in my country since there is no divorce here annulment is the one was applied here.

Marriage is a pact you have made with your partner and with God. You both made your vows and should stick by your word. But it will all depend if the situation is diffrerent. If you have made all the efforts to make it work or if there are factors to consider that could really be a deal-breaker like abuse, infidelity, etc, then maybe that's the time Divorce becomes an option. Why put yourself in a situation wherein you're not happy and you're no longer valued? But it all comes to this, you should make sure that you're 100% sure and confident that you and your partner will honor your vows and make sure that you guys work together in order to make the marriage work.

Marriage and divorce nowadays is a serious topic because many marriages are ending up in divorce.The causes could be many to talk about.Many couple after marriage release that they did not really love the person that they married and a lot of issues start to display which can lead to divorce.Some of these problems that lead to divorce are cheating in marriage,unsatisfactory sexual life etc.But once married,efforts should be made to keep the marriage until death.

It's easy to say that when you're in a happy marriage or a semblance of one. But what if your partner is abusive? What if your partner hurts your kids? What if they cheat on you multiple times? What if your partner tried to literally kill you but failed? Would you still hold to your shared vows even if you're the only one holding it? Yes marriage is a sacred bond. But people change and sometimes for the worse. So yes, i agree with divorce so long as we don't abuse it.

Marriage is a sacred sacrament,it is union between man and a woman who inlove with each,promising the vow of loving each other even poorer or richier,in the time of happines and sadness...I still hold on to marriage what ever happenes

I will still hold on to our marriage.  And divorse will never be my option. Because marriage requires acceptance and we should work out on it whenever you got to the point where your both differences appeared.  Except when there is a physical harassment involved. 

As for me marriage is a companionship between two individual that was build with foundation of trust and nourished by love.  It's between two people that have mutual understanding, in any relationship we cannot avoid to have a problems or misunderstandings and for me it's not the reason to give up easily on your partner because you are now considered to be as one. You two have to face the problem together. A strong bound of relationship do not require divorce.

Patience, understanding and communication to your partner is the key to successful marriage. Let God be the center of your relationship. Have a blast!

Therefore you must think over and over again before getting married, marriage isnt just about love, because when loves gone, like you said your reason to be together is gone too.. But if you two already got children/s , well there is things must be considered more than just love, this is for the sake of your children/s..

A union of two hearts in love with one another binded by martiage is a life long decision that someone must take note. Marriage should not be just an act to fullfill life. It is a serious matter on whom you are to spend your beautiful life with. We all should look forward into marriage as no one can even seperate you with your partner. Never think pf getting a divorce for marriage is sacred.

In my opinion, if divorce will be implemented in all nation and states, there is a tendency that the population will grow up more, why? The lust of the people can't be controlled, if they want to make love with other people, they are free to do that because marriage can be nulled. I am pro with marriage and I want don't to have divorce.

With my opinion and life prespective, your not kid anymore with marriage. You have a commitment after God's presence and it if very sacred that you pledge that you will hold on to that relationship even if its hard or just like what you have mentioned. Love is a Choice or desicion, love doesnt have to on fire always love is when you cant find good to your partner and still choose to stay to understand them.

Remind yourself that you fell in love with this person for a reason. If you truly loved him before then your love can't go away. In the Bible, there are several qualities of love. Here is a famous passage: "1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away".
Love never ends

You interpreted my mindset quite well. I really don't plan to get married because I don't see a value for me to do so.
A relationship can work as well or as bad if you are married or not.

If you love your choosen partner until the bitter end and your partner feel the same for you that's the perfect scenario which often enough happens.
But don't forget the other people who don't have the luck to find their soul mate. I don't think those couples should stay together when they don't love each other anymore. But of course you should first try to work on the relationship and try to fix it before going separated ways. I don't mean you should give up a relationship after the first small discrepancy.

You say, the person you married becomes your closest family. I agree with that. But sometimes it happens that this person becomes your biggest enemy.

When there are children involved it gets more complicated but even then I think it can be better when the parents don't live together. If a child get love by separate living parents or even get love by only one parent it can be better than parents who constantly fight each other.

And also if they stay in the relationship it will prevent them that they can find a better partner.


That's the main problem. Too much people don't follow this rule. They rush with the decission to marry someone and then wonder why the relationship did not hold.

If there is really no other way, I would not stand the marriage for the sake of any commitment or children... If two people already look in different directions and their views don't suit each other, what's the reason to waste one another's time?

You are right that marriage is sacred and should be treasured. But to define it nowadays as sacred is hard to accept because of negative cases which was end up to separation or divorce. So I think the definition about marriage is not acceptable as the major reason but it is only depends for each couple since the image of marriage is already broken and the evidence is very rampant already.

If your not given another chance to your partner to rebuild again from healthy relationship due to her infidelity, irresponsible,and causing you to lose your love with him  its better to divorce than stay at bad marriage life,because life is short don't waste your time to spend with him despite unhealthy relationship,but on other side some christian religions belief that marriage life well also holy in the eyes of god,

In that situation, it is not hard to fix it, both of you need to talk all the problems you encountered and you must true to your self telling what are your feelings and don't think that it will hurt him/her because telling the truth can keep your relationship stronger. There are lots of ways that a relationship is no longer working or unhappy, first is sex, if both of you are not aggressive then you need to talk about that, having great sex is having a great relationship so it will not go to divorce.

Divorce is just formality by law. In today's society, married couples take their separate ways with or without divorce. The sanctity of marriage isn't given as much importance as before. Sadly, people take these thinga lightly.

That's a fair point, but with that mindset - marriage is not for you. Why would you get married and pledge your life-long commitment ("for good and bad... until death do us part") if all you really mean is "until I'm 100% satisfied".

The idea behind marriage is (was?) to start a family. The person you married becomes your closest family, and you don't abandon/replace your family even when things get rough, you work it through. Can you imagine anyone abandoning their child or mother because 'things weren't very great between us lately'?

But sadly, that only worked when divorces were rare and socially unacceptable. You simply had no other way but to make things work and fix your relationship. Currently, when things go bad, the first thought is "am I better off alone?" or "would I be happier with someone else?".

Relationship dynamics are a motherfucker. With loose social/religious norms it's hard to pull off a lifelong relationships, unless both parties got it figured out and know exactly what they want. That's why marriage rates are higher (and divorce rates lower) in the upper class, when people tend to be more intelligent.

In short: Don't get married if you're not ready to commit 100%.

In marriage life trust is the most important thing to build strong relationship,without trust your marriage life well not exist ,divorce well happen if your marriage life well not  be able to rebuild again from mistake,but depend upon to situation,because some partner will be arrogant to doing divorce despite well have also mistake to each other,and when it happen,some children will also supper to their emotional aspect,so that as a parent you must consider the following aspect,

my opinion is i'm going to file a divorce. because i need to be happy in a sense of my partner is being  responsible to obligations. every body wants to be happy and finding some one who is responsible and valuing relationship. 

Well, you must understand each other very well Or there are problems encountered because there is not much about each other,My friend, he only watched the wife's looks and got married, and now they are separated.

If there is no more love in the relationship it's just stupid to stay together.

If one partner in a relationship is not happy anymore, the other partner will also feel it and will also become unhappy.
If you stay together just for any artificial reason like 'it's sacred' or 'we committed long time ago' you will just make everybody involved unhappy.

So, if there is no chance anymore to save the relationship, quit it. It will help you and your partner in the long turn.

Don't waste time with the wrong partner. And if the partner is right or wrong can change over time as people also change over time.

Marriage is a sacred union between man and woman who are deeply in love with each other. But what if you come to a point that you are no longer happy with your marriage, or you feel that your love gets weaker after several years due to infidelity of your partner, or being irresponsible of his/her obligations? Would you file for a divorce or will you hold on to your marriage not because you love your partner but because it's your commitment? Just wanted to know your opinion. Thank you!