Topic: My advice: A gambling addict brother. (Read 648 times)
It's nice to help people but it's also a thing to take care of yourself in order to still be happy to be able to help méritant/good people deserving it
Have taken time to read through your replies and almost all the comments are in support of the advise I gave out as being the right thing to do although there were mixed reactions, and some had to back their support with good reasons which am very fascinated with.
You know it's not that easy having someone run into you unexpectedly requesting for advise you really didn't prepare for. But am now cool, less worried after all you guys had said. And I really appreciate getting those responses. I believe it's time I lock the thread as earlier noted. .
cheers
You know it's not that easy having someone run into you unexpectedly requesting for advise you really didn't prepare for. But am now cool, less worried after all you guys had said. And I really appreciate getting those responses. I believe it's time I lock the thread as earlier noted. .
cheers
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I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved.
Which is exactly what the brother was doing: looking out for himself and his hard-earned money, trying to protect it from the relatives who have chosen to damage his life with gambling.Given such a person's money for whatever purpose they claim it's for, it is a complete waste of money, and it will not be put to good use if they have already proven to be reckless when it comes to gambling.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
Don't feel bad about that. If you have said the right thing to do for that guy, you don't have to blame yourself and think that you've given a bad tip to him. You said it right and you help him to knock himself into reality that he's not always there for his brother. Don't help his brother to catch more of his addiction through giving him money financiall because that's not going to work. It may look bad on the other side but you have to do what is a must. Besides, they can both talk to each other and have a heart to heart talk for them to give the real score of what the situation is all about. what do you guys think about this?
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
No any reasonable and well to do fellow who will love to give his money to any unserious fellow, even if it involves his brother or close relatives, they know what they are also doing to get that money they have, so nobody can come from nowhere in claiming right towards the money they earned from what they do, i can't give a person money when am not sure of what he is doing with the money in particular, in such case, i make sure that the money given was used to the intended purpose for requesting it.
I would suggest you tell your neighbor to personally set up the business for his younger brother by buying all the stuffs and goods rather than giving him the whole money for the business having known his addiction to gambling, after setting up the business for him your neighbor would have to monitor him on running the business on regular basis, possibly your neighbor might not have enough time to do the monitoring of course once in a while he should create time to do so, moreso counselling his addicted brother about the dangers of excessive gambling would also help in changing his behavior towards it by encouraging moderation in his gambling habits or quitting it totally.
The same thing would happen if he set up a business for himself. When he starts making sales, the habit inside him would push him to take money from the company and gamble. And after some time there will be no money left to run the business. 
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
The suggestion is really that on point or it is really just that right. If he do really find out that his brother is really that lying then he could simply tell his brother that he isnt really that making use of those funds into that business or investment purpose but rather its been used on gambling on which it isnt right. His brother cant do something if he would really be that refusing on giving up some funds or money, but just like on what everyone is really that saying on here is that its really that totally not an easy situation specially if your sibling is really that in need but this would be only considered if its really that truly on dealing up with something I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
which gives out that possible potential positive effect but for gambling? Nah. .. i would really be definitely be rather scolding him on dealing up too much with gambling.
There are really just that those individuals who doesnt really like on getting some conflicts with their siblings and this is why on the moment or time that they woul really be asking for some favor, specially in terms of money and they do know that they are financially capable then they wont really be that able to refuse but rather granting up such request. Actually it would really be just that depending on you whether you would really be giving out or not. If you dont really like for your brother to get involved with gambling anymore then better cut off that supply since it would really be that basically because of the money you had
let him borrowed is the reason on why he do still continue on dealing up such stuff. Dont wait up for your brother to be ending up with that extreme addiction or severe.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Don't feel bad about it, that was the best advice you gave him, as long as he doesn't discipline himself Amy money given to him will be channelled to gambling.. I'm sure no one likes the idea that their money is constantly thrown away and not used to do anything reasonable.. sometimes in life for things to change tough decisions must be made, it might not be comfortable to neglect his brothers need but he has to follow that advice cause it's the best solution
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Don't feel bad about it, that was the best advice you gave him, as long as he doesn't discipline himself Amy money given to him will be channelled to gambling.. I'm sure no one likes the idea that their money is constantly thrown away and not used to do anything reasonable.. sometimes in life for things to change tough decisions must be made, it might not be comfortable to neglect his brothers need but he has to follow that advice cause it's the best solution
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
No any reasonable and well to do fellow who will love to give his money to any unserious fellow, even if it involves his brother or close relatives, they know what they are also doing to get that money they have, so nobody can come from nowhere in claiming right towards the money they earned from what they do, i can't give a person money when am not sure of what he is doing with the money in particular, in such case, i make sure that the money given was used to the intended purpose for requesting it.
I would suggest you tell your neighbor to personally set up the business for his younger brother by buying all the stuffs and goods rather than giving him the whole money for the business having known his addiction to gambling, after setting up the business for him your neighbor would have to monitor him on running the business on regular basis, possibly your neighbor might not have enough time to do the monitoring of course once in a while he should create time to do so, moreso counselling his addicted brother about the dangers of excessive gambling would also help in changing his behavior towards it by encouraging moderation in his gambling habits or quitting it totally.
what do you guys think about this?
You did a good thing on the other hand, and still you did a bad thing on the other hand. I know you will be curious to know why I say all this. There are some considerations about all these. Why I say that is because, in good perception, you are trying to help your neighbours so that he shouldn’t waste his money on his addicted brother. That is nice and accepted, but still, this money that the addicted brother needs can change his life because if, with luck, he stakes the game and wins, he will definitely bring the money to his brother (your neighbour) with interest so that he will tell him that this is the profit he got from his investment, and if he fails, he will just tell him that the business crashed, so you help matter, and still you didn’t help the matter.
The correct approach you will take there is simple: you already have a good relationship with both of them. All you need to do is tell your neighbour to give him a small amount but not all that he requested. then you will contact the brother and explain to him that gambling addiction will just ruin his life and the best solution to cancel that was to have a budget by reducing how frequently you play the gamble and then tell him that you discussed with his brother, and if he didn’t go with your rules to help him stop gambling, you will inform your neighbour not to give him any penny.
I don't understand why op felt remorse after giving his neighbor proper advice about his brother's situation. Was he supposed to direct him towards giving his brother more money to waste on gambling? I also don't understand why his neighbor asked him for advice on an obvious matter. Was he looking for support for his decision to stop giving money to his brother?
Gambling addicts who do not have sources of income resort to tricks and lies to obtain additional resources, and this is only to feed their addictive needs.
Those close to them must be aware of the right ways to help them so as not to further complicate their condition. Of course, there are approved scientific methods that can be used by specialists.
Gambling addicts who do not have sources of income resort to tricks and lies to obtain additional resources, and this is only to feed their addictive needs.
Those close to them must be aware of the right ways to help them so as not to further complicate their condition. Of course, there are approved scientific methods that can be used by specialists.
I guess you gave him the right advice cause if people didn't change after couple of mistakes then it's their decision to do that so helping again will do no good, meanwhile the brother can address the situation directly so he can give him the financial support if needed without handing him money on his hands.
Any kind of addiction need to be treated with medical experts or else 99% of people can't get out of it.
Any kind of addiction need to be treated with medical experts or else 99% of people can't get out of it.
I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst
But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gambling
There was a thread on this board were a gambler used all his life savings and gamble then he still lost the bet, which means he lose his life savings on gamble, I won't call that an addiction because from that op he didn't say that the gambler play often. I believed that tat gambler didn't understand anything in gamble because someone might have given him a wrong advise on gamble. The worse advise one can give to a gamble beginner is to tell him/her that gamble can make them become rich. Some gamblers are in serious dept because they borrowed to gamble and they couldn't pay back the dept. But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gambling
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Well, your neighbor's sibling is the reason why his brother doesn't have trust for him but just as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water, I would suggest that your neighbor should see through to all the business idea his brother has, if really it's a genuine idea, let him (your neighbor) sponsor it and give give a clear warning to that his addicted brother, telling him that if he uses the business capital to gamble and collapse the business, he shouldn't call him for help because most times, you need to discipline people, else they wouldn't learn.
So, like I said above, my opinion is that he should first of all find out if that business idea is genuine and if it's genuine, let him sponsor it but on a strict ground with his brother.
So, like I said above, my opinion is that he should first of all find out if that business idea is genuine and if it's genuine, let him sponsor it but on a strict ground with his brother.
It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved.
In that case, why are you here? After reading your post, I hear the wrong opinion about people. Yes, there are people who have a gambling addiction, and there are also those who like to have fun with gambling. They can equally be called gamers, but I wouldn’t be so categorical about simple communication.
Also, the OP's question was about his neighbor and the neighbor's brother. Should loved ones turn away from the sick? Giving a loan is one thing, but withdrawing a helping hand in all other cases is quite another.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Maybe you gave this advice out of similar experience in your family? Because you sound like one, I had a brother who was also addicted to gambling, he can't even hold a business without the business folding up, friends and family have tried to set three businesses for him and he always failed, later on we all had to turn a blind eye.
One day he came back and started crying painfully, I've never seen him like that before, I completely believed that he has learned his lesson, and today he is not even close to gambling again, so my dear I think an addicted gambler who is destined to break those addiction chains will think twice after his loved ones turn their back on him.
All he have to do is have a change of heart and families will see through that he have changed for real, until then do not fuel the gambling addiction, he needs to take some steps himself.
I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst
Yes, that true, but when they have done everything to the point of really overdoing it and spending lot more money until they experience breakdown then there is big possibility that this condition will change, an addict will think about improving it and they will definitely think about trying to stop.It not guaranteed to be able to stop patently, but at least they have the experience to act as an alarm so they don't make the same mistake, of course the people closest to them who always monitor and help provide direction can be very helpful.
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But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gwmbling
I think it will be the same, whether with crypto or gambling there is certainly no significant difference, everything is related to money and also mental because for those who cannot solve it well there is big chance of experiencing disorders such as depression.It just that it comes back to each person attitude and mindset, human thinking power is basically different and limited.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
As harsh as that May be , it's the best solution, giving him money will not produce any results cause he's obviously not utilizing those money rightly, it's like throwing someone's effort in a dustbin, he needs to control himself first or perhaps he's account needs to be managed by someone else, this may be a silly idea considering the fact that he's an adult but it's a very good solution, if he has anything to purchase with money it should be done by someone else, in that way he wouldn't be able to make careless decisions
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
As harsh as that May be , it's the best solution, giving him money will not produce any results cause he's obviously not utilizing those money rightly, it's like throwing someone's effort in a dustbin, he needs to control himself first or perhaps he's account needs to be managed by someone else, this may be a silly idea considering the fact that he's an adult but it's a very good solution, if he has anything to purchase with money it should be done by someone else, in that way he wouldn't be able to make careless decisions
Your Neighbor's brother needs to deal with his addiction first to enable him no use his business money to gamble, because he might set up the business for real but if he have not overcome addiction he might use the money from the business to continue gambling since he already have what gives him money.
Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
Yes, that's what I think, so even if for example the person really has the intention and plan to build a business while on the other hand he is still trapped in a gambling addiction situation then of course in the end I am sure that the finances in his business will definitely be messy, because Of course, as we know, when gamblers become addicted, they do not hesitate to carry out various aggressive actions without considering the impact of the actions they will take.Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
So I have almost the same concerns as you in dealing with this situation, so the only best way is to solve the problem that is happening first, in the sense of curing the person from the addiction he or she has in any way that feels reasonable or can help, and after that do whatever is your dream or desire.
You told him the right advice about not giving any penny anymore. Most of the addicted gamblers will do everything they can just to get more money to keep on gambling if they don't have genine source of income to fund their gambling activities. Even to lie, they're going to do it because they don't have an option but to say what they have to say even if it will cost them their trust from the people that are helping them. On that case, he's his brother and that's why it's easier to lie and he'll just forgiven upon finding out that he don't have a real business when he's asking for a money.
Real businessmen can actually borrow money to anyone because they have proof of capacity to pay. But on this one, if the gambling brother insists of asking money, the good brother might just suggest to show some proof of capacity that he's able to pay that loan. If not, then that only says one thing and that brother is lying and just want to get money easily, freely to lose it back to the casino that he's gambling without any return. Also, you may suggest to give help to his brother through looking for a professional help to check and counsel him.
Real businessmen can actually borrow money to anyone because they have proof of capacity to pay. But on this one, if the gambling brother insists of asking money, the good brother might just suggest to show some proof of capacity that he's able to pay that loan. If not, then that only says one thing and that brother is lying and just want to get money easily, freely to lose it back to the casino that he's gambling without any return. Also, you may suggest to give help to his brother through looking for a professional help to check and counsel him.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
There is no right or wrong with your advise, in the end it is still his decision to follow you or not. And what you have been given is true though, it could be that his brother is just faking it and that he could be really into gambling we will really never know.
So don't feel guilty or anything, at the end of the day, you based everything on your experience and I will say the same as well if someone ask me what to do in that circumstances. And who knows, maybe because of your advise, the brother might change for the better regardless if he is a addict or not. So just calm down and let this things passed and not be a burden to you mentally.
It's really sad having an addict around your corner as managing them at times could literally be really challenging, I understand the fact that you were trying to look at for the brother and at some point the emotional prick that makes you feel you s re stopping him from doing his younger sibling a favour is normal but then I don't think you should for any reason regret at this point because we all know how it could be with gamblers and money especially when they are in possession of huge amounts.
Just like you suggested, it's very possible he needs that money to go get his gambling activities funded. so the most ideal thing to do is to get to know about t he exact business he says he wants to venture I to and possibly set it up for him and not hand over all the funds to him as he may be tempted to use part of the money to try out some games hoping to be lucky.
Just like you suggested, it's very possible he needs that money to go get his gambling activities funded. so the most ideal thing to do is to get to know about t he exact business he says he wants to venture I to and possibly set it up for him and not hand over all the funds to him as he may be tempted to use part of the money to try out some games hoping to be lucky.
Everything is obvious. A person with an unstable psyche will never be able to start a new business if he has bad habits behind him. In the best case, he will open a business, but at the first instance of any failure, all his money will fly away to “extract” additional cash in gambling. This is a pattern that happens to many gamblers when observed closely. His brother needs to hone his ability to say “no” and also not be shy about explaining the reason for his mistrust. The fact that he refuses his brother may be an incentive for change, or, on the contrary, a further fall down. But as adults, each person makes his own choice of how to live.
It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved. 
so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
That's the exact advice I would have also give if I was to be in your shoe, but the only different is that if this your friend whose brother is asking for money is actually buoyant enough to support financially, what I would have suggest is for him to tell his brother to go bring a "Business Plan" on the very business he is claiming he wants to start, and when he brings, he single-handedly open the business for him with conditions to stop gambling, because if he doesn't, the opening of business will still be waste of time, as he will squander the money if he is not been monitored. But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
Hence, the best advice will be to ensure that he is no longer addicted to gambling, while you monitor the business, so that he can also be financially buayant too, because gambling is not bad, but excess of gambling is what is bad.
When they borrow money and/or have financial problems because of gambling, then of course we have no right to give them money. It doesn't matter whether there will be a dispute or not because after all, when someone dares to borrow money frequently just to gamble,then that person has become an addict who finds it difficult to control himself. But, if you care about him, then of course you can give advice so that the person realizes that borrowing money to gamble is a big mistake.
Or maybe, try to take him on a holiday or something that can let him see the wider world and maybe get away from his gambling habit. Because however, I also realize that it would be difficult to deal with a person like this or difficult to make him aware of his mistakes, and therefore not giving him money I believe would be the best way for him to come to his senses.
Or maybe, try to take him on a holiday or something that can let him see the wider world and maybe get away from his gambling habit. Because however, I also realize that it would be difficult to deal with a person like this or difficult to make him aware of his mistakes, and therefore not giving him money I believe would be the best way for him to come to his senses.
Your Neighbor's brother needs to deal with his addiction first to enable him no use his business money to gamble, because he might set up the business for real but if he have not overcome addiction he might use the money from the business to continue gambling since he already have what gives him money.
Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
You gave the right advice to that person because it should be like that, where we know that his brother has a serious illness about gambling addiction, and by not giving him money is the right choice, for whatever his brother said he needed the money. I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
That is the best choice that can be made in such a position, I know the feelings of your friend who is complaining about his brother, and I also do the same thing as your advice to your friend to people who are addicted to gambling, however your friend's brother needs to learn to earn his own money and show himself that he is indeed building a business and when his business progresses, if he asks for help again to his brother then trust will return as before.
What if the actually turned around his life and now he is struggling with his business or career then it's the time to support him right or else he will go back to what he was doing?
The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.
Yes, that is something that may be true, but things will not be easy to believe if basically the person has previously disappointed his brother or sister several times by misusing the money for gambling, meaning that what his brother did was a choice. which is quite normal by not giving any money at all because of concerns regarding the same thing happening again.The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.
I don't see anything wrong with what the advice giver and his brother did who didn't give money, but in fact, before taking this action, the two of them, especially the brother, should first make sure whether their brother has really recovered from addiction or not, because even if, for example, His younger brother really wants to open a business while he still can't recover from his addiction, so in my opinion the business idea will ultimately not work, because it is very likely that he will use the business money to fulfill his gambling habit which has already entered the addiction phase. The method as you suggest is to take the person to a rehabilitation center to determine whether he is still addicted or has recovered.
What if the actually turned around his life and now he is struggling with his business or career then it's the time to support him right or else he will go back to what he was doing?
The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.
The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.
I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst
But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gwmbling
But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gwmbling
~snip~
what do you guys think about this?
what do you guys think about this?
It's not entirely your fault, you gave the right advice, and of course everyone who really experiences something like this will also do the same thing, in the sense that they will give good advice that can change the gambling addict and reflect on their mistakes in taking advantage. . from his brother. only for gambling activities, if the addict really intends to change then he will try on his own with the desire that arises within him. and his brother can help him financially if he feels that the addict has truly recovered
Each person has their own level of gambling addiction depending on the person's personality. If the addiction is serious, it would be better to go to a special hospital to cure it. because if you leave it alone it will cause problems in the future.
The economy is hard and no matter how well to do you are, it's still doesn't mean you have to waste your funds. It's hard to trust someone who's got gambling issues with money and no matter how changed they may seem, the real test will be if they can handle funds. Personally, if I were to give an advice, I'd suggest this neighbor of yours to give his brother a little money, not all of it and ask him to go look for the remaining else where because you mentioned that he has been giving him money in the past but this brother keeps wasting it, so if he assists him with some, he can keep a close eye on him or better yet follow the business this said brother has and if it ends up being another sham, then he can stop lending a helping hand.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
There is no need to feel bad, because you only give advice that is in accordance with what you believe is right and I also feel that the advice you give is quite reasonable because no matter how much money the man gives to his younger brother it will be useless - and he also needed to think about himself, so not giving his brother the money was the best choice. And again, whether he wants to accept your advice or not is his business, because from the start he asked you for advice, not you who gave him advice, so no need to feel bad.
I would gradually convince brother to make money in crypto trading for his gambling needs. The side effect of such trading activity might be the gambling abstinence, and, for the beginning, I would present him a crypto wallet with "couple" of satoshes. The size of this "couple" would depend on his brother.
You have made a great contribution by introducing your brother to crypto trading as he will definitely consider crypto trading to manage his gambling money. Thus sometime your brother will stop himself from gambling and focus on crypto trading. I was able to stop this cousin of mine from gambling completely like you. He used to regularly steal money from his father's pocket to manage his gambling money, but he is now trading bitcoins with the idea of bitcoin, so he is not addicted to gambling as before. hero member
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You do the right thing by giving that advice to your friend. Maybe you can tell to your friend to discuss with his brother about what business he wants to create so he can helps his brother and not just giving the money. It is risks to gives his brother the money without knowing what his brother will do so he must ensure that his brother really use that money for his new business. But if his brother don't wants to tell much about his new business, he doesn't have to gives the money and lets his brother search for the other people to gets the money.
We can helps our brother who needs money but we must know what is the purposes so that money will not be used for something that can harm him. Using the money for playing gambling and makes his brother gets deeper in gambling addiction is not a good thing so he must talk privately with his brother. You don't have to be deeper in that relation because you are not one of his family.
We can helps our brother who needs money but we must know what is the purposes so that money will not be used for something that can harm him. Using the money for playing gambling and makes his brother gets deeper in gambling addiction is not a good thing so he must talk privately with his brother. You don't have to be deeper in that relation because you are not one of his family.
Everything is obvious. A person with an unstable psyche will never be able to start a new business if he has bad habits behind him. In the best case, he will open a business, but at the first instance of any failure, all his money will fly away to “extract” additional cash in gambling. This is a pattern that happens to many gamblers when observed closely. His brother needs to hone his ability to say “no” and also not be shy about explaining the reason for his mistrust. The fact that he refuses his brother may be an incentive for change, or, on the contrary, a further fall down. But as adults, each person makes his own choice of how to live.
Anyone who is so passionate about business wouldn't keep eating up the little money that they have been giving him for support because he would have to make all possible majors for the business to grow and of course, should be very prepared to work hard to start up the business himself instead of keep depending on people to assist him. Okay, now his brother has assisted him and yet he still don't have the feelings to grow up the business neither is he willing to start instead keep eating up the money for gambling.
To me, I won't really give out money to him to start up business anymore after knowing he is routed into gambling even though thousands is being given to him he would still end up wasting them, therefore for any further assistance he has to sign an undertaking or a kind of agreement that he must used that money to start up a business and for that I will be the one to go make payment directly to hire a shop then I will also go with him to stock up the shop after which he can start making sales. Maybe any further downfall of the business will have me out from him because I already tried to establish the business for him and he squandered the money.
In all, what you did is the right advise.
To me, I won't really give out money to him to start up business anymore after knowing he is routed into gambling even though thousands is being given to him he would still end up wasting them, therefore for any further assistance he has to sign an undertaking or a kind of agreement that he must used that money to start up a business and for that I will be the one to go make payment directly to hire a shop then I will also go with him to stock up the shop after which he can start making sales. Maybe any further downfall of the business will have me out from him because I already tried to establish the business for him and he squandered the money.
In all, what you did is the right advise.
what do you guys think about this?
providing financial support for something that is clearly positive is certainly a good thing, even though the person should try to find a way other than borrowing money or asking for financial support and not doing this because basically when running a business you have to work hard, However, if I have often asked for financial support with the reason that business is a question, I myself would consider that I have a relative who has often asked for financial support for business reasons even though the business is not visible at all. Of course that is a question.Moreover, if it is clear that the person likes to waste money, of course I myself will not provide financial support or lend it. I'd better support him with words that might motivate him. with what you feel is not good with what you have done, I don't think it's a mistake, because apart from saving his brother, it is also to make his brother aware.
I think you don't just stop giving money to a gambling addict. A person addicted to gambling has to be treated by a professional. There must be a proper process for it.
If a person is addicted to gambling and he/she can't get money from the one he/she depends on, he/she will attempt to get money from somebody else. Worse, he/she could resort into pawning or selling properties, committing crimes, and so on.
I think the best way is for your neighbor to talk to his brother and seek professional intervention. That's certainly more responsible of him rather than just halt his support.
If a person is addicted to gambling and he/she can't get money from the one he/she depends on, he/she will attempt to get money from somebody else. Worse, he/she could resort into pawning or selling properties, committing crimes, and so on.
I think the best way is for your neighbor to talk to his brother and seek professional intervention. That's certainly more responsible of him rather than just halt his support.
Gambling addicts are always a problem to their loved ones, they're always broke and in need of more money to gamble. So far your neighbor has been given his brother money before and the guy kept squandering them on irresponsible gambling, I think that you did the right thing by advising him not to give him money. Although as his family, he shouldn't abandon his brother, instead he should support the addicted brother to get help first. The addicted brother can get professional help or from individuals like you that have experience in gambling. After the period of rehab, if your neighbor is convinced that his brother has changed, then he can monitor the payments of what his brother needs to start a business. Gambling addicted family members needs help not abandonment.
I would gradually convince brother to make money in crypto trading for his gambling needs. The side effect of such trading activity might be the gambling abstinence, and, for the beginning, I would present him a crypto wallet with "couple" of satoshes. The size of this "couple" would depend on his brother.
~
No worries op, asking for money to gamble is not "in need of help" lol. You have a clear conscience here and I 100% will do/recommend the same thing. Yes, family is family but there's also a certain point where even if you're both family, you don't help because it's not really "helping" anymore. It's clearly taking advantage of that damn label lol. Yes, guilt is there and will always be 100% but don't take it as something that means you made a mistake or did something wrong. In the end it's just you being guilt trip by that label, and not really you making a mistake imo. 
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help
Who is in need of help? The brother just wants money for his gambling addiction so that he can gamble and become rich in a short period of time. According to me, you did the right thing. If it’s not your money, then you don’t have the right to put it at risk. Addiction will automatically low down if the guy doesn’t get money to gamble. So if I were there in your place, then I would have done the same thing, mate. Don’t feel sad. I am 100% sure that most of the people will agree with your advice that you have given to your neighbor.
~snip~
what do you guys think about this?
what do you guys think about this?
I think it's a bad advise on not to help his brother considering that your neighbor is financially well-off. You could have give his younger brother the benefit of the doubt, what if he is telling the truth and missed the opportunity because he don't the money to start up the business then that opportunity was wasted because his brother didn't help him. If the money was used for his gambling activity then that help would be the first and the last he could get from his brother.
It's difficult when someone has been labeled negatively by their family, especially if the cause is gambling. However, we must always help them if they are our family, because who else will they turn to for assistance? Perhaps by observing how the business is conducted and getting directly involved in it, we can minimize the risks associated with the money they are using.
This is absolutely a loop of stories, these stories are repeated over and over again on this board, and the truth is that 99% of them users that posting don't know what they are talking about and have no real idea of these situations.
No one here is professionally trained to give an answer, in fact it is the worst place to seek ideas, this thread is only useful for those who do not bet, filling a thread with innocuous posts. imo.
No one here is professionally trained to give an answer, in fact it is the worst place to seek ideas, this thread is only useful for those who do not bet, filling a thread with innocuous posts. imo.
In my own opinion, you have just given the best advise you should, because dealing with a gambling addict sometimes may be complicated because you wouldn't know when he's saying the truth or when he's lieing, so in this case the advice of him looking for other alternative to sort himself out is just the best option. Sothat he will be serious for once and make good use of his skill and extablish himself before requesting help from his brother. But my fear is that Gambling addiction can be so bad that a well planned business may be ruined by using the business fund to gamble.
Well, since his brother is an addicted gambler, there's really a possibility that the money he asked is solely to sustain his addiction. It's not easy to ignore your brother because regardless, he is still a family. But it's not also right to tolerate him for spending the money that he didn't even earned. Because for a person like his brother, he doesn't know the value of money unless he's the one who worked hard for it.
Anyway, if I were in his shoes, I won't give him money. However, I will help in other ways for him to stop his addiction. Because it's not easy to overcome such situation especially if you don't have anyone to turn on to regarding your problem.
Anyway, if I were in his shoes, I won't give him money. However, I will help in other ways for him to stop his addiction. Because it's not easy to overcome such situation especially if you don't have anyone to turn on to regarding your problem.
I don't see any problems with giving an advice to your neighborhood mate, the main concern here is the bad actions that the person did. No matter what positive motivations we will provide them, and yet they cannot improve themselves then we're not held responsible for them. During the times of uncertainties no one can help us but ourselves, we're always help liable on our shortcomings and that's always a basic mindset. You don't have to stress on those irresponsible people around, and better avoid doing busines with them because it might cause you problems in the near future.
Honestly, gambling addiction will not be easily cured without really appropriate and serious treatment, as well as a strong desire from the addicted gambler. It won't end even if his older brother or whoever gives him loans again and again, in fact it will trigger him to gamble again and again.
My personal experience is that my brother, who had gone all out, even breaking up his family, was now finally being put in a rehabilitation center for treatment for his slot gambling addiction. and until now, several months later, he is still there, it's quite bad because he seems to be in a daze and has a mental disorder.
What's worse, he just had a baby who is under 1 year old, his house and all the assets of him and his parents and even his in-laws have been used up to pay off his debts, and this still leaves more than $30k in debt. Just imagine what his family's condition is like now, all that remains is a house which is currently in the process of being sold to pay off debts, and they can't afford to pay it all. Even his parents currently have to live with other relatives to stay alive.
In essence, for anyone who is an addicted gambler, most of them, will not stop until they are really treated seriously by a specialist. And it also takes time, it's not that easy to recover and not return to gambling activities. This is a continuous and sustainable treatment. It is very sad every time I read stories about victims or families of addicted gamblers whose lives also have to be disrupted due to the actions of those addicted gamblers.
You can give him advice continuously, but whether it will really be successful or not, if he is really addicted, it will really be difficult. Is it not possible to take him to a rehabilitation center or to a specialist to help his treatment? It's best if you also have to be careful, always be alert to conditions like that.
My personal experience is that my brother, who had gone all out, even breaking up his family, was now finally being put in a rehabilitation center for treatment for his slot gambling addiction. and until now, several months later, he is still there, it's quite bad because he seems to be in a daze and has a mental disorder.
What's worse, he just had a baby who is under 1 year old, his house and all the assets of him and his parents and even his in-laws have been used up to pay off his debts, and this still leaves more than $30k in debt. Just imagine what his family's condition is like now, all that remains is a house which is currently in the process of being sold to pay off debts, and they can't afford to pay it all. Even his parents currently have to live with other relatives to stay alive.
In essence, for anyone who is an addicted gambler, most of them, will not stop until they are really treated seriously by a specialist. And it also takes time, it's not that easy to recover and not return to gambling activities. This is a continuous and sustainable treatment. It is very sad every time I read stories about victims or families of addicted gamblers whose lives also have to be disrupted due to the actions of those addicted gamblers.
You can give him advice continuously, but whether it will really be successful or not, if he is really addicted, it will really be difficult. Is it not possible to take him to a rehabilitation center or to a specialist to help his treatment? It's best if you also have to be careful, always be alert to conditions like that.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
If a sibling has shown themselves incapable to handle a business, there is no need starting a business for them when they will surely run it down. You can keep assisting them in little ways with money for little things that are essential, as a way of still expressing your love and blood relationship, but with a problem like gambling addiction, starting a business with this problem is a waste, the person will never understand and value the business.what do you guys think about this?
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
If a sibling has shown themselves incapable to handle a business, there is no need starting a business for them when they will surely run it down. You can keep assisting them in little ways with money for little things that are essential, as a way of still expressing your love and blood relationship, but with a problem like gambling addiction, starting a business with this problem is a waste, the person will never understand and value the business. what do you guys think about this?
-snip-
Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.
Providing limits without any help that will result in subsequent gambling is good to do.Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.
But if someone is already experiencing an acute addiction to gambling, they will do everything to earn money in order to be able to gamble.
In his mind he was only betting for a big win that might be able to recoup his losses, but in reality it would only consume everything.
These kinds of people need to get rehabilitation and guidance from those closest to them to be able to escape from the addiction.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
The suggestion was really just that right or on point. If it was really that a legit business plans or trying out to make one by his brother then asking up some proofs would really be that something that needs to do.I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
On the moment that he found out that his brother is lying then he would definitely be having that legit excuse or reason on not to give him anymore money just because of the lies. Somehow into this kind of situation or
condition on which it is really that hard to resist specially if your brother/sister or simply siblings does have those kind of problems but we do know that we should really be having that kind of cutting off specially
in financial support because we are the ones who do feed up their addiction specially if you do really know on what they are dealing on with. This is why it would really be understandable as a brother that you shouldnt
really be providing him some financial even no matter what reasons he might have. Addiction is something that is commonly a problem for most gamblers and there's no exemption to this not unless if you do really have that good self control towards on the things you are dealing on with.
I always try to help others especially who want to do something good especially who are entrepreneur but not interested to lend money someone who never keep his word before or a gambling addict. Poor people always surroundings with us but not all poor people are decent. I found there are some poor people who gamble and lost their money and they collect money from various people by give wrong info. I am not interest to lend money for these people because I know if lend him he will lose by gambling then again he do the same work. If someone gets bad idea about a person before lending money then definitely he should be careful.
I can't help a gambler in any way, be it money or whatever. Asking for money in the name of business is cheating and those involved in these activities should never be helped in any way. A poor student can be helped or a poor student can be helped but if he helps a gambler, he may feel very bad in person if he does not spend it properly. If a gambler takes money from others repeatedly to establish himself and sits in a gambling loss, he will find a situation in such a situation that he will not get help even in a bad situation. Because if you cheat, you must deal with the consequences of that cheating at one time.
If his brother is a gambling addict, the reason he said he wants the money could be a lie. He may just need the money to have extra time to gamble again and he will lose the money. If he is a gambling addict, he is not worthy to be given the money. Your advice is not wrong. I have done exactly the same thing before when I was a gambling addict. I borrowed the money from my brother and used it to gamble.
Those are the kind of gamblers that borrows money to gamble.From the stories, if it's true that he wants to use the money for a business the lender should not give him first until he sees any seriousness in him before he can borrow him the money snd if he wants to give the money y to his brother, he should not give him the complete amount that he demanded but half of it. And the money should also be the amount that he can afford to lose because as families he might not pay early because he's also a gambler addict. And the truth is that even if he used the money to start a business he might still use the profits and gamble again.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Well, he asked for your advice and you just gave your personal opinion and suggestion about his situation. It depends on him still whether he would follow it or not. You are making a point simply because based on his story, nothing's happening on the amounts he is giving to his brother. Well yes every people are subject to changes but at least in this case, his brother should show proofs in form of eagerness to make positive changes. If he'd just be dependent then nothing's gonna happen wherein the money to be borrowed will just be wasted. Also, lying should never be tolerated in the first place. If the older brother will be in doubt of giving a helping hand then that'e just him showing the reality to the younger siblings that things aren't easily achieved. The more you'd be asking for favor, the more that you won't value the momey compared with what is actually learned. I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
what do you guys think about this?
Such incidents are often happening around us because many people borrow money by talking about business setup but instead of setting up business, they make losses on gambling. An incident like this happened in my uncle's life if I was very young at the time and I had no idea about gambling. But I saw my uncle helping his brother-in-law and later it was known that my uncle's brother-in-law was an addicted gambler. He has caused a loss by gambling by borrowing money from multiple sources and is currently a bankrupt accused. It would be wise to always keep yourself conscious of such people. It should be remembered that such gamblers are always walking around me and you and they can use money and gamble with money whenever they want. It is very important to always be aware of these people. 
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Giving advice on family matters is always difficult, however I do not see anything wrong with the advice itself, if a person has proven over and over again they are not to be trusted, then it is silly to trust them once again and lend them that money, because even if the addicted brother was telling the truth, all his past transgressions are enough to never lend him a single penny until he has gotten over his addiction and he has proven himself worthy of being trusted again, so do not feel guilty about it as you did the right thing in my opinion. I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I don't quite stand in the same page with the advice you gave him. It's possible his brother might be a reckless spender in the past and might have squandered all the money his brother gave him away. That's something that's very bad and any right thinking person has the right to be angry at it but you can't hold the anger against him forever. You have to believe that he can change and help him work out of his addiction. If he wants to start up a new business, why not take the little sacrifice of going with him to the market to see what he intends buying and ensure that you witness him buying all the items he intends buying in your presence? I know some siblings can be very irresponsible but I'm totally against neglecting totally just because they aren't leaving up to what you expect of them.
I've known some drunkards that at some times become hungry and come begging money for food, without a sense of doubt, I'm certain that the possibility of them using the money I gave them to buy alcohol is very high but I can't because of that and refuse helping them when I know that it's possible that they are actually hungry. What I do is to join them to where they want to buy the food, pay for the food and then go away. If I can do that for a stranger then I should be able to do better for my brother. Addiction is not a joke and literally anyone could become addicted. You don't walk out of them and allow them remain helpless. You render the little help that you can and gradually they will learn to do better in there gambling or addictive lifestyle.
I've known some drunkards that at some times become hungry and come begging money for food, without a sense of doubt, I'm certain that the possibility of them using the money I gave them to buy alcohol is very high but I can't because of that and refuse helping them when I know that it's possible that they are actually hungry. What I do is to join them to where they want to buy the food, pay for the food and then go away. If I can do that for a stranger then I should be able to do better for my brother. Addiction is not a joke and literally anyone could become addicted. You don't walk out of them and allow them remain helpless. You render the little help that you can and gradually they will learn to do better in there gambling or addictive lifestyle.
so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny
Your advice is very correct but you should not tell your neighbor to refuse to give money to his brother just because of your sentiments towards gambling addiction. On the one hand, you only hear stories from your neighbors (the addict's older siblings) without seeing what actually happens because maybe there is something you don't know.Quote
what do you guys think about this?
My suggestion is that you take back your previous suggestion and advise your neighbor to ask how much his younger wants. If the amount is not too big, just give him the money but under supervision or in other words monitor him whether the money is really for building a business.If the money given is used for gambling again, you can give the first advice you said before when the younger sibling asks for money again for another reason.
In my opinion you gave the wrong advice.
you have no proof that your neighbor is really telling the truth about his brother's situation, most of the time some people, when they don't want to give money or don't want to help other people, use arguments that to some extent tarnish other people's image while cleaning their own images so as not to help other people. In this case you should first ask your neighbor if there is any proof that his brother was addicted to gambling, this proof should be a medical examination. Secondly, you should ask your neighbor how much money he has given to his brother and in what month and year he gave it to him
Thirdly, you should have asked your neighbor what kind of business his brother intends to do. After that you could give the following advice:
1 - that he take his brother to a doctor for an examination to determine whether he is addicted or not, if it is proven in the examination that he is addicted, that he pay for the treatment
2 - that he take his brother's idea and open his brother's business, if the brother is undergoing treatment for addiction, then he will take care of the business until the brother is cured.
We have to be very careful when giving people advice. imagine your neighbor following your advice while his brother is telling the truth about business? then you would be destroying the sibling relationship because of money. The day your neighbor dies, they won't call you, but they will call your brother. you don't abandon a brother
you have no proof that your neighbor is really telling the truth about his brother's situation, most of the time some people, when they don't want to give money or don't want to help other people, use arguments that to some extent tarnish other people's image while cleaning their own images so as not to help other people. In this case you should first ask your neighbor if there is any proof that his brother was addicted to gambling, this proof should be a medical examination. Secondly, you should ask your neighbor how much money he has given to his brother and in what month and year he gave it to him
Thirdly, you should have asked your neighbor what kind of business his brother intends to do. After that you could give the following advice:
1 - that he take his brother to a doctor for an examination to determine whether he is addicted or not, if it is proven in the examination that he is addicted, that he pay for the treatment
2 - that he take his brother's idea and open his brother's business, if the brother is undergoing treatment for addiction, then he will take care of the business until the brother is cured.
We have to be very careful when giving people advice. imagine your neighbor following your advice while his brother is telling the truth about business? then you would be destroying the sibling relationship because of money. The day your neighbor dies, they won't call you, but they will call your brother. you don't abandon a brother
Overall, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the advice you gave to this person, friend, by suggesting not to give any money to his brother who has been identified as a gambler, because in addition it has been proven that in the past when he gave money to his younger brother, it was Instead, they use it and spend it to fulfill their gambling habits.
On the other hand, I also understand what you feel OP, that you feel bad because you have advised this person not to help their own sibling, but actually it is not a problem to use it as a form of caution, even if for example they are their own sibling. So I can't assume or say that your actions are wrong, but if I were in your position then I would most likely tell the person to first confirm whether what his sister said was true or a lie about who he would use the money for. for business purposes, at least by looking for some real evidence related to the business that will be run, and if it turns out that he doesn't find any evidence that can be trusted then I will advise him not to give any money to his younger brother.
On the other hand, I also understand what you feel OP, that you feel bad because you have advised this person not to help their own sibling, but actually it is not a problem to use it as a form of caution, even if for example they are their own sibling. So I can't assume or say that your actions are wrong, but if I were in your position then I would most likely tell the person to first confirm whether what his sister said was true or a lie about who he would use the money for. for business purposes, at least by looking for some real evidence related to the business that will be run, and if it turns out that he doesn't find any evidence that can be trusted then I will advise him not to give any money to his younger brother.
I don't see anything bad about the advice you gave your neighbor. If I am the one I will advise him the same.
Nobody will feel happy when they learn that the money they gave out to their sibling is not used judiciously on relevant things, but instead on gambling.
I can't have a brother who is a gambling addict and expects me to be giving him money. I can't try that, even if he needs money for an important thing. Giving him money for that will still push him to their luck on gambling for one time since he has money on his hands.
Someone who's a gambling addict doesn't use huge money given to them for useful things. Giving them money is always a waste if the addiction to gambling doesn't leave them. To give them money, you will first of all treat the addiction before giving them money. The way to treat that, withdraw giving them money. Let them work for themselves, and see how it feels when the money they work for is not utilized in a proper way
However, at times in life, it is good to say no to the demands of people. Rendering financial help to our siblings or friends each time they call for it, makes them feel like money is been plucked from the tree. Saying no to their demands for money will make them sit up to whatever they are doing, that they should spend money wisely
Nobody will feel happy when they learn that the money they gave out to their sibling is not used judiciously on relevant things, but instead on gambling.
I can't have a brother who is a gambling addict and expects me to be giving him money. I can't try that, even if he needs money for an important thing. Giving him money for that will still push him to their luck on gambling for one time since he has money on his hands.
Someone who's a gambling addict doesn't use huge money given to them for useful things. Giving them money is always a waste if the addiction to gambling doesn't leave them. To give them money, you will first of all treat the addiction before giving them money. The way to treat that, withdraw giving them money. Let them work for themselves, and see how it feels when the money they work for is not utilized in a proper way
However, at times in life, it is good to say no to the demands of people. Rendering financial help to our siblings or friends each time they call for it, makes them feel like money is been plucked from the tree. Saying no to their demands for money will make them sit up to whatever they are doing, that they should spend money wisely
I feel pity for your neighbor that is giving the gamble addict supports all these while and he is gambling with the funds. It might be true or not that your neighbors brother wants to use the money to set up a business but that doesn't mean that your neighbor shoukd not be nervous.
I will not advice anyone not to give a helping hand to his siblings because we are the only ones that they can look up to for help. Tell your neighbor to give his brother the last doubt and only give him half of the money, if he sees that his younger brother really started the business, he can give him the other part.
I will not advice anyone not to give a helping hand to his siblings because we are the only ones that they can look up to for help. Tell your neighbor to give his brother the last doubt and only give him half of the money, if he sees that his younger brother really started the business, he can give him the other part.
You have done well comrade. I understand the point you are trying to make here based on your experience with gamblers. The reply or advice you gave your friend is what some others would still give him. Your friend too is also on the same decision because him not taking his brothers call and to extent of avoiding him means that he would still come up with such resolution to o away with the idea of funding his brothers business as a result of the fact that his brother is a gambler who he has helped in the past but ended up squandering the money on gambling.
Anyone in his shoes would feel the same way because it would not be making any sense giving out huge amount of money which took your time and efforts to earn either as a worker or a business man and only for you to discover that it ended up being used for gambling. It is natural that anyone in such situation would definitely avoid such person because they can not stand the face of meeting with such person saying no to their plea not to talk of when it is your sibling.
Nevertheless, his brother should have looked for a means to making sure everything he spent for the business be accounted for in the sense that he would be very much involved in the business either as a partner to oversee the business till it stands or he supervises him till the business stands successfully or he assigns someone to do the task on his behalf if he is not chanced to do so.
Another way to hold his brother accountable is to personally pay for ye business and makes sure he gives account on daily basis as per how the business was for the day so as to keep track records of how his brother is going about the business. He should not give up on his bro but guide him and coach him if the needs be.
Anyone in his shoes would feel the same way because it would not be making any sense giving out huge amount of money which took your time and efforts to earn either as a worker or a business man and only for you to discover that it ended up being used for gambling. It is natural that anyone in such situation would definitely avoid such person because they can not stand the face of meeting with such person saying no to their plea not to talk of when it is your sibling.
Nevertheless, his brother should have looked for a means to making sure everything he spent for the business be accounted for in the sense that he would be very much involved in the business either as a partner to oversee the business till it stands or he supervises him till the business stands successfully or he assigns someone to do the task on his behalf if he is not chanced to do so.
Another way to hold his brother accountable is to personally pay for ye business and makes sure he gives account on daily basis as per how the business was for the day so as to keep track records of how his brother is going about the business. He should not give up on his bro but guide him and coach him if the needs be.
Your friend is definitely addicted to gambling because he has many reasons to get money instead of building his business, so that's how he gets money easily asking his brother.
Wanting to do business but still happy to play gambling when there is money, it is useless that there is business capital money will run out, let alone the profit earned, because I have the thought that gambling addiction will be difficult to stop, especially if he holds money, he will play again and waste his money.
Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.
Wanting to do business but still happy to play gambling when there is money, it is useless that there is business capital money will run out, let alone the profit earned, because I have the thought that gambling addiction will be difficult to stop, especially if he holds money, he will play again and waste his money.
Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Your advice was not a bad one considering that brother B is suffering from gambling disorder. You are scared that he could use the money to gamble and end up wasting the money. It could also be possible that this man wants to invest the money in a business, nobody can verify this fact based on your story. My advice would be that the gambling addict will have to prove to his brother that the money will not be used for gambling. Maybe he would have to monitor him to check if he is still addicted. I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Another option will be for Brother A to follow up with Brother B as he prepares for the business. Instead of giving Brother B the money, Brother A can decide to purchase the goods that Brother B wants to sell. Instead of giving him money to rent a shop space, brother A should pay the rent. Brother A can also safely give Brother B what he can afford to lose. He shouldn't give him what he asks for but what he can afford to lose. Give a sum that even if he gambles it off, it wouldn't pain him so much.
what do you guys think about this?
There nothing wrong with what you did mate. You just decided to share you own opinion about his personal problem. The only thing is that you should have not gone straight to the point and ask him not to help. You could have told him to just sit his brother down and ask him about his business before offering to help. For me I don't see anything wrong though, as it's clearly obvious that his brother is addicted and using the money to gamble. I won't want to give out my money to an addict no matter how close we are related. If I know he will gamble with the funds I won't give him a penny. I'll rather help him start a business let him manage.
what do you guys think about this?
You gave the right advice and you should not give a penny to a gambling addict (in the same way with any other addiction), otherwise the addicted brother will spend everything on gambling, as before. This is the next stage of addiction, when people addicted to gambling, having lost all their money and property, begin to lose money from friends and relatives. It is not permissible to encourage them to do this. 
Family will always be family and it is not right that a family would turn their back on their helpless brother without properly investigating to know if he is telling the truth or not. Moreover, avoiding to give him money or any other thing of value will not make him stop gambling. If care is not taken, he might start stealing or selling off family's properties just to satisfy his addiction. First, they need to find out why he gambles the way he does and see a way to help him get out of it.
While they are at it, they just have to avoid giving him money directly. All his financial needs including business plans should pass through a third party who would ensure that the money is being used for the right reasons. Neglecting the addict will not change him, he would find other means to gamble.
While they are at it, they just have to avoid giving him money directly. All his financial needs including business plans should pass through a third party who would ensure that the money is being used for the right reasons. Neglecting the addict will not change him, he would find other means to gamble.
You did the right thing as a friend. Don't marinade on the details.
As a friend, it's always better to be honest with them even though it will hurt them. That's my motto in my life and I know many friends do hate me for doing that. But, I don't need to live with that, it's them who needs to live with whatever lie you will tell them if you try to be the good man and say "Give him more because he is your family.".
Should you be blamed for telling the truth? No. But if you tell a lie, do you really thing you can live with that and sleep sound? No, I don't think so. We are made to have conscience and that will bug you for many nights if you tell him what you don't agree with.
As a friend, it's always better to be honest with them even though it will hurt them. That's my motto in my life and I know many friends do hate me for doing that. But, I don't need to live with that, it's them who needs to live with whatever lie you will tell them if you try to be the good man and say "Give him more because he is your family.".
Should you be blamed for telling the truth? No. But if you tell a lie, do you really thing you can live with that and sleep sound? No, I don't think so. We are made to have conscience and that will bug you for many nights if you tell him what you don't agree with.
He can still helps his brother but not for gambling because that can makes his brother get deeper. Maybe he can asks his brother to go to rehabilitation center to cure his gambling addiction although that will not easy to do that.
If his brother wants to do some business, he must search for more details so he knows that his brother will use that money for the right thing. I know that is a hard situation because you suggest him not to gives money to his brother but you do the right thing if his brother only use the money for gambling.
He can suggest to his brother that he will join with his brother to manages the business so he will know how the business running. He can also watch his brother and slowly he can try to makes his brother focus with the business.
If his brother wants to do some business, he must search for more details so he knows that his brother will use that money for the right thing. I know that is a hard situation because you suggest him not to gives money to his brother but you do the right thing if his brother only use the money for gambling.
He can suggest to his brother that he will join with his brother to manages the business so he will know how the business running. He can also watch his brother and slowly he can try to makes his brother focus with the business.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
What your friend did was come to you with a problem at hand and needed advice from you, which you gave him based on your honest belief, which I don't see anything to feel bad about here. what do you guys think about this?
If he is in for genuine business, he should try and hustle out the money and let him start it. If the business already exists, he can gain the trust of his family again, and only then can they be willing to help him push further.
I think he needs to be accountable for What the brother is doing to himself. Being addicted to gambling isn’t a good thing and he should know that if you continue to tolerate that behavior then it will never stop.
I think maybe you could do a condition where if he can stop himself from gambling then you would try to help him and oversee what he is doing with the money.
Letting him see a professional Would probably help him to stop it. Suggest that there should be a discussion with the family members about this problem.
I think maybe you could do a condition where if he can stop himself from gambling then you would try to help him and oversee what he is doing with the money.
Letting him see a professional Would probably help him to stop it. Suggest that there should be a discussion with the family members about this problem.
You just put yourself in trouble if, in the end, the brother asking for a loan finds out or the business is real and you become the culprit of their break out.
Its better next time not to interfere with family matters, Family is different; you are just a neighbor. Even if you are a close friend, you have to save yourself by letting him decide what is good between the two of them, we have to know our boundaries when it comes to family matters.
That's true, but I read that @OP's neighbor had many experience where his brother didn't pay back the money to him, so even though @OP didn't give any advice, I think @OP's neighbor will choose to not give the money since he had bad experience. Its better next time not to interfere with family matters, Family is different; you are just a neighbor. Even if you are a close friend, you have to save yourself by letting him decide what is good between the two of them, we have to know our boundaries when it comes to family matters.
According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
It's better to not fall in such situation, but there's always someone who want to share his personal problem to other people just to get support or he just want to express it to make him feel better.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I think the best thing is for the brother who is well to do financial, is to collect the business proposal from his alleged gambling addicted brother and set it up by himself, maybe afterwards he can hand it over to the brother to either run it or hire people to help the brother run it. I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
... so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
You have done well. A person who has that kind of problem, the only way out is to acknowledge that they have a problem, and that usually never happens before they've hit rock bottom. The bad thing is that you're going to be the bad guy in the story anyway. If the addict finds out what you said, he will throw it back in your face and if you told him otherwise, things would have gotten worse and the brother would have thrown it back in your face.
It's best to stay out of that kind of trouble if you can avoid it.
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You just put yourself in trouble if, in the end, the brother asking for a loan finds out or the business is real and you become the culprit of their break out.
Its better next time not to interfere with family matters, Family is different; you are just a neighbor.
Its better next time not to interfere with family matters, Family is different; you are just a neighbor.
I think the same. I would not have found myself in that situation, and I would have tried to avoid it as much as possible. Although the answer the OP gave is the least bad one. I guess there is quite a familiar relationship even if they are ‘only’ neighbours. It's not like neighbours in many cities who don't even know the next door neighbour's name.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
You just put yourself in trouble if, in the end, the brother asking for a loan finds out or the business is real and you become the culprit of their break out.But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
Its better next time not to interfere with family matters, Family is different; you are just a neighbor. Even if you are a close friend, you have to save yourself by letting him decide what is good between the two of them, we have to know our boundaries when it comes to family matters.
Telling him to not give his brother any money again is a good advice. But instead of letting him go outside to struggle like that, i think these kinds of people need management. What he could do is he can set up a small business and keep his brother in charge. And the conditions would be anything he makes out of this business is what would determine his salary. You will notice that with time he is going to understand the importance of money and take the business serious. Knowing full well that if he did not make any sales or good sales at the end of the month then he is not going to receive any penny. Discipline is what he needs and if he cant get it b himself then he has to teach his brother how to be discipline by taking monetary actions that would control how he uses his funds.
... so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
You have done well. A person who has that kind of problem, the only way out is to acknowledge that they have a problem, and that usually never happens before they've hit rock bottom. The bad thing is that you're going to be the bad guy in the story anyway. If the addict finds out what you said, he will throw it back in your face and if you told him otherwise, things would have gotten worse and the brother would have thrown it back in your face.
It's best to stay out of that kind of trouble if you can avoid it.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I will feel the same way because what if it turn out that the business is real and his brother really need money you just made a grave error of breaking the bond between two brothers.
If I was asked the same question I will not advice over a sensitive matters that involves relationship between two relatives, I feel if there is someone who can give valuable advice is one of their relatives who are close to both, the relative will do an investigation if the business is real then he can advice to give or decline a loan.
When it comes to family matters its best to leave them to decide for themselves the best recourse or decision not coming from outsiders who has little knowldge about their relationship.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I think the best thing is for the brother who is well to do financial, is to collect the business proposal from his alleged gambling addicted brother and set it up by himself, maybe afterwards he can hand it over to the brother to either run it or hire people to help the brother run it. Time after time, he can be regularly checking in on the progress of the business. I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
So haven known the deficiency his brother is suffering from, left alone with me, I wouldn't even advise the brother to hand over the money to him too, so OP I'm in some way in support of your advise given the veracity of the situation involved.
what do you guys think about this?
You failed to imply some ideals to that your neighbor on how he can help his brother to fight against his gambling addiction.If I were you, I will make the neighbor confiding in me about his brothers gambling addiction to understand what addiction, how it starts and how it can ruin a life because the brother not helping his other brother financially anymore due to lessons thought is not the best but how the guy could be smuggle out of the addiction.
We also know that hardly any addicted victim could help itself but mostly a duty to the loved ones to help them out.
Him asking the brother to sort himself elsewhere before he can assist him will not make different from his addiction.
So at this course, I would be better if the brother if the addicted gambler.
In financial management, if one can not manage a $100, same person can not manage $200+.
So let us assume he requested for $100 for this business ideal and the bro did not trust him probably the bro can not afford to see that $100 wasted for the bro investment, he can put him on trial and ask him to look for a smaller business requiring not less than $30 probably this is a fund that the bro can afford in case the guy decided to stil use it on gambling. So his start there will determine his seriousness to let go his addiction. That should be a conditional setup for this addicted after much sanitary advices on him.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
One thing I know is that no matter how bad someone is it is only family members that can still embrace the person, other person's will give up on you but your family will still hold on to you. For me I won't advice the man not to support is siblings, the only thing I can tell him is to make his decisions based on his experience he has encountered with the sibling, only can tell if the sibling is trying to extort money from or not. But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
People may have bad habit in spending money but it doesn't mean family members should turn their back against them, they still need support especially if the money is available to assist. I won't advice someone not to assist their siblings just because of the person who needs assistance is an addict or don't know how to manage money. It is a family matter for one to take decision to assist or not.
If his brother is a gambling addict, the reason he said he wants the money could be a lie. He may just need the money to have extra time to gamble again and he will lose the money. If he is a gambling addict, he is not worthy to be given the money. Your advice is not wrong. I have done exactly the same thing before when I was a gambling addict. I borrowed the money from my brother and used it to gamble.
I don't think you gave him a wrong advice because since he has sent him money on several occasions and he ended up squandering the money in gambling who knows if he has a genuine intention about the business he wants to venture into, but that not withstanding if it was me I will give same advice as you gave him because his brother will still end up spending the money on bets who knows he must have seen a sure odd that he trust so much hence he's trying to use that strategy to get money from his brother so it's not for you to feel bad about it.
Some people are just naturally lazy due to the fact that they have people as backups in case of anything especially those that have people that stands out for them in times of needs and difficulties and some persons tries to take that as an advantage to always use cunny ways to get money from such people and I believe that is same way his brother is trying to use. If you don't allow gambling addicts to pass through difficult situations they won't reduce the rate they gamble or better quit because anyone who can't control their gambling habits should rather stop playing for the sake of their mental health.
Some people are just naturally lazy due to the fact that they have people as backups in case of anything especially those that have people that stands out for them in times of needs and difficulties and some persons tries to take that as an advantage to always use cunny ways to get money from such people and I believe that is same way his brother is trying to use. If you don't allow gambling addicts to pass through difficult situations they won't reduce the rate they gamble or better quit because anyone who can't control their gambling habits should rather stop playing for the sake of their mental health.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
If the brother is a gambling addict and have wasted money he has given to him in gambling for many times, your advice is the right thing to do. If the brother is serious about opening a business, then let him go and do his findings before supporting the business by paying directly and not through the brother to avoid funding the brother's bad gambling practice. There is nothing bad about helping a brother but when the help is not really help, other better ways of going about it should be explored. But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
What the brother need now is how to deal with the addiction first before even talking about business. If he has not even seen a problem with his gambling habit, then any amount of money given to him for any reason will be wasted.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
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