It does make a difference.
If you believe that to be true, please present some math to explain it. I believe it doesn't make a difference. I may be wrong but you aren't convincing me without a more detailed explanation of your concern.
Here are two scenarios. In both, I am mining and you are mining. In a given period of time, I am mining at 4 GH/s and find 1000 shares. You are mining at 8 GH/s and find 2000 shares.
Scenario 1 : P2Pool (9% of shares are stale)Of the 1000 shares I found, 90 were stale. So I found 910 valid shares.
Of the 2000 shares you found, 180 were stale. So you found 1820 valid shares.
I found 910 out of (910 + 1820) total shares. That is 910/2730 or 33.333% of shares and so I will get 33.333% of each block payment. That is, not coincidentally, the same as the the percentage of my hashrate (4 GH/s) vs the overall pool hashrate (12 GH/s).
Scenario 2: Normal Pool (let's say 0.1% of shares are stale)Of the 1000 shares I found, 1 was stale. So I found 999 valid shares.
Of the 2000 shares you found, 2 were stale. So you found 1998 valid shares.
I found 999 out of (999 + 1998) total shares. That is 999/2997 or 33.333% of shares and so I will get 33.333% of each block payment. That is, not coincidentally, the same as the the percentage of my hashrate (4 GH/s) vs the overall pool hashrate (12 GH/s).
ConclusionRate of stales doesn't matter as long as everyone is getting them with the same frequency and as long as the frequency of blocks being found is not reduced (which you agree isn't a concern in the p2pool case).