Topic: Placing value in the family (Read 763 times)

This is the way we have designed the world for ourselves, where we only value money and every other thing is none of the society's concern. Plenty people don't think about assisting others in achieving their goals and prosperity in life. All they are after is the monetary benefit they will get from you. I don't want to generalize this because there are always cases of exceptions to some genuine people around us who go out of their ways to see us succeed and they do that without requesting for anything in return. I pray we all surround ourselves with people like that, who will help us in our dreams than watch us sink because of money.

Life of a man is challenging itself, right from the beginning man have to take good care of his parents and also his siblings, this is not is duty yet but if eventually he happen to find himself in a family were finance is a big issue then he doesn't have any option rather to make himself available for them, by making sure he provide for them not necessary 100% but at least he has to do what his capable of him. What comes to mind of any grown man is marriage which is also necessary for him to do, in this aspect I always advised men to make sure marry a creative woman so that she can also take care of some of her responsibility apart from feeding, man no matter how poor you are make sure food is from you to avoid disappointments.

Whatsoever you are,never let your family down,  they are you backbone always invest in your family when you're at the top. Family should be your priority always. If you let your family down because of friends when you're in trouble friends will never help or care for you as family. So always think family first before helping out.

Have seen great men that didn't invest in their fall and no one care for them,  they always take family problems as second choice  and take friends problems as first.  Though there are friends that are more caring than family members but care family first that's your root.

You are absolutely right some times things will be very hard in the family where your parents can't provide enough in the family, in such situation my point there's  by  assist them, by supporting them financially, making
effort for your siblings school fees is also a good value to the the family making them proud, respect also matters.

Parenting is not an easy thing that's why we should be mature not only financially but in mind and character before getting into marriage, marriages are suffering so much because of the misunderstanding between th partners.
With what I have seen I think aan should make money because even though a woman has money she sees it as her own no matter what a man say nothing will be taken seriously unless his contribution in the family is more, men suffers more in the family, the men has been subjected to ridicule because of the fact that they are believed to be the head of family and they are expected to provide more than anyone in the family.

Money mata for this life. It always bring respect to you. Even as husband if you no get money na wahala as your wife no go give you the kind respect wey you deserve. I've you ever observed that na home where husband dey provide money Wella, na en wife dey call good names like honey, sweetie etc. So money mata no be small.

Yes oo my brother to an extend respect are earn ooo not because of age but by how much responsibility you are able to carry, I get this gist way op dey talk about it mostly happen in all families where their children don dey hustle dey bring money, in place it is always said that it is the person that has money is the eldest one it can be funny but that is what happening but is so bad because at point there be no equal love to be share among siblings and parents.

I go just say many of us here get luck onto say them never leave their family go mingle with other people to understand how life be over people wey no get anyone of those people or say the head of the family no come dey there again, e dey really worry because things wey be say old man supposed work the house na either you or another person go work am. Like this now, the person wey dey always show face for the family naim wey mother dey always value pass e no means say she no love others ohh but based on how e be say na person wey put drink for table naim be oga.
Na so this family matter be and since then till now I still dey picture out more things concerning people wey dey around me or wey me dey observed.

My brother, this matter na very serious matter and I really be victims but not really from the negative angle as I been loss my papa since 2016, my mama no gree give us space as she been Dey feel like she fit carry the whole load by herself and remember my family and a family of about 7 children plus my brother wife making us 8 as well as my two cousins wey been Dey with us and my mama no been really want make we do anything or even leave the family to go hustle as she been no want make we go suffer believing say, if my papa been Dey alive, we for no suffer, hence, she no been want make we just do anything by ourselves .

I also understand the fact say most parents and family Dey mount pressure on their children and personally I no think say, that na better idea as those unnecessary pressure fit even lead them astray if them no channel am to positive energy.

Broda na so E be ooh, make we talk truth, if you no get money and you don reach the age wey be say you suppose Dey provide for family and you no get job or anything wey Dey bring something come family, my brother you no get value, that thing Dey happen now for Nigeria very well, I never experience that thing ooh but I don see am with my eyes before, the family no get money and the bread winner of the house don graduate and he never get work and the second child go school go learn yahoo and be bringing better things come house and make their parents proud of him, e never reach two days the parents don start to Dey love the second child pass the first one because he no get money.

Imagine that kind thing fit scatter family and that is why we said money is the root of evil, money fit change people wey love you to deny you and money fit make people wey no love you to love you more than before, most of our parents wey Dey do that kind thing them no Dey think because no matter how is it, your child is still your child but once one of the children don make am them go love am pass the remaining one, the only thing to solve the issue be say make everybody go hustle.

I get big experience for this talk. the truth be say me personally I never experience am for my family based on say I beast born and my elder ones dey try their best for the house, I no too get responsibility wey I dey carry.

I get person wey I know him dey face alot based on the over expectation wey dey em head before so him no come later do well as them expect am for the family, committing suicide na just one of the little things wey me personally do talk am out of, if not i guess by now him for don go. The high hope wey parents dey put for them children, based on say them no make am to the level wey them want so them dey push the children to reach where Dem no reach and such come dey put pressure for young people body, if you no come dey meet up with their selfish expectation you are in a big trouble because the abuse and disrespect can lead to some thing else.

make people dey try reason with person wey things never set for him side, instead of disrespecting them. the person wey i dey talk about here na guy wey be say all him life dem don look am as the best for the family but to the greatest surprises of everyone the guy never make any useful something for himself the pressure of life dey hit am so much.
but at least I dey him back to put am to the right way even if people don leave am I believe say him still get star.

Make una wey be young parents or single men and woman for this forum learn to make una self up not to push una children to help una complete the life wey una no fit give una self, it frustrating to see such thing. na over expectation dey cause all this thing and na y I say make everybody no dey expect help or any thing from any body because life is dynamic and ever changing at the same time. no be weytin u dey expect go happen because you no be God. 

That is human being for us. You will be appreciated more if you have money but most times the poor are not recognized in the society. We should just learn to be ourself no matter the pressure the family put on us. Let's just remain hardworking and never stay far from right information, one day we will surely be there. Our success is at the corner and very close to us.

Make people no dey allow how family members treat us when we have nothing,  because if we allow ahm to disturb our peace of mind e fit break us down. This is always the attitude of family members and we should learn to get used to this and make we also understand too if we no get money today e no mean say money no go dey tomorrow.  Life na journey and everything no go remain the same for ever, na from step by step everything go dey okay.

Family is certainly an important factor. Some people have the family support in the world, but they don't have access to the resources or opportunities they need to be successful and others vice versa. Remember the common saying that " a good name is better than riches" so for me I think it's very important to value your family more than wealth because when e red for you now, na them go still come for you, dey go they der for you in terms of hard times, they go dey support you in different way. Although no be all family members be better people o but in despite of anything family na still family.

I think you are getting everything wrong. Before you respond to a post make sure you really understand what the post is talking about before responding. Your post is really off topic and it's not good. As a newbie I understand it's difficult, but you should first read and understand what a post is talking about before you respond and if you don't understand, it's not necessary to respond to all posts you see in the forum. It's better to keep quiet than to talk off topic as it's is not healthy.

That's why everyone needs to hustle to bring something to the table, last year I bought a phone for my mother and gave her and my dad money too, do you kno that amount of money I gave them is still trending in the family till this moment though the money was a little bit much to them but I never expected such happiness from my mum, she blessed me and I was very happy to have given my parents for the very first time, from that day my hustling mindset changed though it is not easy but what can I do.

I want to state it categorically as a man, make sure you are bringing something to the family because if you are not, you won't be that relevant and even when situation arises you won't be considered as an option.

Hey did you really comprehend my post correctly??
I dey talk say our parents dey give pass to our younger ones dem wey dey bring money pass  you for house that one kon make dem feel like say dem be number one for house onto say anything dem talk wey go happened instead of you the first son or daughter to give command first the last wey be ur small brother don pass order make dem do something and, at this point your mama go dey think say anything wey that one do dey right on her eyes without knowing say as you no dey bring. But if you kon start to dey bring now how you go feel am or how your mama go feel?
Please next time read information very well before commenting so dat dem no go report your post.

As Dem dey always yan say life no balance na dis kind matter now you go really see say truly life get K leg, this kind of issue don damage many home were wisdom is not apply and bring disowned of father and children, the issue on ground happened always, just painful where the junior one who get opportunity fail to use wisdom even correct parents when the love done exceeded limit and is bringing division.

Most of d mata dey always come from parents wey no dey reason say no be the fort of the one way opportunity never hit, because some kid of reference and praise den go they give the small one way dey resourceful fit curse division .

Parents wey no dey balance the situation fit raise the wing of the small one to boast and be proud wey go damage his life as many envy fit come out from his elderly once.

As for me I did not have such experience because my people is not the money type who love their children base on money they render to the family if not my younger once are still more resourceful than me but the place of  me as there elder brother have not be infringe by any despite their contribution financially.

I pray make nobody experience waiting Op dey talk for life because na big embarrassment. You reach the level wey be say your parents go ask you to bring something to the table, yet you no fit provide anything everybody go dey look down on you, even your junior ones. Nobody go dey happy say their parents dey suffer and they no fit support the family, but some parents no dey understand. If you no fit provide anything, e dey reach one level wey be say na your junior brother or sister dey provide, na you wey be the elder go dey run an errands because you no go get value, insult go dey drop everywhere. Person no dey even get peace of mind, if you ask for your food they will be like say na waiting yu sabi be that just to chop, you don't know how they buy the food.

Anytime wey be say bad things happen they can even use you to search as an example. For this life make we try work hard and make money to avoid see finish because na when money no dey all this they happen, if not how can a third child become the parent first choice just because he/she get money? This matter don make many of our youths to do bad thing for life because they no fit continue with the insult again.

That is life for you, this thing is not just happening only in the family but even outside from the home one comes from. Money brings respect,  when you don't have money it is difficult for people to give the kind of respect you want. The worse thing that can ever happen to man in life is to remain poor. When you are broke and make a suggestion to people they won't listen to uou or accept it because you don't have  money to show their is value.

Most times we do misunderstand these things. I dont think the value of the person will reduce because he do not have money. It is because he or she is ignorant to take care of responsibilities as an elder one and be responsible. You can expect an elder brother that loves smoking, gambling, drinking amd womanising to be responsible or take responsibilities into hand. Money doesnt solve all problems. This is because i have seen families with someone who has wealth but they are having issues in the family. I believe each member has its own importance in the family from good advice, peace maker, one who dont take bullshit and the financial supporting one.

One who dont accept to place importance in his family is just his decision. You cant say its because he is poor so he cant support the family.

To some extent it may not be something to generalize, some households could be very different from such practices but most times it happens. We are humans and we tend to pick interest on where benefits us. I also don't believe they get thrown and forgetting, our season may be quite different so we should understand and less every pressure.

When parents get old, it seems to be a extra for everyone, but it's not fair, if we live we will also be old one day, this must be remembered. Our parents work hard to raise us. After getting marriage we are separated from parents and all others family members. So I want to say we should not leave our family members. Another openion.. From now we need to take initiative activities for DCA method, If we savings a extra money it will be a great support for our future and we will not dependent to any others.

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

Chai, as I see this particular post now, e just be like say make I cry, because na the exact tin I experience when I been dy stay with my parents, which was in 2015, the worst year of my life.

During that time wey I just finish school, I no get work, my elder brother, and my two siblings Dem been all they work, all of dem dey assist the house with feeding money every month ending, but my own side, nothing come out because I no dy work, and I never still see work after graduation.

Every day was like hell to me, because before them go give me food, them go use talk finish the food for my belle first, before I go even eat am, them come even dy give my sister respect for the house pass me, but the one wey force me out of the house na the one wey my old girl tell me to go wash plate when my youngest sister dy around, when I confront her, she tell me say I no dy contribute anything for the house, say na my only contribution be that.

That day I use vexation use park all my things comot go stay with my friends, though my father come later beg me for that thing wey happen, and tell me to come back house, but I don already zero my mind, I say e better make I dy hungry and get peace of mind than to dy collect this kind insult everyday,  I stay there till I get work,  and I come later rent my own apartment till dis day.

As I see this post now e just reminded me of my own story in the past, and if we see the way me and my parents dy use relate now, and how Dem no dy carry me play, you go think say something like that no ever happen, but such is life. In such situation the best you can do for urself na to just stay strong because e no easy I swr.

   This matter wey OP drop don be tradition for our country,i believe say most of us wey dey this platform form dey experience am either you be the bread winner or rejected stone for the family, my friend wey dey wan commit suicide,no  do am because na sin for God hand ,no worry  him go do  am for you , because him know when him go give you money ,just bear ,for this period,if you watch well God dey teach you something and dey remodify you so that wen the money come you go know how to use am.

   Na so dis matter also be for marriage to if you no quick marry na problem.
   When i dey school one of my lecturer na first daughter,her parents say all her younger ones don marry finish wetin she dey wait for any man wey come her way make she marry, na so dem frustrate her say weda na book she go live her life with(PhD holder oo)wen the any man come she marry man wey no fit pay her bride price ,na she sponsor her marriage do everything,give the man money to pay her bride price because him no get  work and no be graduate sef,after marriage, she open shop for am no way ,buy motor to do taxi no,him go just sit down for house,she go go work, come back do house work him still dey complain anyhow say the woman dey take am do boyboy for house lastlast him still leave the woman .

Naturally no piken go feel happy say e no dey ever contribute for family needs me sometime I go just dey vex for my self say I no dey fit dey add value for family unto say my parents don suffer for my head train me for University I graduate still come dey feed under them with out contributing anything.
As time dey go I come dey notice say the way my parents dey do for me before when I still dey school how them dey treat me when ever I come bck home because that time them place me for high value no meeting they no dey involve me I no come dey see those things again after a year from NYSC. Only me come understand say na poverty dey cause this one, say if I get money some insult no go dey occur because no be small insult I receive but e motivated me to work harder and things started changing for good as I dey talk now my value don high for the family the respect don dey cos me dey deliver back to back.
All most very household family for naija still dey experience this thing till tomorrow.

Dis topic dey nice and na wetin dey happen for most of our families. E go dey very bad say afta your parent don try raise you up or you don grow up to a certain level you no fit bring anything on di table, because at some point dem no go dey regard you, not just your parents but your siblings too. E get tori wey I hear about a family wey dier fada die, di first son dey far far north and im no dey financially bouyant, so dem just hold meeting com bury dier papa. Afta burial dem come call di guy man dey tell am wetin happen, di guy com dey para say why dem go bury dier papa without im knowledge and presence... Dem com let di guy kno say na because nothing com out for him side, dat even di transport fee na dem go pay for am to and fro, so dem don reason am com decide to add di money for di burial expenses. So make una reason dat kind thing.

I no say all fingers no dey equal and di fact say e stew for you first no mean say e no go stew for anoda person. Dis na wetin most of our parents and siblings dey fail to understand, life is in circles and your own turn go come. But still on still e no mean say make person fold im arms dey look ceiling say im dey wait for God's time, one needs to go out there and do a legit hustle, no mata how small, appreciate your little beginning and trust God for beta things.

Dat is where responsible parentshood go come play. How di parents take prepare di children for di future challenges also means a lot. Though their destiny e dey their hands but di parents go set the pace or path for dem. But whereby the parents has done theirs and u come failed, na there di disrespect go come and him or her e no go get di respect in di family again. And dis thing many of e don see am for their families so experience is the best man to know all dis kind things.
As odas don tok am even as that though you don't have anything to offer to them but ur character towards dem go tell dem saw you be good person in di family. Do di right thing at right time shun evil. Be a good person in the society with day value will be restored back to you again. always think what you can do to support yourself and the family. There are lot of things you can do to support yourself and the family.

This na better truth you just sama for here my friend, because without doing all what you said as shown above, both parents and youth will be doing themselves more harm than good, that is, when the parents fails to unit the family due to their selfish gain, it scatters the family at end, and likewise, when a youth depends too much I getting a white collar job that is never forth coming, such individual end up wasting his time and grow old, and yet haven't got a single achievement, which makes him or her lose respect for himself. Because if there is one thing the hardship in this country thought us, is the ability to be able to hustle in any condition and yet still survive.

No be lie. E dey happen for every family. Now the worst part be say country con hard. Imagine the kind trauma most of them go pass through just because say money no dey hand.

Na man dey suffer this thing pass. The insult they always come as premium

Wow!

This topic make sense die and na real matter wey dey play for our African families normally.

Wetin dey cause this matter na economic hardship thereby promoting bitterness and envy. But the truth be say, everything boils down to MINDSET. Because, favouritism doesn't only thrive in families where poverty dwells. Favouritism no respect family background. Favouritism dey play for rich homes too.

To solve the matter na 2-way approach:

Firstly: Parents need to LOVE their kids equally without making anyone look irrelevant because of their current financial status. Parents need to understand say favouritism dey breed hatred and disunity. And e no go make sense say na parents go dey promote disunity amongst their own kids. That will be so bad.

Secondly:  As a guy man or babe, I go like advice say make we find something genuine to do. No wait make that big breakthrough land. Them say na small drops dey form ocean. Abi?... Today your small drop fit be POS shop, Simcard shop, Snacks joint,  Akara joint... As long as e dey fit buy your soap and soap for your family, as long as e dey buy small garr for you and your parents or your own family and as long as you dey fit save part of the money, ONE DAY THINGS GO SOFT FOR YOU! Because, na who enter bush dey see bushmeat catch.

At the end of the day, nah who get moni dem dey call boss. Dis mata Op bring na somtin wey don dey happen sins time immemorial and if I no dey mistaken, most times, nah the mama dey cos d discomfort of the individual. E good as mature boy or girl to get somtin to do o, even tho you still dey ya parents house because that way you go fit dey contribute for one or two things.

Nah for naija wey pesin don pass 20 and e still dey him parents house, for the western parts, once you reach 18, you don Japa because anything wey still keep you, you go begin pay rent. Bit that's by the way.
For my case, wen e bin red for me, nah confam shege I see cause as I no dey bring, anything I wan take e go dey measured for me, I no fit get peace of mind as somtin wey I go do without any intent towards the pesin wey dey bring moni for house, Dem go say I wan kill the good luck wey dem don get..

I just feel say the earlier we come to terms with the fact say nah who get pipo dey like appreciate, we go get rest because if we no understand, we fit go do pass ourselves and fit end up failing.
Most of us be potential parents and to stop these things from happening nah to correct those wrongs wey our parents do by putting aside favouritism and accept all of them as them dey.

Dis na serious matter wey some families for we country dey face. Wetin I get to talk for this matter be say, make we no too reason this particular matter because if person begin think about how him family don comot right from him hand give him other brodas and sistas wey dey too well, the person fit sick or go through wetin oyibo people dey call 'depression' and dis depression na very bad thing.

My people, if you know say your hand no too strong for the family, no just do asive nothing concern you for the family.  Because if you commot body from family issues because say you no get money, people go see you as person wey no dey useful.  Yes na, you dey useless for the family. Even if say money no dey, make your presence, ideas, strength and physical effort prove say you dey think better for the family.

As bad as e sound, e dey happen and even when some people realize say, them don dey cast for society and their families via say, them no dey meet up themselves to represent watin them suppose be or the value way suppose follow there positioning for birth, them just find themselves helpless on the situation and succumb to the situation.

Na the life most dey live inside. Still, you gats understand say, seniority no mean maturity and e no still mean say, you gats get pass your younger ones. All na your own thinking and the way you carry dey your pass from time make way for pure.

At least if you no too get, make you get enough to dey okay and put body for watin dey go on for family. Na the only way you fit keep your regard even when your junior onces don get pass you. In fact cef, e go be thingbof joy and a load taken off you when them dey do well.
Make you kwa get chance to do well and improve yourself. No let yourself down, e cast!

Let me cheep in small tin onto u be last born for
The family as far as u get money everyone will
Respect u for house even family meeting they will
Wait for you onto every way for the family matter

No be say because God done bless you, your Mama or papa no go still give respect to your sisters or lose value to them, he no mean say because you dey help the family provide things for house go stop them giving the rest special respect, but some parents know go reason am like that, dey go stop dey listing to the rest, if dey are talking because dey will say you don't have money dey will change allot,  but some family know mean say because you done get money pass the rest For house dey know go talk to you, when you do something wrong.he know make sense because you done get pass your sis or bro your parents go change him character. Parents were know waiting dey are doing dey will reduce the relationship where dey before, When the money never come.

Them say nah person wey wear shoe nai know where e dey pain am pass, if this thing never happen to anybody here I no sure say the person fit understand how e dey be for some of us wey e affect wella. E don happen to me when I finish school, house no too pure sotey my mama dy compare me with other people child, my dear make una no ever try that mistake for this life on any of una children, for people wey don born oh...But as e be like this no be every parents sabi wetin to take use as words of encouragement to their children but ones them see say Pikin "A" no dey solid for ground them go begin praise pikin "B" . To me oh I go say this matter no fit change as long as our parents dem don dey accustom to this behavior but hope dey, nah only we the future of tomorrow abi nah leaders of tomorrow nai fit change am in the sense that we no go do am to our children but encourage them tell them say e go better other than using offensive words and making them look small where their junior dey because say them they bring food for table and the senior no get to bring. Nah we go change that mentality no be our papa and mama because them don dy already soaked inside that yeye behavior, make una no vex say I call our parents behavior YEYE, e pain me when I remember wetin I pass through.

Each family has it life curddles and that's the cross we are all meant to vear individually depending on the kind of family we found ourselves in, we cannot because of the challenges of what we sometimes faces in the family to neglect their roles and importance to human development in life, we are going to later depends on the family when we are having issues with life but we will always want to distant from them when we are ok without having life challenges.

On a normal day as a matured boy/girl for family, maybe as first son/daughter, you go happy say you just dey house and you no dey provide anything for una family?

 I know say una answer go be No.

Make we dey sincere to ourselves, nobody go Happy say en no get monetary value for their family weda you be first child or other wise,  e take the grace of God and family wey get fear of God to value such person in the family, na who dey provide for family Dem dey always place value on, e dey happen almost for all families, though e dey deh very painful shall, but na the truth I dey want talk.

For my area like this I know family wey be say the second son get money pass the first son by far, you need to see how the parents and siblings dey respect the second son, na the second son even build the family house wey all of them dey stay like this,
If Dem get family meeting and the second son never come, the meeting no go start, but Dem go fit hold meeting without first son, just because the second son dey and en get money.

Nai make most times as a first child you need pray and hustle very well, because for family now na who get money dey get respect and value for their family, e come matter your position in via birth...

Na matter like this dey make some men go involve for the wrong things just say make pepper begin show so that Dem go get mouth for house and outside. If we no tie our emotion very well omo we go loose our conscience. Parents suppose dey give first born better rope to climb because na Dem still suppose dey show light for the rest at least to some extent.  House wey hand no dey reach for wetin dem want dey always antagonize demselves but if all man get, no body go dey worry who do or who no do.

The thing no dey shock me again na because they say money na root of all evil. Life no suppose be so but without money nobody send your papa, even your papa no go send you. I dey see the challenges as a motivation to work hard and make the money no matter how little. Respect no be by age or reciprocal again ooo once you get money Omo even if you kill person people go dey blame the person wey you kill.

Na we the first born dey feel the heat pass for this matter I swear. I pray make God no shame any first born for him family. I remember some years back wey my sister wan get married. I swear na from outsider I hear the information of my own sister marriage because I no get money to add to anything even if they tell me for house and they no kuku invite me for the meeting. Remember say I be the first born ooo e no funny but I just dey laugh with pain when I remember the matter.

Gradually, as I comot for house con hustle and begin dey show impact for family matters small small, things change no be small. Dem dey consult me for everything now. Even thou na fly pass our house dem go call to tell me. Abeg e good to get money.

Nothing commot for wetin you also put here too, na so envy dey carry start for family wey God don create well give the man. See this wey me just come write here na wetin me bin dey pass through and i know say some people here go fit dey face this kind thing but onto say nobody they really yan about this matta dem fit decide to lockup, but rightful truth na wetin you just talk to pass the parole give we elderly ones make them take help set the compass so that peace fit dey for the family. Like before me wey be woman when I be dey lap my old woman she go dey always para for me any small tin others go tok she carry laugh if me yan that kind thin she go pick offense based on say me no dey drop peanut for the house make them take sweep house but like this as pepper begin rest for hand like na me be talkina do for house but with style i dey run parole onto say I still give people's that mattas their regards for we family.
Make i no too go dip inside my family but e get as we take grow sha no wetin me go yan here.



My brother the tori like this ehh e chock bicus immediately you get money na that time all forms of relatives go raise head say you be their sister daughter or Brother Son, especially say you wey be woman wey dem expect nothing good fit come out of that person go make them shock and immediate begin to buy favor from your ends.
But anyhow, based on this matter ehh na serious tin wey dey happened like bicus we no too put eyes or we no stay together as everybodi take grow make you feel like say this tin wey i dey tok no too show, if na that time wey we dey with mumsy for home where everybodi dey hustle dey bring small small na dey highest builder them go give attention pass oo.

The truth be say at all times, the need for money can never be overemphasized which is why those poor and average parents when they see say a particular pikin dey provide rubbers, they always place more value on that very pikin compared to others in the family, not minding if he or she be the youngest or not, as long as the pikin dey always provide what others can't do in the family due to his/her financial status, wey dey most times cause envy among this children when they notice mumsy or popsy don dey favour one person pass the others.
Moreover, money na one thing wey when you no get am, nobody go know you that time, but the moment you cash out, everybody go automatically turn to be your brother, sister, aunty & uncle.

I no go lie give you, almost 90% of families d guilty of this kind matter. If one of their pikin get the money pass the others, na that their pikin wey dem go regard pass the rest of their pikin. Every little thing na that their wey d provide for them, na him dem go the praise and talk good of, making the ones wey no d provide anything feel less of themselves like sae them no d try for the family.

I don see in many families wey this kind thing the happen, how em take put their families in disunity. Parents love divided based on the amount of money wey you get. If you no get, no regard for you as their pikin. You will be talked to anyone as sef you worth nothing for the family.

That's why you go see some young guys no d ready to come back home until they make it in life. Not that home no d hungry dem to come see their parents, na because they no want make their family make them feel less of themselves as if they are not trying.

There is this adage wey people d say, ''when you get money, you are called honey, when you no get you be address as monkey''. Many parents are indirectly using that adage on their children, which them no care to know that kind depressing mode and pressure they are putting their children that are yet to start providing for the family into.

I pray make God bless everyone wey d do legit work for here. Make Oluwa butter their bread so that their parents no go disregard them or pressure them in doing something stupid just to meet up or prove themselves to their parents that they can provide for the family also

Na true thing wey u tok and dis kind things dem dey happen for 98% family for the society, na only few strong Christian families di thing e no dey happen. And parents wey dey do those, most of them no be responsible parents, because their time dem no fit provide anything for the children and now wen di younger ones come get money pass am nai dem come do like sae na one kind thing. Na dis kind of things wey some parents dey do dey make their children wayward. By right parents supposed encourage and not to crucify.
This behaviour in our society is not good. Comparison dey cause enemy and we have to avoid it in all time. For those of us wey don understand di thing now, make we no dey do am in our families. Because na bad behaviour be dat.

I just dey read this thing wey you dey talk come dey reason life, na very shameful something wen e be you wey supposed dey carry ur Junior ones hands dey wake show road come become dey one wey dey call your junior ones boss because say dem hold and nothing dey your side. I never enter dis kind situation before and I use abeg beg God to no allow me enter. E no mean say I no dey wish my younger ones success but make me too dey get the success so as dem drop 10 naira me I drop too and now we get 20 naira for the family and no be the situation wey be say na only dem go dey bring the 20 naira, e no make sense. I dey see people wey be say dem dey in this exact situation wey you write so and I dey observe as things dey go for their side.

Sometimes wey the snrs go dey do like everything dey okay, if you watch well small small jealousy go dey dey and you no go blame am because him dey see you do wetin na him supposed dey do. Sha if we dey in a position wey be say na we dey provide and our Snr no get anything abeg use wisdom take the run the mata, even though your family carry value give you as OP talk abeg carry shoulder down and make ur Snr dey incharge. Put yourself in his position and understand say life no easy. Just because you dey alright no mean say the other person no dey hustle. My people talk say, '"person wey life dey blessed go think say the other people no dey hustle ". sometimes pass back give your Snr the bread make him give your family so him go dey get respect small and try carry am along.

You know say money get spirit wey dey follow am and e go hard to see house wey the younger one nai dey feed and still get respect for the others wey be him senior. I fit use one of my friend household as an example the house na their younger brother nai dey feed the house and the boy no dey gree do anything for the house again as him don turn oga and everyone just dey quite because na there food dey come on a daily.

I go say this problem dey very common for our country. Some parent no dey know say everybody get him time when he go shine. God no fit bless everybody the same time. Those parents wey dey downgrade their first pikin because say he never make money,those parents like money too much and why them the parents no make am when them young. My parent no dey like that,instead na pray and how to help the situation on ground na e my mom go dey reason. I don see this kind of thing well,and sometimes that pikin wey first get money wey make them downgrade the first child dey end up getting the money in a wrong way. Actually,I no see any fault from parents wey dey act like this,where dey vex me pass na if the younger one wey don dey help the family small small no come dey respect him senior.

😭Dear poster, na so I dey transparent to u reach 😢?

Imagine a situation way nobody go sku 4 our generation me com dey sku small small every1 dey hapi dey hail me say I be the light of the family.
My mama, papa, siblings and relatives dey cheer me say na me go clear shame 4 the family all of dem dey say na me go bread the family based on the grace way dey folo me.

I be num. 6 of 8 and I still dey single left with me and our last born but if family issues com na me dem dey call to conclude or decide of the mata and my contribution na jst oral communication oh no b moni cuz I no get at all and family still dey feed me.
Mama, papa and others dey respect me and dey value everytin of me even dey use me do guy for people til I graduate.

I don dey house 4 5yrs nw after graduation yet no job and no source of income.

Nw dem all dey c me as disappointment every1 dey treat me like I be stranga 4 the house my mama nw self dey abuse me say no hope in me say dem no dey depend on me say I dey useless comparing me and my frnds dey make the house hell 4 me to stay.

Na my junior broda dey trend 4 her nw cuz I really failed and I no com b wetin dem expect me to be.

Dem go cook 4 house gimme food only wen dem like.

Sometimes I dey feel like to comit suicide to end d hard situation cuz e dey me hard to handle but I jst dey hope on God while I strive to make a beta life but e still never get head.

We pray make sucide no bea choice for us on such and make frustration no weak us wia we supose strong to win

Wetin we go understand be say parenting na big work itself. Parents suppose to balance things wey no balance to the level wey them fit. No be until parents hold scatter be the thing and no be just because one child hold and the other no hold be the the wey dey make their eyes or love shift enter for one person side, parents na human being so just like you go see someone and get natural likeness for the person side, na so kwa wey parents go take like one wey be say even if that one no dey do well, dem go dey pray or dey wish say na that one wey dem love inside their inner mind get dat pepper. Abi you never also see where na you hold cash and dey do things but dem still dey carry glory give another child. This life no balance my brother that's why I been say parents go try balance things. Although we all understand the power of money and wetin money fit do, the family matter dey everywhere but some worse though.

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?