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Topic: Psychological problems due to Crypto. (Read 1049 times)

sr. member
Activity: 700
Merit: 250
Vave.com - Crypto Casino
July 13, 2018, 05:22:29 PM
#39
Just to add, it's never to late to get in to crypto, whenever you invest never think that you're late and don't rush your self. Those who earned a lot due to crypto are those who are really patient. There's always great reward for patience.

Patience is a talent I must say, but having the dilemma over locking-on profits or hitting home runs which is holding a coin until it worth millions of $$. It's so damn hard. Anyways, HODLers wont lose.

'HODLers won't lose' is my motto too in order to keep my psychologically sane, plus small spread across some altcoins. But this business can be depriving others in many ways, some costing their sanity... so keep calm and going
legendary
Activity: 2590
Merit: 3015
Welt Am Draht
July 11, 2018, 01:31:48 PM
#38
I can no longer enjoy videogames, or watching movies, anything that doesn't have to do with making money feels like a waste of time. I view human beings as sheep and children, who don't understand the most important thing is to make money. I work over 12 hours a day doing nothing but related to money.

Having a reread of this thread, this stands out to me.

For a bit at the start of the year I had a substantial amount of paper wealth, not that I really planned to touch it until 2020.

I had a mull over what it meant. That money did not make me more - sexy, friendly, intelligent, healthy, happy, successful.

All it was was more money. It removes more worry and provides more opportunity of course, nothing much else springs to mind.

member
Activity: 112
Merit: 12
July 10, 2018, 03:39:39 PM
#37

There's so much of my own story in your story, dude. You are not alone. We are all hoping for the best.

member
Activity: 434
Merit: 18
WPP ENERGY - BACKED ASSET GREEN ENERGY TOKEN
March 01, 2018, 08:00:06 PM
#36
I don't know if its a psychological problem but I always think about the coins I was selling so I ended up staring at my screen most of the time. I was also curious with the alts price so I'm always checking it. My husband says to at least do something rather than just staring at my screen. Whenever we talked, there will always be a topic about cryptos. He's interested on it so he's okay. I think I'm not in the psychological problem path but if I continue maybe it can have an effect on my life. I'll try not to think about it, or may it will pass.
full member
Activity: 195
Merit: 102
DiMS dev team
February 28, 2018, 06:30:03 PM
#35
OP you should understand that many so called early adopters (maybe most) aren't really so rich. No matter on what shitloads of  coins  they sit  initially.
In order  to  be rich  you  need  to put  into  risk almost all of  what  you  have(in terms of  fiat),  for a  certain period  of  time. No matter  what  kind of an investment. Just count persons  you  know, able  to  do  that.  How many  of  them  are so bold or  reckless, I ensure  you  not  many
jr. member
Activity: 112
Merit: 2
February 17, 2018, 02:40:10 PM
#34
Please see a psychotherapist as soon as possible.
member
Activity: 167
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Revolutionising KYC Services
February 17, 2018, 02:31:30 PM
#33
Dude, your problem is familiar to everyone, who ever dealt with crypto currency. When you understand how much many you can get from this, "making money" process gets the most important sense. We should never forget, crypto money is easy to get and easy to loose as well. And when you look at life in general, you see that there are bigger values, like family, closed friends, self development, love, health.
sr. member
Activity: 798
Merit: 258
February 17, 2018, 08:07:01 AM
#32
Bro, as you could have imagined already, your thread is so long that it took me a good while reading it all and understanding it.
Let me tell you something
In the first place, what we call life, is insecure, so insecure, that by tomorrow you can´t know for certain that you will wake up or not (no matter if you live in the safest place in the world, or the most dangerous).
Once you are conscious about that, you will understand that even the richest person on Earth (what you call rich, and socially accepted,) can die by tomorow, which at the end makes you no different than him, except the buying power.

Nope I can be sure I will wake up tommorow because I have psychic power to predict the future. Now you may say, why am I not a millionaire if I can predict the future? Well I cannot predict the future exactly, only generally. Also because, I squandered most of my life being lazy and doing nothing, now I am catching up Scrambling like the rebel alliance while the Death Star approaches my planet in half an hour.

I have asked God to kill me in my sleep so I wouldn't have to endure another day of misery. But deep down with my psychic power I knew that I would wake up in the morning, that is how I know with my psychic power I will wake up tommorow.

I have also thought about how the only difference between me and the rich is their money. I have also thought that death is the great equalizer, we are all the same in the end. However then I realize that me being rich is the only way to save society. I turn on the news and see all the facism and I say, me being rich I can save the planet. Or I can die poor and save nobody and have a miserable life. So I feel like I am leading an epic battle to create a utopia to be rich, and the health of all minds depends on me being rich.



As I can see with your experience before you get involve in crytpo you are already lazy, right?
Then you just said you can predict the future and not exactly what it could be happen, you said that. meaning it shows your prediction is not precise still there's a bit doubt in your mind why you didn't buy and hold some of bitcoin. Therefore, you really not a true psychic for me.
full member
Activity: 406
Merit: 102
February 15, 2018, 10:18:00 PM
#31
Guy, your psychological problems are not due to crypto. They have always been there.. Before you were in crypto you were lazy, did nothing and didn't care about yourself. This is depression and that leads to other mental illnesses.

You need to go talk to a professional and work together to find medication that will help. With the right meds you'll think and act like a normal person. Life will be much easier to cope with.

Good luck.



I agree and it should not be blamed in cryptos. Depressions can occurs pertaining to anything. The thing is you just happen to see great potential, got obsessed with it, had losses and worried too much.
It's really up to your ability in handling such situations.

Hopefully,  you can lessen your stress not just in cryptos but in other things too.
full member
Activity: 280
Merit: 101
February 13, 2018, 10:16:35 AM
#30
Your psychological problem show that one has to always seize any opportunity
that comes your way.Especially, when you notice that the human traffic in that
opportunity is becoming astronomical, then know that there must be something
impacting and benefiting involved.We have to never sit on the fence when people
or friends are plunging into opportunities.Though we should make some calculated
analysis, we have to get involved.
sr. member
Activity: 714
Merit: 260
February 13, 2018, 09:00:39 AM
#29
Guy, your psychological problems are not due to crypto. They have always been there.. Before you were in crypto you were lazy, did nothing and didn't care about yourself. This is depression and that leads to other mental illnesses.

You need to go talk to a professional and work together to find medication that will help. With the right meds you'll think and act like a normal person. Life will be much easier to cope with.

Good luck.


right on this one mate,seems like they blaming the crypto for what had they having now when the truth is they are mentally emotional and what youve said is true that it was a depression..

And reading such long story looks like this guys are a frustraded writers and maybe best for editing for just checking how accurate they delivered each post
newbie
Activity: 112
Merit: 0
February 13, 2018, 05:01:06 AM
#28
It influences people as well as any other kind of illusion of easy money. Like casino I'd say. But it's not, it's investments and people should consider risks seriously.
I feel sorry about you and I hope you are ok now, don't worry, everything will be fine, just don't try to get everything at once
newbie
Activity: 182
Merit: 0
February 10, 2018, 03:00:11 PM
#27
Hey! I think you can use crypto to face your problems inside and try to cope with them.
I understand what you experience is really hard...
I have been diagnosed with bipolar-I disorder 4 years ago.
Had job/family/relationship problems for years. Bipolar disorder includes anxiety too...
I was always impatient, impulsive and anxious.

And I jumped into the crypto world. Everything started falling apart again. I wasn't able to sleep, started losing money, anxiety, impulsive sell/buy.
Then I talked to my doc, asked if I should quit. He encouraged me to trade more, read more and use crypto to help cure myself.
It was hard first weeks... But then I found myself getting patient... I can lose or I can win, but life continues and things are going to be just fine...
Now I am calm and hopeful (even for the last 3 weeks)
You sometimes have to push yourself... I know it's hard, but you can do it!
Just hodl yourself and your coins Cheesy

member
Activity: 266
Merit: 10
February 10, 2018, 02:27:31 PM
#26
I understand your sorrow, but is it really worth crying so much? Thanks God, you've never thought of a lottery ticket, which you probably could have bought)) We cannot catch all the chances. Who knows, where to lose, where to gain.
full member
Activity: 306
Merit: 102
Just another random pre satoshi crypto freak
February 05, 2018, 06:44:32 PM
#25
full member
Activity: 602
Merit: 103
February 04, 2018, 11:58:04 PM
#24
Just to add, it's never to late to get in to crypto, whenever you invest never think that you're late and don't rush your self. Those who earned a lot due to crypto are those who are really patient. There's always great reward for patience.

Patience is a talent I must say, but having the dilemma over locking-on profits or hitting home runs which is holding a coin until it worth millions of $$. It's so damn hard. Anyways, HODLers wont lose.
full member
Activity: 602
Merit: 103
February 04, 2018, 11:52:01 PM
#23
I feel you man. I am also on the same situation as you but what we have in difference is Im a newbie like I just know about bitcoin since I have made this btt account. I feel the same struggles as you. At the moment I have no idea on how to get out in this kind of situation so more probably I would watch the video you referred. I would love to see your future post on how you can/would improve in the next few months or maybe a year from now. We can be HEROES. I will also try to improve this lifestyle of mine so I can also share my story. KUDOS!
sr. member
Activity: 700
Merit: 254
January 29, 2018, 02:37:00 PM
#22
I had the same situation before, I have known bitcoin when it was cheap and recently checked the price and was very shocked. I really think that you just really took it really hard that you missed the opportunity to become rich. I really think that you need to seek professional help because what you are experiencing is not really due to bitcoin. Maybe you are just too stressed because of pressure that you want to catch up because you missed a great opportunity before.

Just to add, it's never to late to get in to crypto, whenever you invest never think that you're late and don't rush your self. Those who earned a lot due to crypto are those who are really patient. There's always great reward for patience.
newbie
Activity: 49
Merit: 0
January 29, 2018, 12:20:24 PM
#21
member
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Merit: 22
January 29, 2018, 07:49:54 AM
#20
Permit me OP, with no offense but I think you might have been experiencing some slightest psychological disorders prior before you engage yourself in cryptocurrency. Since digital coins, as it nature can cause one to worry much because of issues like unstable price, the coin turning into a shitcoin etc. I suggest you should give investing in cryptocurrency a break and take care of you first.
Seriously, even how good Cryptos might be, there are some investment that are not meant for people with certain health condition like psychology issues or those with hypertension. Not everyone can control their emotions.
newbie
Activity: 34
Merit: 0
January 28, 2018, 12:38:32 PM
#19
legendary
Activity: 2464
Merit: 3158
January 28, 2018, 08:14:14 AM
#18
You certainly had this issues before crypto, but it somehow revealed it to you.
It's a good thing, since now you can move forward with a broader look on your situation.
You should seek professional help. It isn't a big deal to go to a shrink once/several times a week. I know a lot of people doing so, and these people are getting better.

Also, remember that money shouldn't be the focus in your life. Self blooming feels waaay better.

Good luck !
copper member
Activity: 2856
Merit: 3071
https://bit.ly/387FXHi lightning theory
January 28, 2018, 07:42:38 AM
#17
@OP. I know the feeling of missing out on a loss of earnings.
Since I have been in Bitcoin, it's value has gone up hundredfold (literally).

I often wonder "if I'd just invested then, just £1500 I'd have a lot now".

But more recently, I think, if I had hodl(Ed) with it, I'd have lost 50% nearly from the price bouncing to almost $20000 and recently just below half that.

When did your friend tell you to invest in it?

You gave to remember that, as much as something can go up in value, it can go down just as fast. But bitcoins future is bright! There are enough countries that encourage it's adoption or don't care about it.

Though if you want to invest in bitcoins you should print off its private key and put it somewhere to difficult to tempt yourself to find. Or you'll cash out as soon as something happens.
newbie
Activity: 107
Merit: 0
January 27, 2018, 08:39:49 PM
#16
I missed out on buying ethereum around $10 almost exactly a year ago. I think about it all the time and it bothers me a lot. I also check my portfolio like twice an hour at the minimum due to the volatility of the market. I understand you and feel your pain. I guess the only thing I can offer is a bit of advice....take it all as a learning experience and be thankful at least now you know what's up and still have time to capitalize on the economic revolution we are all apart of.

By the way it's wise. All of us pay or paid for books, most of us paid for some education, so this experience of profitable outcomes which have been missed must be considered not as we lost, but as we paid those missed amounts for being educated and granted with experience. We must be strong and smart enough to make actual conclusions of these cases, get up from knees and run towards new opportunities. History is a good and true kind of teacher, and history often repeats, we should remember this fact.
member
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Las Vegas
January 26, 2018, 10:39:03 AM
#15
I missed out on buying ethereum around $10 almost exactly a year ago. I think about it all the time and it bothers me a lot. I also check my portfolio like twice an hour at the minimum due to the volatility of the market. I understand you and feel your pain. I guess the only thing I can offer is a bit of advice....take it all as a learning experience and be thankful at least now you know what's up and still have time to capitalize on the economic revolution we are all apart of.
newbie
Activity: 107
Merit: 0
January 25, 2018, 09:41:20 PM
#14
Quote

for those of us who missed the bitcoin train, there is another coming called XRP:)

Don't promote anything in this thread especially such bullshit honeypot as XRP.

Well, the thread is mostly discussing the missed opportunities. The author is depressed so deep and each of has probably felt like him many times during our mature periods of life.

Hedda Gabler, may I know your age and which country do you live in? I guess you are 36-40 years old from the US.
legendary
Activity: 2590
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Welt Am Draht
January 25, 2018, 08:22:04 PM
#13
I would need the fingers of the population of continental Europe to count the amount of lost opportunities in crypto that have passed me by. If I had gone down every road that interested me I would have paper wealth far beyond $100 million.

I first learnt about Bitcoin in 2009 and spent a few hours reading about it. For a short while I thought I should start mining it. Of course I got distracted by a kitten video and came back four years later.

If you maintain some skin in the game you will eventually hit a jackpot. In the meantime there'll be coins that fly past you. There's no point in envying that. No one can predict it. And at certain points other people will be envying you.

And wasting hours on research and scraping airdrops will probably degrade your performance. Sit on what you believe in and if it's good enough it'll eventually come through. In the meantime get on with some actual living.
member
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January 25, 2018, 06:48:59 PM
#12
I have been kicking myself for the last 12 months now, I bought 2 bitcoins about 5 years ago at around $200 each on eToro. I sat on them watching them grow and was even pretty smug as they smashed through the $2000 early 2017. I was then concerned about the value of them so got hold of a hardware wallet to move them onto. To my disappointment though when I logged in to eToro the coins had auto sold at 20% profit. So I came away $80 bucks up. I should have been happy however I was expecting to be $3600 up. Then in the passing months I watched them grow and grow.  have now bought back in at an astronomically high price compared to initial buy in. Oh well live and learn I guess. (I still blame eToro though!!)


for those of us who missed the bitcoin train, there is another coming called XRP:)
member
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"ETHERJACK.io - Blockchain Jackpot game! ICO LIVE!
January 25, 2018, 01:53:40 PM
#11
I have been kicking myself for the last 12 months now, I bought 2 bitcoins about 5 years ago at around $200 each on eToro. I sat on them watching them grow and was even pretty smug as they smashed through the $2000 early 2017. I was then concerned about the value of them so got hold of a hardware wallet to move them onto. To my disappointment though when I logged in to eToro the coins had auto sold at 20% profit. So I came away $80 bucks up. I should have been happy however I was expecting to be $3600 up. Then in the passing months I watched them grow and grow.  have now bought back in at an astronomically high price compared to initial buy in. Oh well live and learn I guess. (I still blame eToro though!!)
member
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January 24, 2018, 04:23:07 PM
#10
Some of this do sound very familiar. I've happened to meet someone 4 years ago who bragged about that he is going to be a multi millionaire within the next few years.. At the time I was so involved with my business, fine women and parties that I simply didn't bother researching it any further. In the summer of 2017 I bumped into some news flash about bitcoin and realized how stupid I was for being ignorant. At the time i could've bought it at $1500 Smiley Now, I pay attention to everything that everyone has to share with me.



FYI... keep your text short, most people are bad listeners, instead they want to be listened Smiley
member
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January 23, 2018, 02:44:14 AM
#9
i think that would be good for you to have a break and go take some fresh air. You will be more succesful with a refreshed mind Smiley
full member
Activity: 448
Merit: 110
January 20, 2018, 12:35:18 PM
#8
Wow, that was a very long post! I would be dishonest if I claimed I was comfortable reading all that. Anyway, I will advise that you take a break off everything cryptocurrency related, one month should be enough to refresh yourself.


And then there's all these free airdrops, there are so many I can't even track them all, and they make you go through so much effort to sign up, sometimes I get paranoid and say "Will they correctly register me as an airdrop? Or will they not like my facebook because I don't have many friends, or will they not like my twitter because I don't have many followers. Will all the airdrops go through? Will I catch all the airdrops before they expire?" And the fact I already have successful airdrops is not enough.

For your sanity, ignore all platforms in the habit of advertising all forms of airdrops. I remember I had delete free airdrop whatsapp and telegram groups that I was part of due to the frequency of pointless airdrops.
sr. member
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CryptoTalk.Org - Get Paid for every Post!
January 20, 2018, 12:29:40 PM
#7
This kind of things really occur with those who are OC and so soft in real life, i mean those who can't afford not to check their porfolio from time to time. I mean in just few seconds they are too worry specially when prices are going down. I believe it's not impossible that Crypto trading may affect your own mental health. I mean whatever you are doing if you are too soft and overthinking you'll end same as this.
legendary
Activity: 1946
Merit: 1005
My mule don't like people laughing
January 19, 2018, 10:13:44 AM
#6
Guy, your psychological problems are not due to crypto. They have always been there.. Before you were in crypto you were lazy, did nothing and didn't care about yourself. This is depression and that leads to other mental illnesses.

You need to go talk to a professional and work together to find medication that will help. With the right meds you'll think and act like a normal person. Life will be much easier to cope with.

Good luck.

jr. member
Activity: 103
Merit: 3
January 19, 2018, 08:58:56 AM
#5
It's never too late and try not to be so hard on yourself.

I'll tell you a little story.  Back in 2008 I had a respectable, well-paying job. Then the financial crisis happened. I was lucky because I had a large amount of money at the time. Myself and my ex-partner relocated to live next to the beach. Very nice, sun, blue skies, etc. But at the height of the crisis with no job or other income in sight. In 2009 when Bitcoin was starting, I was sat on the beach with a shiny new Macbook wondering how I was going to make this life economically viable.  At the time, I was waking up to all sorts of news stories about how the Euro could disappear inside of a week, etc. I honestly did not know where to put the remaining money. I heard about Bitcoin and even downloaded a few mining programs.  I gave it up as a bad idea and ignored it.

Fast-forward a few years, the money ran out and I was struggling, moving from one employment-starved location to another.  The bank decided to hang onto my last 2k because it was in a time-released fund. They would have preferred I died starving on the street rather than release it. I eventually got it and continued struggling for a few more years.

Then last year, Bitcoin caught my attention again, shortly after it had gone over $1000.  I said to a friend of mind (who is permanently broke) why not invest a little in Bitcoin each week.  He said yes, good idea, then never did anything.  He is still broke today.  I started last June.  At the time, other people were saying "Isn't it a bit late?", etc., but I did not listen to them - I had discovered alt-coins.  I spoke to another friend just after Bitcoin went over 2k - he had bought 10 when they were $5, then proceeded to lock himself out of his wallet.  He has done nothing since with it and was another naysayer, even though he is living on a student loan.  I had another discussion with a 3rd friend the day Bitcoin hit 6k, which went along the lines of "why didn't I invest earlier?" and "alt coins is gambling".  She also had tried mining programs but given up on them.  We agreed to meet to talk further about it, but so far, we haven't.

I made myself a target for the last week of 2017, which would have been very respectable had I saved in fiat. I ended up over 500% of my target, in fact, I made 150% of my target on one coin alone. I am not a financial person, I have always found it difficult to save money in a bank.  Crypto seems to work with me.  Diversity is key - I split my funds between the coins I am collecting/hodling, day trading and mining.

I came to the conclusion that 99% of people in this space are full of BS or have their own agenda. I ignore the pump & dump groups and the Twitter shills, etc. I have managed to find a couple of people who do give good advice. But at the end of the day, do your own research & invest in the coins/companies that you believe in.  Also, ignore the friends that just want to make a quick buck, I'm finding it better to say nothing to anyone at the moment.  I've already had very strange looks from a so-called friend who spends his money on beer & cigarettes after I told him I'd made some good money off one ICO and another has already told me he "wants my bitcoins when I die"(!).  So maybe the less other people know, the better... There's also no point "crying over spilt milk" - what's done is done and we can't change the past. But there is always the future and there are plenty of opportunities.

As for the psychological issues, I have some of those too, so I guess that is more or less normal.  I'm actually in the middle of a Masters and completely changed my thesis to be blockchain-related at the last minute simply because I am not thinking about anything else.  I see this as a positive - I have finally woken up and become "money-minded" - and trust me, I spent enough years wasting money as well.  I guess as your portfolio increases, those issues will decrease.  Give it time.

Just my 2c worth, hope it was useful.
jr. member
Activity: 532
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January 19, 2018, 08:10:16 AM
#4
Hey Bro I feel you. I first meet bitcoin like 2 years ago when the price was $200-$400 only and invested money on this HYIP sites and got scam many times. I thought bitcoin and other cryptocurrency was all scam so I decided to stop that time. Last August I think I decided to try again investing on this cryptocurrency but got scam gain and decided to to invest anymore. And I happen to know this airdrop tokens and participated in random airdrops and last December sold some of the tokens. i have sell one coin which was 10,000 pcs for $100+ only and after a few days that coin increases so $1,800+ think about it. I also got paranoid and couldn't sleep for nights for that mistake but now I already move on. There's nothing we can do about the past we just need to learn something from it and be more wise next time and be more positive in life. I always tell this to my self myself this all happens for a reason and God won't give us problems we cannot solve. So never give up. Don't stop when your tired, stop when your done.  Cheesy
member
Activity: 112
Merit: 12
January 18, 2018, 05:13:31 PM
#3
Bro, as you could have imagined already, your thread is so long that it took me a good while reading it all and understanding it.
Let me tell you something
In the first place, what we call life, is insecure, so insecure, that by tomorrow you can´t know for certain that you will wake up or not (no matter if you live in the safest place in the world, or the most dangerous).
Once you are conscious about that, you will understand that even the richest person on Earth (what you call rich, and socially accepted,) can die by tomorow, which at the end makes you no different than him, except the buying power.

Nope I can be sure I will wake up tommorow because I have psychic power to predict the future. Now you may say, why am I not a millionaire if I can predict the future? Well I cannot predict the future exactly, only generally. Also because, I squandered most of my life being lazy and doing nothing, now I am catching up Scrambling like the rebel alliance while the Death Star approaches my planet in half an hour.

I have asked God to kill me in my sleep so I wouldn't have to endure another day of misery. But deep down with my psychic power I knew that I would wake up in the morning, that is how I know with my psychic power I will wake up tommorow.

I have also thought about how the only difference between me and the rich is their money. I have also thought that death is the great equalizer, we are all the same in the end. However then I realize that me being rich is the only way to save society. I turn on the news and see all the facism and I say, me being rich I can save the planet. Or I can die poor and save nobody and have a miserable life. So I feel like I am leading an epic battle to create a utopia to be rich, and the health of all minds depends on me being rich.

full member
Activity: 151
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Believe in Yourself, Do Magic, Be the Magic!
January 18, 2018, 05:01:10 PM
#2
Bro, as you could have imagined already, your thread is so long that it took me a good while reading it all and understanding it.
Let me tell you something
In the first place, what we call life, is insecure, so insecure, that by tomorrow you can´t know for certain that you will wake up or not (no matter if you live in the safest place in the world, or the most dangerous).
Once you are conscious about that, you will understand that even the richest person on Earth (what you call rich, and socially accepted,) can die by tomorow, which at the end makes you no different than him, except the buying power.
Now once you have that clear, go to next step.... you can´t be in 100 places in the same time, you can´t travel to the south in the same instant while you travel to the north, is one or the other. Basically you did something, which is better than nothing.
You can see the glass half way full, or half way empty, it all depends on you...
If you truly understand all the above points, all your problems should be fixed by now.
Bruce Lee used to say: Be like water....
I say, learn to live, see, understand, and allow life to manifest, observe it, and take action.
If you don´t understand, im sure one day you will.
Everybody day doesn´t last longer than 24 hours, no matter who they are, if that makes you worst than somebody else... then i don´t know what will make you better...
Waiting for your conscious reply
member
Activity: 112
Merit: 12
January 18, 2018, 02:43:39 PM
#1
It all started while watching a random ad, about the Price of bitcoin. Then I remembered that many years ago my cousin told me to invest in Bitcoin, but I did not listen, I had the loser mindset at the time.
As I read the ad I struggled to stand up. I grew dizzy, almost fainting. I laid in the bed and cried. I cried for several hours, to relieve the pressure inside my head. I am an agnostic but at that night I believed in God, praying to Him (or her) to give me a second chance. And I was hating myself, hating my entire life, of what a lazy worthless fool I was.
It was ironic because at that night, even though I started to believe in God, it was my belief in God which made me no longer believe Determinism. The idea we have "fates" or that our destiny is predestined, is what some religious people claim proves God. But at that moment I realized we live in a cold, hollow universe, and that I had no "fate", nothing I did in my life was meant to happen. All of my life was meaningless, because of my choices I am simply in a bad world, and that our world is bad because of everyone else's choices. All of us have to make a choice and that doesn't mean our choices will lead to a good or predestined outcome, there is no regulator of our choices and sometimes we receive fates that are not part of some "grand plan" to get us all to Heaven.

So at that time I made a resolution never to be a sop again, that I would get my life on track and start heavily investing and obsessing over money. However now that I am in the cryptogame I have noticed my sanity taking a steady turn for the worst.

I can no longer enjoy videogames, or watching movies, anything that doesn't have to do with making money feels like a waste of time. I view human beings as sheep and children, who don't understand the most important thing is to make money. I work over 12 hours a day doing nothing but related to money.

It is a bit like that Whataboutbob movie, where I start out as a sane and wise psychiatrist, while I steadily go down a road of insanity compared to those around me. That is what it feels like. It feels like nothing I do is ever enough. It feels like I can never catch up to the train.  It feels like there are 20 or more trains around me, and the moment I try to board one train I realize I missed another. And I try to research but I realize every minute I spend on research I am losing money investing in another coin.
And although the trolls have told me a couple good coins, I feel like it is not enough. Because I feel like Oscar Shindler saying "I could have saved more." I keep thinking that I could have invested in the crypto game a few months earlier and that I would be rich. Now I am getting paranoid there is no more hope in crypto, with all these BS government regulations I wonder if there will ever even be a future for crypto or will it be banned altogether, the moment I get in. I wonder if my consciousness is the same as everyone else, and that I am not special, because I am linked to everyone else's consciousness and now everybody's trying to get in, not just me, and maybe because I am not special I am a worthless person.

And then I think about how I spent $300 on shitcoins, hoping I will be a millionaire and waiting for the coins to take off, but nothing happening and dev's being behind schedule. And this stresses me out to no end, I just sit and look at these coins and there aren't even buyers of these coins so I can't get my money back. And then I think about all the coins that I did buy, but only bought $100 or $50 of each, and I watch powerlessly locked to my chair as they are mooning. I feel like Oscar Schindler where "I could have saved more, I could have saved more". I think about all the junk I bought in my lifetime that I never use, that I could have put towards crypto. I think about all the coins I don't know about, that are mooning and I will miss out on the profits until it is too late. I think about all the endless hours of research still not being enough, I think about all the times I ignored my psychic powers and gut instinct and lost out on money, I think about taking out money from the coins I believed in, just to put them into other good coins and balance out the risk, even though I believed in both coins. I think about how my IRA is stuck and they wont allow me to cash it and put into crypto. It is all so stressful for me and even though I am not losing money, I feel so terrible and paranoid because I know I am losing out on future riches. I have only put $1500 into crypto but I know I could put so much more, if I just had a decent job which I don't.
And then there's all these free airdrops, there are so many I can't even track them all, and they make you go through so much effort to sign up, sometimes I get paranoid and say "Will they correctly register me as an airdrop? Or will they not like my facebook because I don't have many friends, or will they not like my twitter because I don't have many followers. Will all the airdrops go through? Will I catch all the airdrops before they expire?" And the fact I already have successful airdrops is not enough. For instance, one airdrop I was late to and so I only got 1 coin, when everyone else got 100 coins. And it keeps looping in my mind, had I only been a week faster I could have got 100 coins which=$500. And the more I think about it the more sick I become.
It feels like chasing and chasing, a bunch of trains I can never catch, I see posts where people have $10,000 savings to invest, meanwhile my IRAs are locked up and I can't invest, makes me lose my mind. My thoughts are racing and I dream of crypto. But it's still not enough. I never have enough time to research or sign up for all the free airdrops. I get paranoid my friends won't support my referals to the airdrops either. And even though I have invested in several coins which are mooning, I feel like I did not invest enough. And then I think about all the failed coins I bought, which I could have put more into the mooning coins, and I say why did I not simply do this, makes me lose my mind into a downward spiral. Some days I go to bed and I say, man life sucks, I am broke, have no car, live in a trailer, only way people will like me if I am rich, only way I will enjoy a utopia is if I am rich, but it is so much work to be rich, it would be easier if I just was never born.


Basically, this movie started me on my steady descent towards insanity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmtUuosWe4Q
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