I have enabled txindex now as well, but it still does not use a lot of memory. htop reports ~1.1 G, same as free (w/o cache).
I find it odd that you see free memory on your nodes and that your 6GB one does not top 3GB... A few minutes after syncing are enough for me to see all my RAM being consumed regardless of the amount and bitcoind version.
Are you sure you are not looking at cached memory values? The entire memory is used all the time anyway, its just not used all at once. Its a very minimalistic setup though. Its just core, the web server and some scripts in the background that update the pictures and collect the data.