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escrow just always worries. "box of rocks" problem buyer says they got a box of rocks i have a shipping label and say i sent $5,000 in electronics. who is right?
Generally the escrow provider doesn't guarantee that everyone will live up to their side of the deal. The best that is typically offered is fair and reasonable arbitration in the event of a disagreement. This is still significantly better than you'd get without the escrow.
In the example you offer:
The seller of the electronics can make a video recording of the packing, sealing, and labeling of the shipment.
The receiver of the "box of rocks" can make a video recording of the opening of the received package.
Neither of these recordings can prove for certain that a party is scamming, but they do make it a bit more difficult.
For a higher cost, you can send your electronics directly to the escrow provider. The escrow provider can then verify contents before forwarding the shipment to the intended recipient and releasing the bitcoins to the electronics seller.
It is up to the parties involved in the transaction to lay out the rules regarding release of escrow. The escrow provider simply follows the predetermined rules, and facilitates arbitration in the even of a disagreement.
Note that providing video proof that you shipped electronics, and then actually shipping a "box of rocks" *might* be mail fraud. This could potentially result in the receiver getting law enforcement authorities involved, adding additional disincentive to shiping something other than the intended merchandise.
The escrow checks the code before it is delivered.
if there is indeed a way to check and not claim i would be willing to do it
There is, and this provides some protection for the bitcoin provider. However. this isn't the best way to handle it since there is still a race opportunity for the MoneyPak provider to claim the funds AFTER the escrow provider has verified the balance.
still the question THEN would be how to still prove that the buyer claimed the code and not myself if they claimed i pulled the code first
The safest way to handle it (assuming that the escrow provider is trustworthy) is for the provider of the bitcoins to also provide to the escrow holder the necessary information to load the MoneyPak into their account. Then when the MoneyPak provider supplies the code, the escrow provider claims the MoneyPak into the bitcoin provider's account for them. This way the escrow provider can know for certain that the code is good, and that the MoneyPak provider can no longer claim the money.