Topic: Tell us your best jokes (Read 110 times)
I like jokes but not good in telling them. I have tried to learn but couldn't, i am a mean person
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
I have been living with a slow bomb ... how many years has it still not exploded?
As Dutchies, we like to poke at Belgium for being stupid, I think some other countries have similar 'rivalry'.
Anyway, one of my favourite jokes regarding this rivalry is as follows:
A Dutch guy, a Belgian guy, and a German walk home from a night at the pub.
The German guy kept bragging, so the Dutch and Belgian guys decided to challenge him to a bet; whoever could spit the largest spit in one go.
The German accepts, coughs a few times, a spits a big one on a nearby window.
The Dutch guy goes next, and does the same as the German, but before he spits, he licks up the German's spit as well (gross, I know).
As a result, his is twice as big, thus he's in the lead.
The Belgian guy sees this, and thinks he can score an easy victory, so he does the same, and licks the windows as well.
But at this moment, the owner of the house opens his window and shouts: "What the hell are you guys doing?"
In the heat of the moment, the Belgian swallows and mumbles: "Nothing..."
Anyway, one of my favourite jokes regarding this rivalry is as follows:
A Dutch guy, a Belgian guy, and a German walk home from a night at the pub.
The German guy kept bragging, so the Dutch and Belgian guys decided to challenge him to a bet; whoever could spit the largest spit in one go.
The German accepts, coughs a few times, a spits a big one on a nearby window.
The Dutch guy goes next, and does the same as the German, but before he spits, he licks up the German's spit as well (gross, I know).
As a result, his is twice as big, thus he's in the lead.
The Belgian guy sees this, and thinks he can score an easy victory, so he does the same, and licks the windows as well.
But at this moment, the owner of the house opens his window and shouts: "What the hell are you guys doing?"
In the heat of the moment, the Belgian swallows and mumbles: "Nothing..."
My friend who was very drunk, i told her that she was not in the world, and my friend started to feel herself dead, and she with crying told me 'where am I'. Sometimes I want to make this joke again, but I forget.
"I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
Try to read This is my joke hope that you will happy.
You: So there's an opening for an awesome position, and the interviewer is asking the applicants to tell a joke. One of the applicants tells them a meta-joke about the situation, and is instantly hired. You know why?
Interviewer: Why?
You: Well, you should know why.
You: So there's an opening for an awesome position, and the interviewer is asking the applicants to tell a joke. One of the applicants tells them a meta-joke about the situation, and is instantly hired. You know why?
Interviewer: Why?
You: Well, you should know why.
Thanks, it was interesting to read these jokes. You have cheered up. What else do you need tonight?
You know you're texting too much when you say LOL in real life, instead of just laughing.
How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I mean, they're dogs. They don't even have thumbs. What's wrong with you?
I mean, they're dogs. They don't even have thumbs. What's wrong with you?
I am not good in telling jokes, But I love jokes maybe I will keep eyes close to see some jokes and laugh.
Im handsome
here is my best joke
3 drunk guys enter a taxi
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again
Then said, "We have reached your destination"
The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you"
The 3rd guy slapped the driver
The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did
But then he asked "What was that for?"
The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
3 drunk guys enter a taxi
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again
Then said, "We have reached your destination"
The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you"
The 3rd guy slapped the driver
The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did
But then he asked "What was that for?"
The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
my life is the funniest joke of all time bruh
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Hello there!
What about stand up comedians, like say Dylan Moran, Jimmy Carr?
What about stand up comedians, like say Dylan Moran, Jimmy Carr?
All my favorite jokes are around the failure of bitcoin these days. People seriously arguing that make me laugh a lot! 
I find Chuck Norris jokes the best.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Now than the crypto market not going so well,
many of us need a good laugh
Tell me a great joke
many of us need a good laugh
Tell me a great joke
Jump to: