I honestly think that this can be achieved in concert with difficulty adjustments and only conservatively adjusting the max block size when the majority of nodes are found to be using all the currently available blockspace.
I still think no going back down. It is a technical limit not an economic one. If economic failure causes it not to be economical to provision nodes technically capable of operating the protocol that should provide incentives for more full nodes to appear, as more proper full nodes - ones that actually are able to operate within the protocol limits. Their appearance should be an alternative to adjusting the max block size down, not a consequence of having turned it down.
They aren't stupid, so it should not be "turn it down and they will come" but, rather, "they will come if they are needed".
That is kind of the flip side of turning it up not being "turn it up and they will come'" but, rather, "they will come if they are needed, whereupon turning it up will be safe/secure to do" or "they have come, time to turn it up".
That last one though - "they have come, time to turn it up" - is worrying. Two ways around. One, the risk of over-estimating how large of a max size the installed base can actually already handle. Two, the bait and switch fly by night nodes you mentioned, that lure us into higher than we can handle without them.
I do not want someone to [be able to] spend a few billion on super-datacentres that convince us to let them drive all median/norm/average nodes out of business even if they do not then fly by night but whether they drive the previous median/norm/average to uprade or to go out of business or whatever I do not want them so big that their flying by night even matters.
Thus the idea of setting the max block size not by what the max ubermultinational or max ubernation does or could deploy nor by what outliers on the uber side of the mode/median/mean can handle but, rather, by what the vast swarms of independent ordinary typical full nodes already have in place.
If there are not vast swarms of independent ordinary typical full nodes, something probably is already going wrong.
Uptake (adoption) might even be best measured by rate of increase in sheer number of independent ordinary typical nodes.
-MarkM-