The totally epic "I need to take a shit!" thread.

U1TRA_L0RD

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CAUTION: Angry Man with Attitude.

Quote from: beetcoin on January 06, 2014, 04:05:28 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 06, 2014, 03:32:49 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 06, 2014, 03:25:58 PM

I am at the airport right now and need to take a shit. Dont like to shit in public restrooms, plus i have my belongings with me. I dojt want to shit while holding 2 bags. Halp.

Where you going?

Away. For some time. I am joining a cult.

Join the cheezus cult xD, Now thats the shit!

beetcoin

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Quote from: hilariousandco on January 06, 2014, 03:32:49 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 06, 2014, 03:25:58 PM

I am at the airport right now and need to take a shit. Dont like to shit in public restrooms, plus i have my belongings with me. I dojt want to shit while holding 2 bags. Halp.

Where you going?

Away. For some time. I am joining a cult.

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 06, 2014, 03:25:58 PM

I am at the airport right now and need to take a shit. Dont like to shit in public restrooms, plus i have my belongings with me. I dojt want to shit while holding 2 bags. Halp.

Where you going?

beetcoin

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I am at the airport right now and need to take a shit. Dont like to shit in public restrooms, plus i have my belongings with me. I dojt want to shit while holding 2 bags. Halp.

U1TRA_L0RD

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Quote from: Haidang1796 on January 06, 2014, 03:13:57 AM

i'm surprised that a lot of people really give a shit Grin

Some people need shit like this in their life to have some fun.

Haidang1796

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i'm surprised that a lot of people really give a shit Grin

beetcoin

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i just took a power shit.. 10 seconds, and a decent load.. and i was on my merry way.

U1TRA_L0RD

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I hate it when I fart and I cant tell if im going to poop or not, I wont take the risk.

beetcoin

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and this video as well http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

e521

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Quote from: hilariousandco on January 04, 2014, 05:08:07 PM

Quote from: st4nl3y on January 04, 2014, 04:53:37 PM

my shit is so heavy the toilet water is splashing up my ass!

Like this:

Hate it when that happens.

Oh man fucking hate this, it happen every time I had chana masala for dinner!

beetcoin

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the worst thing about is that once you take a shit, it stinks up the whole restroom and they know it's you.

U1TRA_L0RD

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CAUTION: Angry Man with Attitude.

I hate it when im in someones house for dinner and have to take a shit, only to realize its not shit, but diarrhea, and with every force you have, you try to make it less loud, so no one outside will hear.

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 04, 2014, 05:47:46 PM

i will pass. the only things that come out of my orifices are sweat, piss, shit, and saliva. nothing goes in.

Then you will never have truly lived.

beetcoin

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i will pass. the only things that come out of my orifices are sweat, piss, shit, and saliva. nothing goes in.

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 04, 2014, 05:25:52 PM

reporting in, just took another successful dump. endorphins released were fantasmic.

Seriously, get pegged and see how many endorphins that releases. You'll have your tiny mind blown.

beetcoin

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reporting in, just took another successful dump. endorphins released were fantasmic.

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Quote from: st4nl3y on January 04, 2014, 04:53:37 PM

my shit is so heavy the toilet water is splashing up my ass!

Like this:

Hate it when that happens.

st4nl3y

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my shit is so heavy the toilet water is splashing up my ass!

Phinnaeus Gage

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Quote from: U1TRA_L0RD on January 04, 2014, 09:16:57 AM

I find it really hard to wipe when my laptop is on my lap. While taking a shit.

Set up a small table like I'm using now.

U1TRA_L0RD

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I find it really hard to wipe when my laptop is on my lap. While taking a shit.

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 03:47:18 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 03, 2014, 08:42:37 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 07:23:20 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:38:03 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

one of your national sports requires men to ride horses; you like tea; the london accent is.. decliate, like a woman. GAY.

also see here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100905190532AAht7bl

What do you mean "London accent"? There's loads of London accents. There's six people all from London in this alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTj5C_owTFk

that's the frustrating thing about trying to speak brittish.. how many damn accents and dialects do you have? at least 10 or so it seems.

Accents and dialects can differ massively from city-to-city. You American's seem to have more than 10 accents also.

Haidang1796

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actually I didnt want to give a shit. But you guys are so hilarious that I changed my mind. Now I give a shit

beetcoin

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Quote from: hilariousandco on January 03, 2014, 08:42:37 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 07:23:20 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:38:03 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

one of your national sports requires men to ride horses; you like tea; the london accent is.. decliate, like a woman. GAY.

also see here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100905190532AAht7bl

What do you mean "London accent"? There's loads of London accents. There's six people all from London in this alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTj5C_owTFk

that's the frustrating thing about trying to speak brittish.. how many damn accents and dialects do you have? at least 10 or so it seems.

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 07:23:20 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:38:03 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

one of your national sports requires men to ride horses; you like tea; the london accent is.. decliate, like a woman. GAY.

also see here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100905190532AAht7bl

What do you mean "London accent"? There's loads of London accents. There's six people all from London in this alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTj5C_owTFk

mprep

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 06:17:48 AM

Quote from: mprep on January 03, 2014, 06:14:18 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 02:24:38 AM

Quote from: Rassah on January 03, 2014, 01:45:38 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 01:40:53 AM

it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Hugh Jackman is Australian. And, really, he's so hot that it's not technically gay to want him inside of you.

hugh laurie's a brit.

Why the hell every discussion turns into a war between nations, an overly inspiring advices lodge or a confessions of their weirdness?

i don't know, but you must be brittish because you sure sound... gay Wink

Nope, not even close. I'm Lithuanian, from one of the Baltic countries in Eastern Europe. Toughness is our middle name Grin

.

beetcoin

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Quote from: mprep on January 03, 2014, 06:14:18 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 02:24:38 AM

Quote from: Rassah on January 03, 2014, 01:45:38 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 01:40:53 AM

it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Hugh Jackman is Australian. And, really, he's so hot that it's not technically gay to want him inside of you.

hugh laurie's a brit.

Why the hell every discussion turns into a war between nations, an overly inspiring advices lodge or a confessions of their weirdness?

i don't know, but you must be brittish because you sure sound... gay Wink

mprep

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In a world of peaches, don't ask for apple sauce

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 02:24:38 AM

Quote from: Rassah on January 03, 2014, 01:45:38 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 01:40:53 AM

it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Hugh Jackman is Australian. And, really, he's so hot that it's not technically gay to want him inside of you.

hugh laurie's a brit.

Why the hell every discussion turns into a war between nations, an overly inspiring advices lodge or a confessions of their weirdness?

beetcoin

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Quote from: Rassah on January 03, 2014, 01:45:38 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 01:40:53 AM

it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Hugh Jackman is Australian. And, really, he's so hot that it's not technically gay to want him inside of you.

hugh laurie's a brit.

Rassah

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 03, 2014, 01:40:53 AM

it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Hugh Jackman is Australian. And, really, he's so hot that it's not technically gay to want him inside of you.

beetcoin

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it's more like because they say "hugh, i want you inside of me"

Rassah

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 07:23:20 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:38:03 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

one of your national sports requires men to ride horses; you like tea; the london accent is.. decliate, like a woman. GAY.

also see here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100905190532AAht7bl

Is it because they say, "Oh my! I am dreadfully sorry for making such a mess of things." While they are having an orgasm?

Phinnaeus Gage

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Here I sit...

beetcoin

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Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:38:03 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

one of your national sports requires men to ride horses; you like tea; the london accent is.. decliate, like a woman. GAY.

also see here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100905190532AAht7bl

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 04:33:53 PM

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

I cannot even fathom any logic behind this statement.

beetcoin

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i don't know why he's putting that on me. he's the one that likes things up his butt. i'm not for it.

also, he's british.. so must be gay and all.

hilariousandco

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Quote from: mprep on January 02, 2014, 04:07:48 PM

Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:02:05 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 03:41:57 PM

don't know what that means.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_%28sexual_practice%29

Seems like many people try similiar things in prison, just they're of different gender and don't need a strap-on. Cheesy

Then that would just be gay sex, or man-on-man rape.

mprep

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Quote from: hilariousandco on January 02, 2014, 04:02:05 PM

Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 03:41:57 PM

don't know what that means.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_%28sexual_practice%29

Seems like many people try similiar things in prison, just they're of different gender and don't need a strap-on. Cheesy

hilariousandco

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Quote from: beetcoin on January 02, 2014, 03:41:57 PM

don't know what that means.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_%28sexual_practice%29

beetcoin

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don't know what that means.

anyways, reporting in.. just took a big dump. had mexican food yesterday, was explosive. felt great.

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Quote from: beetcoin on December 30, 2013, 06:59:09 PM

shitting and sex are the two most worldly pleasures.. what about taking a dump on someone? that would be combining both.

Have you been pegged yet?

beetcoin

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shitting and sex are the two most worldly pleasures.. what about taking a dump on someone? that would be combining both.

Haidang1796

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Quote from: Olly_K on December 30, 2013, 03:36:45 PM

I feel a ShitCoin coming........

haha =)) that might be true =)) we have coin for everything lol

Welsh

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Seems "shitboy" is going to be taking a shit on

Quote from: Olly_K on December 30, 2013, 03:36:45 PM

I feel a ShitCoin coming........

Don't give people ideas....

Haidang1796

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i'm shitting right now, how's that =))

Olly_K

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I feel a ShitCoin coming........

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I just had a shit and as my arsehole gaped open to drop its brown cargo I did a queef that sounded almost exactly like the screams of the Exenomorphs from the film Alien. Was literally pissing myself laughing on the toilet. http://youtu.be/4uHpJHwgit8?t=6s

Phinnaeus Gage

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Here I sit, shittin' corn beef hash
Normally I smoke, but my lighter's cashed.

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Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 18, 2013, 11:11:51 AM

Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 18, 2013, 10:58:50 AM

Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 18, 2013, 02:49:54 AM

Quote from: Rassah on December 18, 2013, 02:45:41 AM

If you ever see me posting late at night, between 10pm and 2am, there's a good chance I'm on my tablet, stuck on a crapper for hours, not being able to tear myself away from here.

I generally never have the luxury of spending more than 5 minutes on the porcelain throne at any one time... my kids usually see to that.

Tell me more about your kids and are they ever left home alone?

Posted while taking a shit.

Ah crap.. OUT OF TP AGAIN!!!

Note to self: Bittzy is not from India.

Bittzy78

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Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 18, 2013, 10:58:50 AM

Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 18, 2013, 02:49:54 AM

Quote from: Rassah on December 18, 2013, 02:45:41 AM

If you ever see me posting late at night, between 10pm and 2am, there's a good chance I'm on my tablet, stuck on a crapper for hours, not being able to tear myself away from here.

I generally never have the luxury of spending more than 5 minutes on the porcelain throne at any one time... my kids usually see to that.

Tell me more about your kids and are they ever left home alone?

Posted while taking a shit.

Ah crap.. OUT OF TP AGAIN!!!

gorgorom

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Inject Its Venom Into Your Veins

My poop ripped my asshole (methadone constipation)

Phinnaeus Gage

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Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 18, 2013, 02:49:54 AM

Quote from: Rassah on December 18, 2013, 02:45:41 AM

If you ever see me posting late at night, between 10pm and 2am, there's a good chance I'm on my tablet, stuck on a crapper for hours, not being able to tear myself away from here.

I generally never have the luxury of spending more than 5 minutes on the porcelain throne at any one time... my kids usually see to that.

Tell me more about your kids and are they ever left home alone?

Posted while taking a shit.

Bittzy78

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Quote from: Rassah on December 18, 2013, 02:45:41 AM

If you ever see me posting late at night, between 10pm and 2am, there's a good chance I'm on my tablet, stuck on a crapper for hours, not being able to tear myself away from here.

I generally never have the luxury of spending more than 5 minutes on the porcelain throne at any one time... my kids usually see to that.

Rassah

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If you ever see me posting late at night, between 10pm and 2am, there's a good chance I'm on my tablet, stuck on a crapper for hours, not being able to tear myself away from here.

Bittzy78

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Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 18, 2013, 02:05:29 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on December 18, 2013, 01:32:57 AM

Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 17, 2013, 12:00:23 PM

Quote from: Foxpup on December 17, 2013, 07:23:39 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on December 16, 2013, 07:46:49 PM

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

This happens when there's still a piece of shit hanging from your arsehole, and when you wipe, you're just dragging it across your arse without getting rid of it. What you need to do when that happens is grab the shit with the paper, and then you'll be able to wipe normally without using up the whole roll.

Great! Now everybody knows how to wipe their ass correctly, thus is turn less toilet paper will be sold worldwide. People will now be laid off and won't be able to afford toilet paper thanks your advice.

And, it gets worse! Less trees will be cut down, hence no more climate change, putting more opportunist outta the workplace.

I can't imagine what else you have up your sleeve. Probably some water injection device that resembles a toilet to clean one's ass, and you just so happen to be developing such a device currently available via pre-order only. I'll be watching you.

~TMIBTCITW

can u post a video for us on how to douche? i've never tried. or do you think sticking a finger up the butthole may be more effective? i would advise against sniffing afterwards though.

In the US, we refer to it as an anime.

Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 17, 2013, 10:35:46 PM

Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 16, 2013, 07:34:56 PM

Only post in this thread if you're about to take a shit (or leave one), or are taking a shit (or, for that matter, don't give a shit).

~TMIBTCITW

My wife has me on the cabbage diet all this week. I assure you, I have felt the need to take a continual shit since we started this thing on Sunday.

Guess what I cooked for dinner tonight. Hint: It's an Irish dish consisting of a chuck of meat and a couple heads of a certain vegetable, along with a common Irish vegetable and some orange things and an onion and some spices and it was all boiled together and it'll give you the shits.

Be sure to keep the lanes to all of your toilets open at all times for the next couple of hours...

Phinnaeus Gage

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Quote from: beetcoin on December 18, 2013, 01:32:57 AM

Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 17, 2013, 12:00:23 PM

Quote from: Foxpup on December 17, 2013, 07:23:39 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on December 16, 2013, 07:46:49 PM

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

This happens when there's still a piece of shit hanging from your arsehole, and when you wipe, you're just dragging it across your arse without getting rid of it. What you need to do when that happens is grab the shit with the paper, and then you'll be able to wipe normally without using up the whole roll.

Great! Now everybody knows how to wipe their ass correctly, thus is turn less toilet paper will be sold worldwide. People will now be laid off and won't be able to afford toilet paper thanks your advice.

And, it gets worse! Less trees will be cut down, hence no more climate change, putting more opportunist outta the workplace.

I can't imagine what else you have up your sleeve. Probably some water injection device that resembles a toilet to clean one's ass, and you just so happen to be developing such a device currently available via pre-order only. I'll be watching you.

~TMIBTCITW

can u post a video for us on how to douche? i've never tried. or do you think sticking a finger up the butthole may be more effective? i would advise against sniffing afterwards though.

In the US, we refer to it as an anime.

Quote from: Bittzy78 on December 17, 2013, 10:35:46 PM

Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 16, 2013, 07:34:56 PM

Only post in this thread if you're about to take a shit (or leave one), or are taking a shit (or, for that matter, don't give a shit).

~TMIBTCITW

My wife has me on the cabbage diet all this week. I assure you, I have felt the need to take a continual shit since we started this thing on Sunday.

Guess what I cooked for dinner tonight. Hint: It's an Irish dish consisting of a chuck of meat and a couple heads of a certain vegetable, along with a common Irish vegetable and some orange things and an onion and some spices and it was all boiled together and it'll give you the shits.

beetcoin

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Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 17, 2013, 12:00:23 PM

Quote from: Foxpup on December 17, 2013, 07:23:39 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on December 16, 2013, 07:46:49 PM

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

This happens when there's still a piece of shit hanging from your arsehole, and when you wipe, you're just dragging it across your arse without getting rid of it. What you need to do when that happens is grab the shit with the paper, and then you'll be able to wipe normally without using up the whole roll.

Great! Now everybody knows how to wipe their ass correctly, thus is turn less toilet paper will be sold worldwide. People will now be laid off and won't be able to afford toilet paper thanks your advice.

And, it gets worse! Less trees will be cut down, hence no more climate change, putting more opportunist outta the workplace.

I can't imagine what else you have up your sleeve. Probably some water injection device that resembles a toilet to clean one's ass, and you just so happen to be developing such a device currently available via pre-order only. I'll be watching you.

~TMIBTCITW

can u post a video for us on how to douche? i've never tried. or do you think sticking a finger up the butthole may be more effective? i would advise against sniffing afterwards though.

Bittzy78

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Quote from: Phinnaeus Gage on December 16, 2013, 07:34:56 PM

Only post in this thread if you're about to take a shit (or leave one), or are taking a shit (or, for that matter, don't give a shit).

~TMIBTCITW

My wife has me on the cabbage diet all this week. I assure you, I have felt the need to take a continual shit since we started this thing on Sunday.

Phinnaeus Gage

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Just got back home, typin' this while on my favorite porcelain throne.

BitcoinFr34k

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✓

I hate it when the last piece of shit gets sucked back in.

Phinnaeus Gage

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Quote from: Foxpup on December 17, 2013, 07:23:39 AM

Quote from: beetcoin on December 16, 2013, 07:46:49 PM

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

This happens when there's still a piece of shit hanging from your arsehole, and when you wipe, you're just dragging it across your arse without getting rid of it. What you need to do when that happens is grab the shit with the paper, and then you'll be able to wipe normally without using up the whole roll.

Great! Now everybody knows how to wipe their ass correctly, thus is turn less toilet paper will be sold worldwide. People will now be laid off and won't be able to afford toilet paper thanks your advice.

And, it gets worse! Less trees will be cut down, hence no more climate change, putting more opportunist outta the workplace.

I can't imagine what else you have up your sleeve. Probably some water injection device that resembles a toilet to clean one's ass, and you just so happen to be developing such a device currently available via pre-order only. I'll be watching you.

~TMIBTCITW

Foxpup

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Vile Vixen and Miss Bitcointalk 2021-2023

Quote from: beetcoin on December 16, 2013, 07:46:49 PM

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

This happens when there's still a piece of shit hanging from your arsehole, and when you wipe, you're just dragging it across your arse without getting rid of it. What you need to do when that happens is grab the shit with the paper, and then you'll be able to wipe normally without using up the whole roll.

beetcoin

sr. member

Activity: 434

Merit: 250

does anyone else feel this way when wiping? no matter how hard you try, sometimes the results are just plain shitty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M

Phinnaeus Gage

legendary

Activity: 1918

Merit: 1570

Bitcoin: An Idea Worth Spending

Reserved for some future shit.

Phinnaeus Gage

legendary

Activity: 1918

Merit: 1570

Bitcoin: An Idea Worth Spending

Or just took a shit.

Phinnaeus Gage

legendary

Activity: 1918

Merit: 1570

Bitcoin: An Idea Worth Spending

Only post in this thread if you're about to take a shit (or leave one), or are taking a shit (or, for that matter, don't give a shit).

~TMIBTCITW

Topic: The totally epic "I need to take a shit!" thread. (Read 2660 times)