Topic: Too much disasterous threats in relationship and partnerships. (Read 280 times)

The way the situation is looking now it is very hard to point out if the men are behind the scenes or the women are. Because when you look at the side of men they are the head of the family and needs everything it takes to be a happy man but women of these generation are hardly respectful and claims to know more than the men, a woman would be in a relationship with a man that has nothing and at last when something comes the women automatically turns to beasts in the eyes of men that one now makes the women love money than men now money is their major priority in a marriage now.

An old woman I was having conversation with about marriage said men of 30 and above should go for girls of 20 to 25 years of age and avoid City girls but the aspect of avoiding City girls is no sighted by me.

It is really very true that our mouth and tongue are considered a huge threat to any relationship and partnership if we can not control. So many scriptures also warn about mouth and tongue. So many wise people say to talk less and listen more it will enrich people's knowledge and maturity in work.

That's true. In relationship life we don't expect to meet a perfected partner or someone who'd have a 100% quality of what we expected from them just to suit desires. You can actually find such a person but you in particular wouldn't be a desire to the person.
That's the imperfection of life so maturity is the only way to manage such characters in both marriage and relationship life.
Living to tolerate and being submissive to understand each other and just live peacefully.

People are mad and act irrationally during moments of anger and high stress. It can happen for different reasons, like a boring relationship which is already lasting for a long time, without any purposes and genuine feelings anymore or the aggressions might be due to possessive behaviors one partner has over the another one, so he channels his or her energies into rage, resulting in such physical conflicts and injuries. Maybe one partner doesn't want to leave, because he is weak and enforces an hellish coexistence over the another partner, also resulting in aggressions.

It would be really much easier and less traumatizing if both parties agreed in leaving each other and living their own lives on their own. But that is a mature decision which demands a lot of authenticity and courage from the individuals. So, not everyone is willing to act like that, especially in this sick world we live nowadays.

Even there use to be times in which the mouth and tongue will engage on a minor conflict despite how close they were to each other, so also applies to the relationships with the people in the society, we have to get this right that there will always be a reason for things like misunderstandings to occur, but our maturity is what determines how we handles for it and make it work out for us without affecting the relationships we had with others around us.

The youths have been deceived by what they see on social media and Holywood. Many of them follow celebrities who have had bad marriages due to misbehaviour. These youths just copy and behave like these influencers which leads to lust and divorce. Recently one actress in my country said the reason why she divorced her husband is because she was earning more than him. Now she is encouraging the youths to only marry men that have money. And in most cases, these wealthy men don't treat them right. 

I don't think someone would be able to hide his or her character for six months to one year. If you are observant you would be able to identify that the person is pretending. This is why the youths shouldn't rush into marriage there should be a time of courtship which will help both of them to know each other very well. Any man or woman who pretends because he wants to get married is deceptive. And deception is a good ground for divorce. 

The conversation about people who breakup because of genotype is quite a long one. I’ve seen cases where people break up long after because they figure their genotype isn’t matching for the safety of the kids. And that’s crazy because asking/checking genotype should be as common as asking someone what their favorite feeling is. Some people didn’t even care to check until they get married and birth SS kids, not good at all.

Lot of youths in intimate relationships are being carried away due to causual pleasures and thinks they can go a long way of partnership of marriage.
Infact marriage is all about maturity and not basically about the pleasures both shares because better pleasures can always be attracted and gotten from others which means you could get a better satisfying person than your present.
Marriage is of readiness to pick a soul to tangle and mingle with yours, you both must learn to be tolerance and understanding each other with the shares of love and harmony but if you think you're not fit enough, then you don't have to force in else your partner would become most irritating creating on your existence. Digressing on it, most especially the women, they hides their real habitual characters until marriage then they began frustrating the man while the men too in times gets fed up of being with a particular woman after being too used to her.
Everyone is just sticking to what they wanted and not considering the need of partnership.

At times people just mistake emotions and dopermin for compatability, marriage isn't so easily achieved and finding a good partner that you can start a life with and suits your character isn't that easy to find, but where its gets bad is when people just believe that since a person makes you feel happy or loved and gives you the self esteem taht you can't give yourself, you begin to hide in that cloud and end up thinking that you are compatible and eventually after a while and the relationship has to mature out if that you can't handle it, they break up for some reason, IMO if people stop confusing themselves with the illusion of boyfriend and girlfriend and face reality that love and a good relationship needs more than feeling then we would have less breakups and divorced marriages.

That's actually right, if people are totally in love with each other, they can do unbelievable things like taking the risk to live with them, especially when they don't have anything doing or don't have money.

Also love is a strong feeling that is hard to resist once a someone has it in them but some people might be in love but still walk away from the person they are in love with for some reasons like their genotype didn't not match or some other health issues.

But being in love with someone who understand what love means and knows how to treat each other well is a sweet feelings.

Yes many failed to understand that marriage is relationship that is very hard to known it all that why many do said it's a university one enter and can never graduate all the person who in in marriage need us to keep studying life situation as it keep changing so one need to also apply it in studying it's wife because they are subject to such change Vice versa, it's good to give trust as that is the only root that sustain marriage but not hundred percent and learning the partner behavior should not be under estimated. It unwise to totally give all your heart as anything can happen human being is subject to change at any time no matter how deep the love may be., in my opinion why many if this happens is as a result of having full trust on one partner without carrying details study in who the partner are , what she or he can do it not at any point there occur a changes.

Imo, perhaps because in this age we have easy access to life stories shared on cyberspace, it can sometimes be misunderstood in terms of seriousness. Actually, I think the problem of family discord has existed for a long time and it will not stop and will take place in the respective social context in different ways.

And maybe the OP is looking at this problem because life is facing those things, I still see that in society, many people's lives are still happy. So we should look at the whole thing to evaluate the issue of fairness, but in situations of family discord, I think the responsibility of each person should be reconsidered because life has many complicated things going on. Even when there is violence, perhaps it is a lesson for those who come after to see the consequences and lead a good life. As for resolving the reason, I think there are billions of different stories that lead to conflicts and it depends on the object creating it.

That is very true my dear friend, there are times like that when both partners make an unending promise to themselves probably because they met each other newly and can do virtually anything possible to make themselves happy. there is no perfect relationship or marriage and this because no human being is perfect, time will come when mistakes will come in the relationship and also hatred and that will bring threats and dislike. some partners are the major causes of their problems because of infidelity or jealousy. i have never heard of a marriage that existed without quarrels and threats and it has become very common in the society. some partners might threat another just to make the person change his or her and might not take it serious at all.  i have also had an opportunity to attend a relationship conference where the guest speaker emphasized that no relationship lasts long without threats or quarrels and that is to say that threats is part of every relationship.

This inhumane acts are mostly done in Africa because in the western countries issues of domestic violence is not rampant because if a couple feels that they can't tolerate each other anymore they seek for divorce so it is just a case of bitterness and anger including lack of love in a marriage or relationship that makes most partners to go into extreme to inflict injury and other forms of domestic violence on their partners.

It is true that the man is expected to take good and adequate care of his family and not run away from responsibility but in a case where the man don't have enough money the wife should learn to endure except if it involves a man that doesn't want to work in order to put food on his table if not a wife can also support her husband if things are not going well with him yet instead of abusing the man and saying hateful and hurtful speeches that will cause her to their spouse.

In the case of cheating in marriage, I tell people that man is born to be polygamous in nature because no matter how a man tends to love a woman, he can't completely oblige other women advances and all that so women should know that and stop becoming violent just because of a man cheating on them. Anyone among the man and the woman who thinks they can no longer continue in marriage with their partner should seek for divorce and not result to domestic violence.

That's right and it's very advisable for anyone who is into relationship go into courtship first before planning to get married or decided to spend the rest of lives with each other.

So being in courtship as you said can help them know and understand each other, knowing what each of them are capable of doing things like their level of tolerance or patience, that is how they react to matters, especially if you step on their toes, this way can help those in relationships to enjoy and leave in peace with each other and can eventually get married if they are comfortable with each other.

Nowadays, the biggest reason why women have so much power and in front of men is social media, women are so addicted to social media that they don't listen to anyone's words. Self-conceited and full of pride, the separation of men and women is the most common reason in society. But I think both parties must be patient in this matter, and there are some bad-tempered girls who can never be kept in verse.

Yes I agree with you. Although it depends on the individual as a woman because some of them are ungrateful and not always contented.
What I know is that if you've your treasury box handed over to a true woman, she'll protect if for you as a man and invests it to be multiplied if need be. That's why it's always good for a husband to share his emotional and financial issues with his wife because they're most caring and productive to where their heart feels at home. That's another one of a man having a compatible partner to himself and in all, a woman would always want to anchor around a responsible man with gratitude.

Well, you actually right, some people are being blinded by love that they don't even notice each other attitudes, what they like and dislike and making each other angry and since there is no mutual understanding between them, which will result in cheating or by going their different ways although it's natural to wonder how people who said they love each other very much and even committed to be each other side can suddenly discard and hurt us. But instead of fighting or getting disappointed or anger, we should focus on how to improve ourselves and heal ourselves from that situation of disappointment by setting boundaries and protecting ourselves from any other harm from any other person and we should also focus on our personal growth and development because we deserve love, respect, and honesty and moving on.

I believe that if I hurt someone's interest I will surely get the opposite injury either from the victim or from nature because this is the rule of the world. Disagreement can arise between people be it in relationships or families. In such situations, wise people adhere to a principle that is to avoid arguments or when the disagreement reaches extremes, sit together and get out of the relationship through reconciliation, no matter how many reasons or excuses there are.

My caption there is - avoid arguments and forgive. Because forgiveness and arguments never live together.

To be honest, the world has gone back to the old times if it's about the attitude. I'm not saying that all of us have became barbaric but it's considering a lot of people that has that kind of attitude. Yes, they've become barbaric and they don't look at the welfare of the well being of their fellow human beings. Whether you're inside a relationship, the days have changed a lot in the modern times and people don't have that courtesy anymore to offer, I mean that many of us don't do it anymore.

Emotion.
Yes, you've heard that right. A couple that have been through a lot and they can't get into a peaceful talk and have a closure because of their emotions are high. And when emotions are high, intelligence goes down and you're only relying to your feelings and what you think is right even if it's not the right thing to do.

We shouldn't go that far asking people if they're married or not or expect them to be. That's their personal choice and it shouldn't be a question if you are ever curious why it had to be like that for him.

This facts I will not dispute, many men fine it difficult to note that women are human and the emotional feeling due worry them too, over doing if cheating a woman as most men do can leads to the woman do otherwise as she may be faithful enough to see a change from the man. Mist if the pain experience by the man who woman cheat show how painful it's in the side of the woman when the man cheat in them but can't overreact as the man dies base on their weaker nature.

Another issue is that most Men never care to know the course of their woman once it comes to cheating if it's a spirit attack related or intentional, because in my continent allot happened spiritually as many are course by environmental factors which may be unknown, some overreacting of most men are baseless.

Yes, sometimes things get out of hand and before you could say jack so many things have gone wrong especially the aspect of physical assult either from the man or the woman can be reported dead in the moment. Although sometimes also there are build up to this trouble but you will never envisage it will get to such level until something goes wrong. Things like domestic accident, fighting or resultant death in marriages are not planned, they are usually spontaneous and that is why some couples don't really have the time to properly think out their decisions before the havoc is done. Moreover, such decision of leaving immediately you start sensing incompatible are not easy especially where child/children would be considered.

Women can endure any form of misbehavior from a man but will always overreact when it comes to cheating. Women can be comfortable with a man suffering from gambling or alcohol addictions but will not want to stay with a man suffering from sex addictions. Women want to have their man alone especially if they are not cheating on the man. How do you expect a woman who has invested her time, resources, strength, etc to build a home with a man to quietly work out of her marriage? She will do everything to fight for it and she will become revengeful if she observes that she is losing out. Your friend shouldn't be afraid to get married because of this issue rather he should go and learn how to be faithful to his future wife.

They feel that they have sacrificed a lot in the relationship and that walking away will not be the best solution. The time that they have sacrificed to make things work out. Children is another thing that is been considered which makes working away peacefully hard.

You friend should not use that as an excuse to deceive himself of staying single. There is nobody that is perfect and even him he has his own bad side. He should look for someone who they ha e similar likes and they can work out the rest if they love themselves. Marriage is a school of learning that no one will ever graduate from.

I think your point of view where women are more considered to be giving protections even at unjust scenario is one of the characters that has built an immune in the side of the Women that they're being intolerance in their relationships and feels they can just display whatever way they wanted because they knows they'd always have a defendant coverup while the men are channelled the blames.
Although just as said, men at some point are the architects of the disorderliness because if they can keep their head up straight and just man up as they could be, some sorts of tussles in their relationships could be manageable but if it ain't easy to feature in, then there should be no option than just displace differently without the racking of fighting and all that barbaric acts.

It probably has something to do with most of people having the conception or idea that most of domestic violence or fights are within the context of women as victims and men as the one being the one doing the aggression.
Domestic violence when is targeted against men does not have the same repercussions, people do not take it as serious.
That is specially true here in western countries, you will see entire ministers being founded by governments for the protection of women and investigation/research on domestic violence, while there is no equivalent for men to be protected, because the social view people have on men and their role in society and family.

Regardless who is the one within the relationship doing violence, it is not supposed to be tolerated and if a relationship does not work, then it is better to move on and find greener fields with other person, instead staying stuck with toxic women/men.

With no doubt I think that's just the reality of partners being together in disagreeing never to agree for once.
Maybe out of emotions of love they get lost of themselves without considering their individual differences of getting to know each other better if they'd be compatible for a long time of partnership.
Some person's too get engaged in their relationship partnership due to selfish interests that attracts them to their partners, so they're likely to live a pretending life claiming they're in love while they're not. Just being desperate.
So once what the went for ain't there anymore the relationship turns a ring of the WrestleManias.

The cases of domestic violence is on the increase now, I've been hearing cases where a spouse will pour raw acid or very hot water on their partners, this is done mostly by women, because they're perhaps more emotional than men. People in relationships should try and be faithful to their partners, be respectful and have tolerance, inorder to avoid these unpleasant circumstances that will cause a lot of harm and even deaths. Marriage is a beautiful thing, and we can't avoid it because some people's own don't work out, remember that we have a lot of marriages that are working, so yours can work too.

I have seen many of such incidence to happened in society. Actually love is most powerful thing in the world. And people can die or can take life for the sake of love. If you don't fall in love then you will never understand the psychology or can feel the emotion for your partner. If your partner cheat you or leave you for another person, you'll tolerate it easily. You can't just walk alone silently cause your loving memories won't let you do so. It'll hurt you, break your heart into pieces. And that time people involve in criminal activities with their unconscious and disappointed mentality

To me I think it’s because the most powerful feeling on earth is love. Think about how effective hatred and other emotions can be, then imagine love at its maximum power. This is why people are ready to take their lives once their partner decides to leave them. They have grown too attached and they can’t just walk out like it’s nothing (unless they were never in love).

I have seen some issues like this in my society, and it hard for the woman to walk away from the relationship because some of them use to see relationship as an opportunity for them to leave poverty to a wealthy home, which is the reason they are ready to fight to protect the relationship to achieve their goal in the future.

It will be difficult for you to experience issues like this with wealthy ladies or well trained ladies because they know what to do to make relationships to turn to marriage and anything that will cause violence in the relationship,they will never be part of such spouse.  

She can remain like that based on what happened in the past relationship to watch carful before going into another relationship, so that what happened will not repeat itself again because many people has loss their life for such relationship, but she involved in such relationship and come back alive to learn lesson.

Not really the jealous but the benefits that they can enjoy is more if they cheat on their partner and date someone else as well, since its common but it doesn't has to be focused towards either just female or a male it can be done by anyone as long as they has the choice to do it. Also the tolerance is getting hinder, even a small thing turns a marriage into divorce these days.

Some of us think we have known each other completely without even having an idea on how our fellow partner can react and to what extent they can behave when things turns out the other way, it is also very important that we engage on courtship before making the relationship established, this will help us to achieve a desired goal and get used to each other, then we both also have to develop tolerance for each other if we truly want to stay in a relationship and make it last long for the benefits of the each other.

Healthy relationships let both people leave if it ain't working.  But that's easier said than done sometimes and  being scared, financial dependent, getting manipulated (mentally and emotionally), or worrying about the children's well-being makes walking away from an abusive situation hard.  Still and all getting violent or making threats to keep your partner in line is never okay. 

Pointing fingers at ladies for savage behavior distracts from the real problem though: living in a culture that says it's fine and dandy to smack around your significant other or control them.

When people newly fall in love, they both have strong attraction with each other. That time they agreed with others opinion, even sacrifice many thing for sake of their relationship and they are partners welfare. When when you being cheated by your partner, when you see that your partner don't like you anymore and start dating with another person then naturally, search things will makes you disappointed as well as make you angry on your partner. How can you let him/her go freely when he/she hurt you? With this thoughts, people do crime.

The rate by which women are going extra miles with domestic violence is becoming so alarming.
Currently here in my society, there had be unstable barbaric and disasterous acts by which women are being exhibition because of their relationships where wives now commonly takes the lifes and disabling the lifes of husband with reasons of jealousy that the man either cheats on them or the man is being Irresponsible to the family.
It's becoming a thing of trends and admiring by this sex (female) that even the single ladies are adjective to possessing such acts with their partners. It even becomes more fearful that the ladies fights themselves in claim of protecting their relationships and they're so conscienceless that they don't care if there'd be lost of lives at the course of fighting for their relationship.

The message being spread in the society resulting to all of it is that it should serve as warning to the rest guys who may intend to push other women from possessing such habits.
Such mayhems actions has really served as threats to the society and inciting to breed the younger ones with such barbaric attitudes.

My question is why not either the man or the woman just peacefully walk out from the relationship if they don't feel welcomed and comfortable anymore instead playing with ones emotions or the intentions to put ones life to an end because of selfish interests and anger of jealousy?
I brought this topic up here because I met with an old friend whom I expected to had married with kids by now but his excuse to still being single is that he doesn't know the mind of the ladies and doesn't want to bring one that'd be a threat to his life in the future.
I hope we can all have a caption towards the severe disasterous exhibitions.