A tree cannot be charged for murder if it falls on a person, as it did not intent to do so, for it cannot think--however, if the tree fell because someone rigged it to fall, it can be a murder weapon. We need to ban trees large enough to kill people.
Therefor, only people with idle hands can kill people. But hands can't be idle if they're busy working
We need to put a ban on thoughts.
And the following is a series of silliness:
Medicine kills people. We need to abolish medicine.
Lack of oxygen kills people. We need a ban on lack of oxygen.
People die in hospitals. Coincidence? I think not. We need to banish people from hospitals, and people dying in hospitals will drop to 0.
Gravity kills people. We need to live in space.
Hot temperatures kill people. We need to ban Mexico.
Cold temperatures kill people. We need to abolish Canada.
Not eating kills people. But that cuts into profits so we'll leave this one alone.
Getting hit by motor vehicles kill people. This one also cuts into profits, so this one stays.
Butter knives in the eye kill people. We need to ban butter knives from getting into eyes.
Jumping up and down too long and overexerting yourself kills people. We need to ban exercise.
Diving and then flying kills people. We need to banish the ocean and the sky.
Pollution kills people. Good luck banning this one! Ha ha ha!
Excessive amounts of fluoride kill people. See above.
Having pianos falling on you kills people. We need to abolish black and white films.
A lack of pirates creates a hotter planet and that kills people. We need to abolish lack of pirates.
Being heartbroken metaphorically kills people. We need to abolish teen romance.
And last but not least, living kills people. We need a ban on pregnancy.
Apologies! Liberal =/= Libertarian 
