FIRST BOUNTY AWARD - Pending edok's response
edok, please provide valid explanations of the underlined. Just so everyone knows, this isn't a valid explanation: "I see it as unprofessional" - Because we're adults.
Here is an example of where I think you could be more clear and direct. "Because we're adults" - what does this mean? Seems maybe a little...backhanded? I'm not really sure how to read it or if I should take offense. I would certainly say to another adult at work the phrase "I see this as unprofessional". In my mind it's a valid statement where I'm expressing my opinion about something.
Also, by valid explanations do you mean links/references to your posts? I'll try to flesh some of them out below, but I might not have time to provide specific links. Otherwise, I'm not sure what makes my explanations invalid. They are my observations and opinions.
what does the smiley face emoticon accomplish?
In my opinion, smiley face emoticons are some of the most ambiguous, frustrating, and frankly annoying ways that people try to communicate their feelings.
My point is that smiley faces often make communication more confusing. For example, if I said to someone "Have you had the time to send over that report?" that is a relatively clear message. If I say, ""Have you had the time to send over that report?
" this creates confusion on behalf of the reader. Is the writer frustrated at the reader but trying to be nice? Are they genuinely smiling after saying this? Why would they smile after asking for a report? The tone changes and the message becomes unclear. This is why I personally find smiley faces frustrating.
For example, I'm okay with this:
That's the spirit! Welcome to the world of bitcoin.
These smileys below, the use of the word "actually", and the elipses give this beginning of this message an uncomfortable tone. It ends very well and you encourage the person which is great, I'm commenting on how it starts. That's the best way I can describe it. I'm not a psychologist so I'm sorry I don't have anything else to go on:
I don't wish you any bad will, I actually wish you well
For the sake of this community, and from my experience of what we currently have out there... I still hope you become an asset.
I see it as unprofessional. When they are used frequently, I tend to think that the person using them is too insecure to be direct.
I see this at my work a lot, even when communicating with clients. I see it as unprofessional. Not really sure what else to say. This isn't a professional forum so there is more leeway to use them, but I personally don't like to use them and I tend to think that when people use them, they are expressing insecurity. It's almost like the person using them feels frustrated or misunderstood but is trying to also remain amiable? Again, doing my best to describe the feeling but I'm far from being able to describe this as a psychologist or sociologist.
It's a politeness that is largely absent wherever identities are unknown. When users see this type of communication in an environment where flame wars occur everyday and trolls abound, they're not sure what to make of it.
Hmmm, not sure what else to say here. People are used to other people being frank, rude, and often deliberately obnoxious online. You are very polite. People don't expect it. When people see something that doesn't fit it makes them feel uncomfortable. That's all I got.
Also, I think you could be more direct when the situation calls for it.
Maybe instead of "Because we're adults" you could have said "I need more clarity as to what this means" or "could you please flesh this out and provide an example" or "this needs more explanation, why is it unprofessional?". I don't know what you were getting at but I feel like it could have been more clear and direct.
I'm pretty open minded, so there's little that actually offend me. It's not that I have a 'don't give a shit' attitude (because I do care, too much sometimes), it's just well... complicated.
I'll say one more thing. In my opinion people want two things in life: to be fully known and fully loved. We believe that one always has to come at the expense of the other. I am a terribly insecure person at times, I can be very indirect (ask my wife), inconsiderate, and down right horrible. My wife has seen me at my worst and loves me anyway, this is grace. We need people in our lives who will dare to know us, who we will dare to let in, and who will love us in spite of everything.
This is all I have, sorry I won't have time for another follow up. Bounty or not, good luck to you and may you know grace and love to their fullest.