I'd suggest arrive to LI on the down low, get admitted into South Oaks Psychiatric Hospital (delicious egg creams there), then be escorted to and from the federal court and hope the hospitalization time counts toward time served. It would have to be an involuntary admission of course.
Interestingly it appears that the LI courts are not required to accept a not guilty plea nor a nolo contendere even when expressed as "I'm pleading no contest."
If he goes to jail it will be in Japan, not some US hotel style jail. Japanese jail sound scary, even though I haven't been in one yet. (I'm in Japan.)
I remember when the Simpsons were in jail in Japan, it was actually rather pleasant. I think Homer spent his time doing tea ceremony and calligraphy or something.
I don't know about the Simpsons, but I do know that you have to pay for your lunch in jail, or else you only get to eat bread and maybe some jam if you saved it from another meal. Japanese prison is about reforming people. I'm sure they are far from comfortable.