Topic: Waste of resources at parents disrupting their children dreams for self interest (Read 631 times)

I don't think it's a waste of money if her parents insist that she attend university to get a degree; she needs additional skills and knowledge to start her business, so she should go to the university. Since she already had fashion and design skills, she needed to go further to gain more knowledge about them, she didn't have to rely on her existing knowledge without going to school, there is a fashion and design university that she could attend to gain more skills to ensure many customers will patronize her. In my opinion, this is why some fashion designers who attend school gain greater knowledge and produce a better style than someone who does not attend a fashion school. The more information they have about producing a high-quality product, the more buyers are drawn to it. I hope she takes her parents advice because they already know the best way to improve her fashion talents.

The two parties need to respect on each others decision, parent must not force their children on doing something likewise the children must not disobey their parent on what they instructed, there are times in which experience have to work in some situations, children cannot understand the requirement or details of some decisions they are taking because they lack experience in life, same applies on parent, they shouldn't force the children on doing what is against their wish.

And most should be disobedient. If I had listened to my mom I would be a car mechanic.

It's annoying that parents doesn't want children to be want they want to be they want to shape them to the point t that they dictate their tomorrow thinking its best for them and this is why when most children grow up they tend to go or start a whole new career than the one their parents planned for em.

You are absolutely right brother, it is wiser for parents to let their children make decisions rather than forcing them directly on anything. But most of the parents feel that their child is not mature enough to make the right decision. So they are the ones who impose decisions on the children which leads to complete destruction of the decision-making skills of the children. But they have to think that it is very normal for children to make mistakes in making any decision, but if they don't make mistakes how will they learn?

I will always say this that parent are not the ones to decide for their children, they can only guide and teach them what to do and how to go about it, its now left for each child to decide on what he wants, whether to take their advice or not, but when we truly train our children well, they will not even engage on doing things that are against our own wish, because our impacts are already on them positively.

Well you are right but they mustn't be forced, our parents can only try to guide us in a way we feel is good but not good, we are in civilized world now, we have the choice to make our decision, we only need our parents to be there for us and help us in a way they can, although we can compromise because it's not everything that glitters is gold, there are some kind decisions we make, that we think we are making the right decision but we are not, in such case we need our parents advice or suggestions for us to make the right move.

At least parents got the experience and faced the reality of world, the kids don't know anything at all and they think that what they see via social media is the reality but isn't though. Social media is where people trying to pretend as something who they can't be in reality, and show only the positive/happiness of their lifestyle or just fake to gain more followers/subs.

Yes that is reality most parents don't have much ideas of what they want their children to go into but felt the pain of not meeting up their mate do to financial instability of their own parents but want their own children to bridge that gap by persuading them to go through any course if study.
They world has move away of only relying on what one study even if you don't practice your field of study the exposure alone usher you better opportunity to explore than those who where not opportune to go through the four wall of education.

The saying that no knowledge is waste is actually a reality as I have see many that have left their profession to something else practicing profession is not a yardstick or mandatory all one need is to explore and adapt not is waste .

It is the generation gap that causes us to have a lack of understanding between our fathers and sons and daughters. For that, these two generations of people should show behavior to each other understanding the gap of time and opportunity. For example, when I was a child mobile technology was not very prevalent so if we compare today's kids with that time, we would not want them to be connected to their mobiles or technology. Then there will be a possibility of trouble. But if children are allowed to interact with technology in moderation and as necessary and are well explained about the pros and cons of technology then there should be no problem. I said this as an example. That is why I think that if everyone follows this generational message from all sides, there will be no more problems.

More importantly you got your degree first, right? That's what the parents trying to do or atleast most of them who don't have much to left their kids as inheritance wanted to ensure their survival here with whatever the knowledge they have.

Sure things changed a lot and most of us don't even work related to the sector we got our degree but there's something we can learn from it and that will definitely be helpful to pursue our passion too.

Basically I won't lie the major problem between parents and children is understanding problem, many parents don't have a clue about how their child us feeling or how to even connect with them, some children may be suffering from abuse from friends and they would come home acting dull and their parents would in turn slap them or call them lazy, and the traditional pattern if system that our parents were adapt to has changed so quickly that the gap of technological advancement and society building has grown so big from their youth till their children grew up, like my dad grew up in the early Time when going to school was such a norm and compulsory for success but in my time its not the most important thing here and we are always in comfort of who's belief or reality is superior to the other, he prefers I go to school and focus on my studies alone, I want to have a skull and build my company and make some money, and that's why we argue all the time.

Well, you are right with what you are saying but that shouldn't be done in a hard way that is by forcing our kids to go against their dreams or their choice of what they want to become, all because we want it to benefit us as the parents, just like this fashion design, most of our parents forced some of their children to go into it, so that it will benefit them and they won't have to spending money again to get their clothes sew, without minding if their are okay with that, instead we should give them options and makes them see the possibility and the benefit of it and allow them to go after dreams and it's their choice to choose if they will adhere to your words or still continuing their chase for their dreams, although skills are also important but having peace of mind doing what you know best pays more. Also mother and children can work together to find a compromise that suits everyone needs if the two parties didn't agree and we should remember to raise confident and passionate children who will impact positivity in the society.

It is very sad to say that some parents have dreams but can not fulfill them. And so he is using the next generation to accomplish that dream. But many times they don't try to understand that their children may also have a desire, love, or skill in a particular subject that does not match their parents' wishes or aspirations. So children's wishes should be given importance and their wishes should be respected to strengthen them mentally and realize their own dreams.

One of the great paying jobs like that is farming. People think  it is outdated but have forgotten that the food we eat isn’t made in the laboratories but are actually plants. I don’t see how someone would be a farming and investing well in it without making a lot of money. Food is essential and if all the farmers decided to sell at a high price, everyone would still have to succumb to it. Just one example.

The problem is that some parents are very strict and they would want their children to do everything they want them to do by all means.
This should not be case. We can always talk to our children and help them to develop well where they ought to do they can be great in life.
We need to understand that not everybody will be either a doctor or a lawyer. There are even good jobs that pays well than being a doctor or a lawyer. The problem comes in due to ones poor mindset.

This kind of thing isn't new to most of us, so many people has their dream shattered not by others but from those who raised them, what those parent desire is for their child to be successful to have a degree or whatever, but they forgot that it isn't their life those child have their own life and dreams.
I think some of those parents just want their child to continue their dream job or occupation before they even have the child, they want their child to achieve what they couldn't achieve before.
And some of them just want their child to follow their occupation or continue their legacy.

Then I guess you had the best parents, because sometimes , parents are the ones who propose, and end up forcing kids to do something. Proposing something to your kid isn’t bad, it’s just a way of telling them the options. For instance, it is smart if you expose your kids to football, other sports and skills, etc but pay attention to the one they love most instead of trying to have them do the one you wish they did.

While I'm submissive to your opinion, I'd in addy say that the parents should really learn to understand what their children feels good at so they could as well assist them to make it a success.
Back then when I was still kiddie, my parents would thoroughly search between me and my siblings to discover what we love doing most during when we're having our leisures and then they'd playfully ask us what we'd love to be in life.
So play times at a leisure would always determine our response and our parents then would began to engage us on the angles related to what is being discovered in us.
Along the lines just as time goes, we're nurtured and growing with the hope they that which we finds passion about is what'd be suitable for us because we've already been given such free hands to excel by it.

It’s sad that some parent still don’t understand that their children may not end up with Big titles but can be better than those with Big titles. If only they recognize and nurture her passion for fashion, who knows, she may be the next fashion icon and will be sort for by many. It’s really a bad idea to force people into what you think it’s best for them, sometimes it causes even more harm than good. Parents need to wake up as this isn’t back in those days, opinions should matter a lot these days.

The degree certificates is becoming useless day by day but that's what people trying to pursue cause it at least gives minimum security for a job so if someone who doesn't have any financial background then I won't rule of complete graduation even while pursuing your passion. And here the person's dream is fashion and design which can noway become a burden to chase her dream if she manages to do things at the available time.

sometimes what the parents want is not in accordance with what the child wants, and it will become a conflict where one party feels that their choice is the most correct. i was once in that position, where i wanted to work more than study. my parents forced me to take my college degree and threatened to cut off money for me if i didn't take it. and with great compulsion i went to college and finally i finished my studies.

but do i regret the decision my parents took? no, instead i thank them, because what i thought that studying was something that was a waste of time and useless, that was a mistake. in college i was formed and learned a lot of things which were very useful for me to open a small business and apparently i plan to apply for jobs in the next few months.

so sometimes a parent's decision to force their child to go to college is not wrong, because it could be the best decision a child can make.

Firstly, the "little girl" in most western countries is classed as an adult and so has full autonomy
over her own decisions and/or cannot be forced to do anything she doesnt want to do.

Secondly, I know so many people who have gone to third level college and universities and received
degrees in a certain field and are ow not working in that field but something completely different.

Attaining a college degree does not guarantee or is not a mark of financial or life success.
There are plenty of examples of successful business people in my country who never finished school
or even went to second level school.

If the girl has a real aptitude for a certain skill or interest she should be encouraged and supported.

She should follow her dreams & utilise her skills. Her parents aren’t her boss, there are so many people who go to university & do a degree that doesn’t give them any real expertise, they don’t stand out from the crowd so they end up becoming a teacher or something mediocre. If she has a real passion for what she does she should ignore her parents advice & follow her dreams.

This is a typical problem in our society where parents want their children to go to school and acquires degrees but the child has a different dreams and visions all together this is due to the parents inability to know the reality on ground that times has changed and that in this twenty first century you don't necessarily have to go to school to succeed in life as far as you have your basic education up to your secondary school you're okay to go and chase your dream
Parents need to call their children to talk to them and know what is in their mind as children and not to impose things on them

funniest thing is... most developing countries RECENT HISTORY shows that medical skills and technology are NEW. not societal/cultural norms of a society/culture built over centuries.. developing countries for centuries has had fashion and food as the main industry/part of their real culture

yep making clothing far exceeded being a doctor as the main employment/ skilled role of a developing countries females role
centuries ago women would teach their kids to weave and stitch.. (and forage for food) as the main skill and role of society

its only very recent decades that tech and medicine has become popular

so culture vs new trends... if you want to speak of a countries culture.. dont then use a countries new trend

The era to such insightments that coming out from the University would secure a job is no more a valid idea becasue there are professional skill bases that are more valuable to privilege and individual in securing better futures.
All the mind needed to make a better society is a civilized mind and not compulsorily that you must pass through the university before having an influence in the society.
It's quite unfortunate that our parents needed the best for us but taking it to the dimensions that education serves the best to what we're in need of to make a better future is such a false aspirations.
What matters most in life is how we can utilize our potentials so if the young girl is if such potentials then they parents should channel those their energies and attentions to push her further to be profession towards the terms of her dreams.
If it's about making money after the school days of course she can also make it big after the courses of her professionalism of skills.
I can even bet that she'd do better than some others who had passed through schools because acquiring of skills has some potential assurance of generating income while after schooling you'd need to face the race of who's best fit in wins the race where thousands of people are in the queue of White collar jobs in a situation of just few candidates in need.

There are so many conflicts which arises between parents and kids even when they grow up because to be honest the parents especially from countries like India, Pakistana nd Bangladesh are really difficult to deal with as they intervene in every aspect of their children's life and make it miserable they need to understand that system has changed but they are not ready to accept it and they think they knew everything that's what the problem is which has to be sorted.

 :-*The truth is our parents are still stuck in years 20ies mentality of 'GO TO SCHOOL, GET A GOOD JOB AND BE COMFORTABLE'  but the actually truth us the system has changed and there are no such thign as good job or if there are even any jobs at all.

Parents often see dreams as a waste of time and often think that we Don’t know what Is best for ourselves or rather they feel we are confused on what we really want, using myself as an example when I was a child around the age of 10 - 12 u wanted to be an engineer cause I had a great affinity for destroying all the tech(kitchen and house hold appliances) at home just to fix them back so yeah really It was a thign but when I got to 16-18 when I now knew what i really wanted to do I wanted to be a business man but I had been bkabing all about beign an engineer to my parents when u was younger so it became thign, but anyway I'm chasing my dreams now and I'm not bothered about parents or any other thign.

Most parents do this but the reason for this I don't know, how will choose things for your child knowing too well that talents are natural we don't force it on anyone, I feel some parents are selfish thats why this has been backfiring in the long, I have seen where a child desired to be a musician and the parents wanted him to be a doctor but the event was funny, when the child graduated from the university he immediately handed the certificate to me parents and told them that he has done their wish and is now time for him to go after his career and that was it. So what am I saying parents should allow their children to make choice of what they really want to be.

Parents always want the best for their children so they look out for the child's best interests. If parents give good education to their children and teach them good manners then children will never turn to bad side. They should be taught about moral values. Children thrive in their lives by watching their parents. Parents are always the point of reference for their children. They are the ones that children go to when they have a problem their nature and habits are what children adopt early in life.

Parent have the responsibility of taking care of the children, but they must discharge this their duty with caution and perseverance, they are to show their children the right way to follow and not to enforce them on what career to take in life, sometimes we like a particular career and that is only god and suitable for us only and our children may not like such and want to demand having their own own different ways, this is their freedom, we must give them as long as its something that has a future career benefit and not against the ethics and standard of living, but if they choose to follow after our taste, that also is welcome.

I do understand where the parents are coming from but why don’t they just meet in the middle? The girl you know could get a degree in something related to fashion. She could go to a fashion school and still graduate and make a career out of it. Most parents who were dissatisfied with how their lives planned out often subject their dreams onto their children. They want their children to achieve what they never got to but sometimes it clashes with what their children actually need. The parents are just putting themselves up for disappointment if they would keep on insisting that their kid go to university.

Based on my personal experience having obtained a degree and not following my passion for IT has not made me get the job I dreamed for so I took my attention to getting many international IT certifications like CCNA and others in order to boost my credentials,I own more than 10 of them now and I have quite some years of experience now so I fully agree with what this girl want to do and if she was my daughter I would not at all force her to go into the university as I know what it means to go there and not get what you want or not to feel fulfilled,following your passion like I did is something I strongly recommend to anyone including to this girl.

If the daughter has a responsibility to attend university, she may put in little effort and gain little from the experience. In addition, she may develop hatred toward her parents for pushing her to do something she does not want to do. This might compromise their connection and make potential partnerships tough. It is also likely that the daughter will drop out of university, resulting in a wasted input of time and money. So it's a really responsive circumstances, with advantages and disadvantages for both sides.
A possible alternative answer is to compromise and let the daughter pursue her interest.

We know that all parents want best for their children and that's why they want their kids to obtain a degree so that they'll have no problem with employment in the future. I think that if the girl understands the situation and the desire of their parents to see her have that degree, she always follow that and they're the ones going to pay her tuition in college while pursuing her dreams with fashion designing career. She can work part time at the same time of studying the degree her parents want.

Or she's going to waste her time finishing that degree that she doesn't like but she'll give satisfaction to her parents and later on do what she likes to do. It's either pursue another course or study that will allow her to go on with fashion and dream career. So, it's either of the two and whichever is going to work for her. Life is too short and can't blame the parents for having that mindset but a talk will be able to make them realize on what type of world we have right now. They just want to have you something in paper as a treasure that's no one is going to rob you.

They say what the old person see while seating, the young won't see it while standing. I believe the parents have more futuristic reasons to want her to be educated. Given that the parents should not be the one to choose a course of study for her but they realise that education shouldn't be relegated in people's lives despite that there are no white collar jobs but to be educated is another assets itself and that is why even the wealthy business men still find out time go back to school after dropping out in their early school days

So in her case too, I believe education is important in person's life. She should look for how to study in fashion courses or related courses so that she will gain better knowledge. The area of her interest can be studied in the university. If someone has opportunity to go to school, let them go because the future is not certain for anyone.

Is really so bad how some parents tries to detect or hinder their children from doing what they know best to do. Going to the university to acquire a degree is very important but it is also advisable to learn a skill before gaining admission in the university as sometimes our skills also helps us at some point when we are financially down and also to be independent while in the university as not in every cases that you would require to call your parents to ask them of money because you would be using your skills to earn some money over there.

The both parties are suing towards a better tomorrow, the girl has her passion to follow which is in fashion, while the parents want her to get a degree. However both parties could fine a common ground where the girl can go for her degree and still make out time to follow up with her passion which is fashion, maybe she can be doing it part time, till she finishes her education and go into it fully. she can as well go for a course in the university that is related to her line of passion so she can really get enlightened about what's she's going into.
So for me, There should be room for compromise for both parties because if she doesn't do as her parents have said, there will be a lot of disarmony between she and her parents, same thing goes if her parents doesn't grant her request, so both parties should work hand in hand so at the end of the day it can be a win-win for all.

Qualification or whatever is been called is not strict way to succeed in life, it is important for the mentality of people change towards this approach, this usually they way most of our parents think, they don't see skills as anything, many of them feel that you having and educational set you ahead of other people but it is not not so, how many people working in multinational companies got the job because of their paper qualification only, if you are a parents and you want your to get you the paper also make sure you ask him or her what they are good at, so that they could go get a skill on that too because the world is moving away from only paper qualification.

The parents probably think she needs more knowledge or higher education and certificates (or the so called degree) to have more opportunities with job offerings. Many countries tend to prioritize on certificates or people who have successfully passed through the typical school system than people with actual knowledge or with the ability to properly solve societal issues. And one of the reasons for that is indoctrination. They need workers who have been molded into something they want, so they prefer to reward that than actual knowledge.
Nevertheless, everyone needs to be more educated or knowledgeable than they were. True Knowledge is power. You can do alot with it, for example your opinion or contributions to issues will have more influence than those with less knowledge. And you can earn a lot of money or do alot of great things with that if you want to. You rule with higher or superior knowledge and will have greater effect on alot of things, and those with lesser knowledge can't change that. They will have no option than to follow you otherwise they will fall into a lot of problems. So, strive for higher knowledge, and those with conventional school degree who likely have lesser knowledge will be below you. Even those who have lots of money but less knowledge will be less influencial than you. The power of money is derived from the influence of the owner. It can only properly solve problems if the one who owns it is knowledgeable or influencial.

This is just a serious problem in our society that really turning into a norms mostly by the middle class and Rich even the so called poor is joining the group of persuading their children against the whish and talent. This situation of forcing a child to do what they has no idea or knowledge in has course many harm than good in our society where you hear different degrees but no results out of it. Eyes witness one closest friend if my have very good knowledge of art very creative but the parents refuse him if such forcing him to be medical doctor and that did not gi down well with my friend at the University because allot of challenge where faced where he obtained less qualifications than required if him after all the money pushed in to actualize their plan. Today children obey your parents is the backbone of parents all the time but they forget too they need to listen to their children, destiny differs so is our talent that some one make it through degree is not a measure for everyone to make it through that means there are people who gift is to be a craftsmen, skills , even many parents children have the dream of becoming musician but parents don't support, take the case of Davido if not how his father manage the situation and created a department of music were he was able to obtain his degree the dream would have died because of parents refusal. My advice for the girl is to plan her life because the parent have done their part for giving birth to her, if she failed she will suffer it most than the parents because responsibility to take care of the parents at old age is there for her.

There's a quote "Heaven lies beneath the feet of your mother", so it makes any children has no way to interrupt about their own mom's decision.

1. Mom always right.
2. If the mom is wrong, see rule number 1.

Even you have many reasons to support your argument, if you didn't follow what your mom is saying, you're a disobedient son.

It highly depends on the country and the society that girl lives in whether there are chances for her to study and get a degree on fashion or design. It is common for societies in developing countries to focus more in practical studies which are more inclined to fix problems in the industries of such society. For example, I am from a developing country and here is easier to find a place to study medicine, engineering, education, computer science, etc, than arts, literature or fashion. Because the republic believes one needs to give priority to those areas of the country.

We would need mor context on the story of that young lady to know how possible it would be for her to get formal education on fashion and design, depeding on it it could be a matter of moving to a different city where there is a college to study that, or moving to a different country where design is more appreciated and demanded by society.
Regardless of any of that, I hope she can continue to go after her dreams, sometimes that is what each one of us need, to have a dream and pursue it as much as possible, for the sake of happiness.

I am not in support of parents disrupting their children’s dream but a university degree is important just like her passion for fashion is also important to her. In today's world, you don't have to work with the degree certificate you obtained before attending school; instead, the certificate can serve as a pathway for you to meet more people, which will help you achieve your dreams in a variety of ways. A university degree certificate is important, as is her dream job, so I believe they can still reach an agreement and achieve their goals for themselves or their child.

Many parents just by all means want their child/children to accomplish or bring to reality the dream and life's ambition they the parent's were not fortunate or privilege to achieve in life. And this has demoralized many children in the university community because it's as though they are trying to love the life of another person and not their own desired kind of dream life, and you see them failing because the passion and keen desire is not there to thrive doggedly at all cost.

University degree or the  acquiring of a specific discipline doesn't guarantee success in today's world and this is what many parents have not come to a comprehension as they still imbibe in themselves the mentality of the nineties into this current age where technology has dynamically turned things around giving equal channel of success to all field's and handwork if only you can know how to market your talent brilliantly to the global community through the internet space.

Well, formal education is very important for everyone to acquire, but I don't think it's something that should be forced on a child, just let them understand the importance and they will have reasons to go through it willingly. If you allow a child to pursue their passion and goal outside of education, even when they become successful in their career, they can still acquire formal education.

There's a popular saying that "one should always acquire the right degree or skill and wait for a better opportunity to come." Sometimes,there might be a job opportunity that requires a particular degree, and if the person who has the opportunity doesn't have the required degree, they can lose that opportunity, so it is wise to have formal education even when there is no white collar job yet. I usually advise people not to attend the university and acquire degrees only because they want to get a college job. Always have plans B and C, so that if you graduate and there is no job, you can still have something you are earning from.

The girl can be studying at the university while she is also chasing her career in fashion design. She can multitask herself, or she can do a part-time program at the university.

Well, op considerably times these things do transpire for a motive, from the consequence of opinion of the parents I guess education comes after everything to them, well the girl can still fully get her ambitions after her education, or she could still operate part-time schooling were she will be able to reach out to her ambitions and still study I gussied it a win-win for her and her parents.
Well, technology has made everything comfortable she could merely select an institute and operate some business courses and she can get a better knowledge of her dream fashion job.

People fail to understand that a higher degree certificate or what we call in my country paper qualification doesn't guarantee success or financial prosperity. The high rate of unemployment has made university degrees worthless because many applicants are pursuing few job opportunities.

The parents of the OP are ignorant of the current trends of the world. Days are gone when you are sure of getting a job immediately after graduation that is why they should allow this young girl to pursue her passion. If they force her to pursue university degrees, they will end up wasting their money. They should know that there are successful shoemakers, fashion designers, hair stylists, gardeners, morticians, etc. Therefore, they should allow their child to go for passion and not their ambition.

i can understand parents wanting the best education for kids. but there should be some compromise.
it should not be a business/medical degree vs school drop out choice. it should be a compromise of a degree in fashion/design thus everyone is happy

What country she's living in?
Usually you move out and lead your life.

A girl I know who is just 18 years old has an inborn skills of fashion and designing such as Hairstylist and the Dressmaking. This has been her dreams to make it a reality but her parents are ignorantly trying to stop her from achieving this dream instead they wants her to go to the university and acquires degree.
Now that she is being forced by her parents at what she doesn't have desires for, her obsession towards her passionate dreams would definitely not let her concentrate on her studies as she keep grumbling that she would dropout of the school somedays if her parents persists she must go to the university.
The parents reason is that they wanted all their children to be degree holders but yet the graduated ones whom had obtained their own degrees could not yet boost that the acquired degrees has offered them high graded personalities neither has they been able to secure the white collar jobs with it instead they still returns back to the streets of labour markets struggling to make better life without the requirement of degrees.
Due to the side of the World we are, if you are not surrounded with high-profile persons for recommendations then the probability of gaining a prominent job with your degree would be difficult at the range of 95% impossible.

This little girl insighted the sceneros and then decided to manage her time, utilizes every moments of it in a productive exercise, safe her parents some expenses pertaining her university expenditures at her decisions to make a different that is why she chooses to go through fashion studies to enhance and advance the skills of her dreams

So I think it would be waste of time, finances and efforts of her parents insisting that she must go through the university because she doesn't see her stars shining over there, no desires and no Passions for it at all.
And so I think she would be more utilizing, productive with a better quality and creative person if she is privileged to chase after that or dreams.