Topic: What to do with sibling that would wear your out to depression (Read 143 times)

He is keeping all the friends that treat money as theirs too, you know what they think about money? “Since you willing to lend this money to me, then you expect to not to get them back anymore.” “ once it’s on my palm the money is mine already!” “Since your money is on my palm, that’s not your money anymore!” And yeah he is so full of himself when his friend duped him into lending money, he took the money he get from parent and lend it to friends, I think it’s the best joke ever I’m totally speechless to his action, now the money is gone still he blame me for not stopping him. What’s a blast!

Damn that sound like what I’m always hoping it would come to fruition as soon as possible, it’s really an eye sore to freaking with crack head, you really can have nothing to stop them, they are totally above you.

That’s some truly heart warming advices, I appreciate your taking your time to write a long post yet I read all of them, and this spoilt brat is not typically poorly educated, he come from English education graduated from computer science, you can say he is very smart very calculative very aware of what’s risk and reward ratio, he is basically taking all possible advantage on leeching on whatever he can get from his providers, I think he learn a lot of thing from YouTube about how to be a total jerk and be a shameless leech and still nobody can get rid of him, I think he is totally womanised in provider hunting ability and harness the skill to a new height, since many politician can get away with all this same excuses he will also get away with being a total jerk, I will consider about the advices you provided, despite it seem like a losing endeavour to me.

the problem is that families do too much of the loving friend.

EG
kid: 'i want some money'
parent: 'sorry i cant afford it'
kid: 'you dont love me, you hate me and want me to suffer blah blah blah'

it doesnt matter how much love is shown 23hours 55minutes of the day. if a kid wants money in one minute and gets told no. anger grows in 4 minutes and completely makes the other 23hour 55 minutes seem like a wasted effort and pointles use of energy as the kid has blocked out all that

its not about going from best friend to prison warden at the click of a finger. its about having rules and boundaries and a way to show what gets rewarded and what doesnt
sometimes having a calm 'heart to heart' conversation about the boundaries is a task in itself trying to find the most calmest time to talk and try to get it said without turning into an argument.

the short effective way is just put a chart up of chores and rewards or a rule list up. no big conversation no back and forth.. just there it is black and white

there are other tricks too
if you are afraid of saying no. then say a choice.
yes you can have $20 but we are selling your TV
yes you can play on a game but then thats less time for watching TV
yes you can leave your brocolli but you'll have to wash the dishes

It's almost similar in families. There are member of a family that can be a burden to the entire family.
But still we can not chase them away nor avoid them. Even in there flaws their are other things we can admit they can be good at.
Scolding and a lesson punishment can be giving to them to make them realise some consequences of their actions. But still the best is giving out a good heart to heart talk to them. Make them understand they can still be the best, dont bully them or mock them they can slip further away.
Watch the friends the keep, this can influence there action, also become just like a friend to them

Secretly plan a move out of his reach somewhere, and one day be gone. That way you won't have to fret so much about the money the parents are allowing him to have.

if he is acting like a kid. treat him like one

set a chore board up: itsa chart of certain chores which will earn him pocket money if he completes it.
dont set the rewards too high. just have it where if totalled up al the chores complete would earn him enough for food and a couple reasonable gifts. (no extravagance)
the reason i say this. is by setting a low income. means he can get something by oing something but get nothing by doing nothing. .. but also may make him come to the realisation that he can earn more and earn it faster by getting a proper job and not reliant on parents pockets.
 
however by continuing to let him just beg for money is just going to continue him getting it. cutting him off will just anger him and up his game. thus becoming more harrassing and more abusive until someone gives in.
and that will become the new standard level of abuse he will apply every time
(yep all kids do that. they hear no, but then pressure 10% more. and if they get a yes. they then use that 110% pressure every time. if they get a no. they add 10% more and if it works they apply 120% pressure every time. endlessly upping it)

so if your at the point of cutting him off you have to be able to follow through with kicking him out. otherwise he will always win by upping the abuse game if never asked to leave.

so thats the options.
* set some rules which earn him rewards and see if he can change. stick to them. dont deviate, dont give in
infact make it a game where you do the chores and you get the rewards instead. then challenge him to beat you at the chores
* set a ultimatum. where he will be kicked out if he doesnt settle down

if however the family chooses to just feed his demands. then there is not much you can do. leaving you personally the only option of you leaving the situation and escaping the stress.

Long story short, I got this shameless cheating lying betatized cunning and most importantly clingy sibling who continued to leech on parent pension money, the sibling itself is a legitimate psychopath who suffer Great Depression from the jobless and office politics from the former employment. It’s better to give you some idea what sort of sibling it’s, kinda like some crack head you may get to see around your neighbor.

And this shameless sibling is spending money out of control, he’d play Crying baby (adult baby) when his demand was not given in, when he demand money, we all must bow to him, and give into his demand, the thing is he is jobless and keep spending big money on new gadget, gaming laptop, iPhones Max Pro, DSLR, sporty car, shopping ikea frequently for literally useless items that pile up overtime all over the house and create massive wastage, he would unroutinely harrass you when you have your time sticking on the screen, he would demand money to fix his credit and overdraft too, now he is spending is going over the roof, that he no longer have mercy of spending the next money he could choke up from parent pension, I think I know the pension is depleting quickly and wouldn’t last very long for his unusual spending craze that temporarily fix his depression shit, (they said spending money fix your depression, that’s work crazy dafuq).

This spoilt sibling is planning about buying a bride from specifically Vietnam (no pun intended), he’s playing the same begging game with parent again so his demand is given in, I’m sure it’s not going to be the last time he’s going to be so clingy and spend the money that he never own and never need to worry about consequence since that’s will be someone else to foot his bill for all his lavish spending, I’m not sure I have developed a huge disdain to this type of sibling, I feel very unfair I know you guy will advice me to leave the house and be my own mgtow and all, that’s what I had been planning all along but, no but I would do that nonetheless, because I’m strong advocate that man should leave the house and build their own empire without anyone in the limelight to adding the drama and purposely stir thing up. What am I going to ask is, is it the only option which is the best of the best, I’m leaving them to rot and they’re soon piling up with so much unpaid debt that I know the entire house will eventually collapse and the one who gain the most I think we all know, well up to you guy to judge I’m too lazy to deal with this crack head people, it give me very unpleasant taste, the type that same like cohabitation with some unreasonable people and you need to fix all their shit.

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