Throughout my journey in trading, I read Jack Schwager's book, watched many educational videos on YouTube, read many articles on the educational sections of CEX exchanges, and also talked with many traders. It seems to me that I understand enough about technical analysis, trading systems and trader psychology. But I'm at a dead end and don't know what to do next. Other traders advised me to just trade, but I think that over time I will lose my remaining $45, and demo trading does not bring such emotions and I don’t want to try hard when trading it
Am not that surprised, because this is what you get when listening to 3 or 4 videos from YouTube by most influencer, so after then, they will think that they are ready to trade, not knowing that it takes more than that to gain mastery in the craft.
If truly you really want an advice from me, bro I am going to tell you to stop and go for knowledge first, that money you have already wasted would have been best utilized in acquiring knowledge, than jumping into the market because one or two YouTube influencer told you how he makes millions a day, and because of that you thought it easy, so I suggest you stop trading, and go for knowledge, don't come back till you have learned and gain mastery.
OP lacks that confidence right now to actually trade on his own. It is quite obvious that the knowledge he has gotten so far from the videos he watched and books he read has not done enough justice to him. OP needs to learn alot to boost his confidence, it is not ideal for him to ignore trading with demo accounts, he still needs it to master his craft. Once he has that confidence, he would be able to manage his emotions to some extent.
It is not quite easy to master the art of trading as a newbie, in the first few years of trading, losses are bound to occur and this is not a reason to want to quit, rather it is a time to learn from your mistakes and improve on your trading skills. The money lost so far should be seen as the cost you have to pay in order to succeed as a trader. This is why we always advice newbies and all traders to always trade with amounts they can afford to lose because anything can happen.