Also, you enjoy smoking more than life itself? Have you tried cocaine?
This appears to be a misunderstanding. I propose that
anybody who smokes is
more attached to smoking than they are to health and life itself, provided that
they are aware that smoking is killing them. I don't want to get too particularly specific about my history with drug use, but assuming I had tried cocaine, and then stopped, that would be hard evidence that
I am less attached to cocaine than I am to my health, money, and general well being. The principle here is that if you know something is killing you, and you continue to do it anyway,
that is proof that you value that activity more than your life.It just seems odd to feel the need to criticize a method that has helped 100,000's if not millions of people find a way out of addiction and live good lives. Every other way to do it has always existed. Its just a way to do it that works well for many. People who don't like the idea of a solution being not drinking at all (or not using drugs at all) probably are those who have problems with drinking or drugs , but want to find a way to do it still and control it. That's been around too! And it really does not work out too well for most. If that has worked for you.. well great, but you have to admit that's really not the answer for everyone or else these 12 step programs would have never become so big. The programs also address the healing and care for spirit.. its not just about avoiding something.
Regarding the portion of your statement that I've italicized, you've misunderstood. Whether you choose to stop drinking or doing drugs entirely, or you choose to try to drink or use drugs in moderation, I believe that the AA system is harmful to any person attempting to overcome addiction and become a healthy individual who takes responsibility for their own actions. AA encourages you to disclaim that responsibility, declaring that you were "addicted" and therefore you were not in control of your own actions. I disagree. I believe every individual is always in control of their own actions and that claiming otherwise is a "cop-out" if you will.
You also state that " has helped 100,000's if not millions of people find a way out of addiction and live good lives."
I disagree. I think that this method treats only the symptoms of addiction without addressing the core problems, namely control of and responsibility for your own actions. If you still need to go to meetings and you still believe that you are incapable of controlling yourself, you have not yet found a "way out of addiction." I think it encourages a mindset which is detrimental to the quality of life of all of it's members, who might otherwise have truly found themselves and came to the realization that they choose each and every one of their actions and are responsible for the consequences. Now, many members may "live good lives" but I don't agree that AA can take any credit for that.
As far as the negative self-image associated with calling one's self an addict or alcoholic, I think that's a non-issue. It's basically admitting that they are shitty at drinking. Almost every one of them has spent decades trying to become good at drinking and getting worse at it. At some point one just has to say, "OK, I'm shitty at drinking and I almost certainly always will be shitty at drinking. It's fucking up my life and maybe it's time to admit that I'm shitty at drinking and try to get better at living." In that context, can't you see how maybe having a label that creates the possibility that "maybe someday I'll be better at drinking" would make things worse?
And actually, while society at large may look down at addicts and alcoholics, I find it hard to believe that anyone thinks it would be better to be "not an alcoholic" whose drinking is getting in the way of their job and life than being an alcoholic who doesn't drink anymore.
Well, if your drinking is getting in the way of your job and your life, then you are likely an alcoholic. Now, I propose that you evaluate why you have chosen to be an alcoholic and reshape your
identity (not just call yourself by a different label), adjusting your values to create a situation where you will choose not to drink. In this example you might decide that you value your job and the quality of your life more than you value the relief that drinking alcohol brings you. Clearly, if you are drinking to a degree that it is damaging your life, this is evidence, even
proof that you value drinking more than you value the quality of your life.
You also misunderstand, in that my assessment applies equally to people who are choosing to be entirely abstinent and people who are choosing to drink moderately. If you are choosing to be entirely abstinent I still would not advise you to go to AA meetings. They will indoctrinate you with a rhetoric that will reinforce the concept that you "are" inherently "an addict" and leave you with lasting character flaws, whether or not you achieve abstinence or overcome your dependence upon one particular substance or another.
You really hit the nail on the head when you imagine an alcoholic who says "OK, I'm shitty at drinking and I almost certainly always will be shitty at drinking." I equate this to somebody saying "I'm shitty at controlling myself and I almost certainly will always be shitty at controlling myself." And this is the core problem with AA. It does not teach you to control yourself, it teaches you to avoid temptation and accept that you will always be bad at controlling yourself.
I'll respond to some of the other replies tomorrow, it's 1:00am here and I have work in the morning. I would just note here that my initial post is not just a criticism of AA, it is also a criticism of the general concept of addiction. I propose that anybody who appears addicted to something
simply values that "something" more than they value whatever that "something" takes away from them. Essentially, I'm saying that there is no addiction, only choices, motives, values, decisions. When you label it "addiction" you reinforce the idea that you are not in control of yourself. This notion is false. You are in control of yourself, and when you convince yourself that you "can't control yourself" you are simply justifying your actions by blaming them on your "addiction."
The whole notion that it is "impossible" to overcome addiction on your own is nonsense. I know many heroin addicts. The one thing they all have in common is that they
value heroin more than they value their own well-being. The only ones I have ever seen truly kick the habit are those who
decide to value their own well being more than they value heroin. Once you have committed yourself to that decision, the substance is no longer a temptation that you must resist--you go from being a person who wants so badly to do heroin but restrains themself, to being a person who doesn't want to do heroin anymore.