FWIW, my only personal violent encounters so far has been with the police. Things like getting beaten up because I looked at them the wrong way, or being forced to give bribes to let them give up their random searches for drugs in my shop. In none of these encounters have I been breaking the law or performing a violent act, and I have never been vindicated. Not to mention that going after the police has its risks.
Your argument is, this happened to me because I have lived in a shitty country. I don't think this claim helps your point. Police accountability may be a slightly better preventive measure against corruption in the West, but that's not because the police force is more powerful. It's a cultural thing. While people won't stand for this specific kind of abuse in the West, they easily accept harsh punishments which would result in a slap on the wrist in Middle East.
So existence of police can't be the only requirement for the climate you advocate. It is a very intricate issue.
Now, I don't know if anyone here is claiming that if the State disappeared, a spontaneous anarchy would form and we will all prosper. For me, it's rather about speculations on what can be done, what sort of people can do it, is it worth it, etc.
(edited for clarification)
I've been in custody in Turkey. I know what exactly you mean and how you need to see people for papers and bring presents. But even in Turkey, the police have improved as the democratic state got stronger over the last 2 decades. The truly dangerous people are the leftist and the religious who put you in the boot of a car and administer their own justice.
What I am saying is that we know violence is inevitable but that a police force in a democratic state is a better bet than letting anyone with a money to hire militias and do what they want. I think that is true in countries that are half democratic with police forces that are sort of accountable as well. The better way is to have more democracy and more accountability.