I don't know the exact reason for this but it may be due to the difference in the configuration setting, so check if there is any difference in mempool related setting using
bitcoin.conf.
That however was never an issue before the last several months. Perhaps it has something to do with the ordinals spamming?
Possibly yes, because Stale blocks formed in the main chain but don't belong to the chain now so one of your nodes picked up the spam blocks and the other didn't pick those broadcasted from peers so the difference in numbers maybe the reason as well.
Still, let the experts of technical knowledge to find the actual reason.
Meanwhile, you can check this out that explains about stale blocks
The difference in size is due to the number of stale blocks that your node stores. Stale blocks are blocks that once formed the part of the main chain but is not belong to the main chain now.
For example, if say two blocks are mined at height 102 at the same time. When the miner relays the block through the gossip network, the network that is closer to miner 1 will receive its block (102a) first as compared to block mined by miner 2 (102b). Bitcoin core adds the first received valid block to the tip of the chain. The blocks received at the same height after that are not deleted but kept in the database just in case a reorganization happens. So, if the next block 103 is mined on top of block 102b then the node that received 102a first will reorganize its chain to one that contains 102b as shown below.
101 -->102a
\
\
102b --> 103 -->104
Bitcoin Core does not delete any valid block that it receives from its peers. It is stored in your database forever in the file blocks/blk****.dat (which is also same for blocks in the main chain). However, the software does not relay stale blocks. In order to receive stale blocks, you need to be online at the time when your peer broadcasted a block to you from different chain view. Peers will only broadcast those blocks that they view form the current active chain from their perspective. So you will only have the stale blocks that you received when you were online. This also mean you will need to be connected to peers that view one the tip of the chain that is different from other peers. Due to this variability, many nodes will have different view of the sizes of the Bitcoin blockchain