But OP could still create a link between the username and the IP, even without explicitly asking for it.
At least if not hundreds or thousands of user will ask him for the server details in a short amount of time.
But even if a connection can be established, i don't see the problem with it. It's not like your account or anything is at risk if such a link exists (especially since most people have dynamic IP's which regularly change or beacuse they are sitting behind a NAT of their ISP).
So it would be possible to work out your bitcointalk username if you posted one of those addresses here (of course you could use a way to hide your ip).
The xpub is not transmitted to the electrum server.
AFAIK the electrum client is asking for recent transactions on single addresses (basically all used addresses + gap limit).
So the information it can retrieve is which address you send to / receive from, the time you send/receive and your IP.