Here's what I would do:
- Download Bitcoin Core and run a full node*
- Set up your own personal Electrum server
- Use your hardware wallets via Electrum, pointed exclusively at your own Electrum server
This gives you the privacy and verification benefits of running a node, while still keeping your coins within a more secure hardware wallet set up. However, the combination of a full node and an Electrum server does require sufficient hardware and storage space to run effectively.
*Running a pruned node is a possibility, but you'll need to make sure that Core knows all your addresses in advance so it can scan them as it goes before it starts pruning blocks. And if you ever create a new address in any of your wallets (or any new wallets), then you won't be able to sync it using a pruned node without downloading the entire blockchain again.
Just an update: I ended up doing just that. Installing an umbrel full node on Rpi and using sparrow multisig connected to personal electrum server. That was fun. Now i fell down the frustrating to understand the lightning rabbit hole.