===== Twas The Night Before Crypto ======
(Special thanks to 3Dfilament and all of the trolls).
Twas the night before Crypto, and all through the house.
Every miner was purring, hashing nonce, full out.
The cards extended 'oer the milk crates with care.
In hopes that St. Cryptograph soon would pay shares.
The trolls they were trolling logged into the box.
While visions to da moon crashed on Mount GOX.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap.
Had just settled our trades knukin' up wit a dap.
When there on my desktop there arose such a clatter.
I sprang from my bed to browse to the matter.
Away to Ubuntu I flew with my flash.
Jabbed at the mouse, alt tabbed to the facts.
A boot on the neck of new capital flow!
The Chinese government layed siege sewing woe.
The halting of deposits with Renminbi.
Under penalty of law and with force they decreed.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
An article in Spanish I read with great cheer.
South America shifting into bitcoin first gear.
To la fiesta del Crypto! St. Cryptograph steered.
With drivers out of beta, so lively and quick,
The Mexican factories preparing to ship.
290's, 280's and flavors of "X",
To the miners in cities, a las casas, real quick.
Now Bitcoin! Now Litecoin! Coincove and Astro!
On, Worldcoin! Anoncoin! and Philosopher Stone!
To the top of the charts ! and over great walls!
Now hash away! Hash away! Hash away all!"
As stale shares that before new getwork is issued.
When submitted to the pool, dissolve like tissue.
Off to the tropics the Cryptographers flew.
With the sleigh full of hardware, GPU and PSU.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on YouTube,
The miners in Mexico, in Chile and Peru,
Were adding their workers and saving conf files,
Running CGWatcher, St. CryptoGraph smiled.
He was dressed in an S-curve, from his buy to his sell,
Clothes crumpled from crashing, correcting like hell.
A bundle of software zipped tight in his pack,
He looked like a coder, totally whack.
His eyes red as beets! His grin quite silly!
He puffed on his pipe filled with quality killa!
His hands on the keyboard fingers curled like so ,
The beard of his chin glinting with snow.
Drawing deep on his pipe held tight in his teeth,
The smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, like Kim Dotcom,
Code flew from his fingers like hail in a storm.
He was skinny and wirey, a razor sharp dev,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
The jingling sound of the blocks on his chain,
Soon gave me to know "End the Fed" could be game.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the milkcrates, with rad, cool stuff.
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
With a puff of his pipe, up the S-curve he rose!
As he shattered old highs, to the devs gave a whistle,
And away they all flew with their hash and their Crypto.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he logged off the site,
"Happy Crypto to all! Chikun ... ARISE!"