First, a need for a moderator is realized in a specific section, Theymos then looks over people's report history, as people who report posts and have a decent ratio of good:bad reports show that they understand the forum rules. After that, he will contact the best candidate to ask if they would like to become a mod. If you choose to accept, you then have to pass a written exam. If you score high enough, then is on to the physical portion. All of the moderators circle you with oak planks and beat you about the head and chest. If you are able to stay on your feet after 2 minutes, you are then able to pass to the mental section of the test. We find the most infuriating people to assault you verbally. Keep in mind there is no holding back. If you have any shameful secrets, they will come out, and no one that you know or care about is off limits. If you have not snapped, you are a "Plebian" a "junior" moderator accepted into the circle who must triumph over a few more tasks before you are finally ready to get the Staff title, and become a publically known moderator. Each task is different, some times its as easy as fighting a lion using only non carbon based materials. Sometimes you have to break into fort knox (thats my favorite one), or maybe prove the existance of extraterrestrial life, or solve the world's monetary issues. Once done with your task, you will emit a faint glow, and your limbs are now able to grow back. You are now a full fledged moderator.
Sorry I couldn't help myself, everything before the "If you choose to accept" is the real answer.