I now know what I am doing.
Stick to assembling IKEA desks and picking up dog poo for your parents; those are tasks which you may actually accomplish.
Much as I hate to defend Atlas, I don't think that learning Javascript is beyond his capabilities. Whether what he hopes to accomplish can be achieved with a rudimentary knowledge of Javascript is another issue altogether, but sometimes the only way you learn that your own skill-set and depth of knowledge aren't sufficient for a particular task is when you try to apply them in a real world situation.
That's not a criticism of you Atlas. All of us have some things we're already accomplished at, some things we're OK at, and some things where we don't have sufficient expertise to do the job ourselves at this point in time (for me its databases - I can put one together if I really have to, but if it's for something important it would be better to give the job to someone more skilled).
I know it's sometimes hard for you to accept, but a lot of skill development comes from doing something repeatedly over a long period of time. It annoys the hell out of my kids sometimes that I'm better at some things than they are but I always point out to them that down the track their capabilities will be greater because they started out with more knowledge in those areas than I did. For those of us who aren't born geniuses, ability is a combination of knowledge and experience.