But now I have no choice but to stop trading
I am sorry to hear that it has come so far for you buddy. Realising that you have to take a break from trading is a hard decision, but better to take a break than to make everything worse. Don't forget that nothing is permanent in life, you can always come back and recover. It might seem very black and white for you right now, but that is not the case. Making mistakes is part of the game and we can learn from them. Once you save some money you could always try and go back into trading, just start small and build your portfolio up from the ground. I wish you all the best in the future.